What if ?

a question that has been bothering me ever since I cast my eyes upon her. What if? What if she doesn't like me? What if I can't love her the way she deserves? What if she says no to a date? It has been a never-ending line of what-if scenarios, and they started small, but eventually my doubts started creeping up on me. What if she didn't board that flight? What if I hadn't fallen in love with her? What if I hadn't even met her? But the biggest one What if I had been the hero she desired rather than the monster she required? I'm tormented by what might have been rather than what is because there are an infinite number of what-if scenarios, yet none of them can change the past. None of them can save me from my brutal reality, which will never compare to the what-if scenarios. because any one of them would have been better than this. But now here we are. I did meet her, and she did say yes. And now I can't help but imagine what her life would have been like if she hadn't crossed paths with me in the first place, as I sit here next to her bed while she lies here in a corpse-like state. Fuck, if only I could change one thing, and now again I'm hit with another "what if?"