Phoenix Rising

******** Liam ******** I hadn’t heard from Olivia all day, but I assumed she was out with Peyton. The two of them had been playing house and I was happy she was doing it. Something to keep her mind busy while she healed. I text her as Chuck and I left work.  Hey baby, on my way home.  I was so happy with her. I just wanted her to heal wounds now. We could wait for the wedding. Now it was about her and her mental health. I was sure her hormones were fluctuating like crazy. I fired up the truck when Chuck jumped into the cab.  “So, who the hell do you think that guy was from the other night?” I asked him. He shook his head.  “I’m not sure, she was pretty adamant that she didn’t know him.” He said. I looked over at him. “But?” I asked. I knew he was leaving something out.  “I’m not sure I should say, she told me some s**t about her past.” He said.  “She hasn’t told anyone before, not Olivia, not her parents. I just think I shouldn’t be talking but I feel like it might be linked.” He said. I nodded.  “Fair enough. We’ve all got s**t in our past don’t we man?” I asked.  “Yes sir we do. Have you told Olivia everything?” he asked me. I shook my head.  “No, it’s not like I’m keeping things from her. I just don’t think she needs to know about the violence, it’s so gory for such an innocent person.” I said. “Yea, I agree. She knows you were there, If she doesn’t ask. Don’t tell. It’s our job to protect them. We didn’t do it so we could bring those horrors back to them.” He said. He was right, the things we kept inside were atrocious and we did them for the safety of the people at home.  “You still have nightmares?” I asked him.  “Na, not really. Not since Peyton started living with me anyway.” He said. I smiled. “I feel the same, if Olivia is in bed with me I sleep like a baby.” I said. He smiled.  “She’s perfect for you Liam.” He said. I smiled too.  “I know. I just wish I could help her with her own demons.” I said. He nodded. I dropped him off at his house and went to mine. I walked in the front door.  “Love, I’m home.” I called. I didn’t hear any answer. Maybe she wasn’t home. I checked the garage, her car was there. Her purse was on the couch. So she must be here.  “Olivia?” I called up the stairs. She didn’t answer, but I walked up and checked the bedroom. She wasn’t there or in the bathroom. I called her, maybe she was at Tims. I could hear her phone ringing. I followed the sound down the hall. She was in the spare room. The one we had decided would be the nursery. I swung the door open. s**t.  “Olivia!” I said. Rushing to her side. She sat on the floor. Her eyes were red and puffy. Sobs wracking her body. Surrounded by bottles of alcohol.  “Baby.” I said, pulling her onto my knee. I noticed the bottles were full. I thought so anyway. I began scanning them. Yup, full. I don’t think she touched any of them.  “I.I.I.I did.d.d.nt d.d.d.rink annn...nnnny.” She said through her tears. I cradled her and rocked her back and forth. I was so lost. I didn’t know how to help her. I wanted to help her. But I had no clue what to do. This pain was so different from the pain I had experienced in my life. Her pain was something she didn’t actively participate in. Soon she drifted into a restless sleep. I called dr. Porter.  “Liam. How is everything this evening?” He asked me. I sighed.  “I don’t know what happened. I came home and Olivia was sitting in the nursery crying with bottles of alcohol all around her.” I said. He was silent for a minute.  “Oh, that’s not good. Is she drunk?” He asked.  “No, she didn’t touch it. She bought it and sat with it.” I said. He was quiet for a minute again.  “Well honestly Liam, that’s a good thing. She beat a demon sitting all day with something she used to want.” He said. I was quiet. Thinking, unsure of what to say.  “Liam.” He said, seeing if I was still on the line.  “What do I do to help her? I feel so helpless.” I said sadly.  “Liam, you are helping her. Keep supporting her. You are the best form of therapy she could ever have?” He said. I was quiet.  “What’s wrong with her today?” I finally asked.  “You know I’m not supposed to say.” He said. I knew it, but I hoped he would.  “I know, but how do I help her if I don’t know what to say?” I asked. He chuckled.  “Just be there for her, reassure her. Tell her you love her. That’s what she needs.” He said.  “K.” I said. I really wished he’d give me a clue.  “You can’t give me anything?” I asked. He was quiet for a minute.  “Well, don’t tell her I said anything. But she thinks she can’t have babies now.” He said.  “What that’s ridiculous. My mom had seven miscarriages, she had four grown ass kids.” I said.  “Yes, I know it’s ridiculous, you know it. She feels vulnerable and she feels like she won’t ever be capable of giving you the family you want.” He said.  “Ok, thank you for giving me that information. I’ll try and get me to tell her myself.” I said.  “That would be best, that way she won’t suspect you called me and it’s best if she finds the strength to tell you herself.” He said.  “Thanks Doc. I think I’ll make her something to eat and try and have a little chat. Should we maybe come in tomorrow?” I asked him.  “No Liam. I think maybe tomorrow you should let her have a break.” He said. “OK, thanks again Doc.” I said, hanging up the phone. I made her a grilled cheese. I honestly didn’t know how to cook very well. On my own almost twelve years, I lived on pizza pops and soup most days. Then I walked up to the bedroom. I shook her gently awake. She opened her eyes, they were still bloodshot and puffy.  “Hi honey.” I said, she sat up. Rubbed her eyes and stretched.  “Hi.” She said quietly. I handed her the plate. She looked embarrassed.  “What happened?” I asked her. She shook her head. But she took a bite.  “You have a bad day with the good doctor?” I asked her. I watched a tear fall. I reached out and wiped the next one off her cheek.  “No, not really. More like a huge breakthrough and it just sent me over the edge.” She said. I nodded.  “I get it baby. Those days can be as hard or worse than any other days.” I said. She nodded.  “I don’t want to cry anymore.” She said as I reached out to touch her. Ouch, I make her cry. I must have looked hurt.  “If you touch me I’ll cry because I’ll just feel like I can.” She said.  “You can Olivia. You can always cry on me, that’s what I’m here for.” I said. She stifled a sob.  “So why did you go to the liquor store?” I asked. I was actually worried about how she got it. I prayed to god she hadn’t texted Connor. I assumed he was still in rehab. But lord knows with those damn places.  “I don’t know. I thought I wanted it, but then I just couldn’t do it.” She said.  “Am I an alcoholic?” She asked. I shook my head no.  “Nope,” I said. She chuckled.  “Sure. I had a bad day so I went to a shady liquor store and tipped the cashier to sell to me.” She said. Thank god. I thought.  “Olivia, alcoholics don’t buy it and look at it. They drink it.” I said simply. It was true. She wasn’t an alcoholic. Lots of us liked to drink. We needed a beer after a hard day's work. Alcoholics couldn’t go a day without one. She nodded.  “Liam.” She said, I took her hand. The one thing I wouldn’t do for her is not comfort her.  “What if I can’t have babies?” She asked. My heart shattered as she said it. The defeat in her voice crushed me.  “Olivia, you don’t know that why would you think that?” I asked her.  “Because, I lost one already and I’m young.” She said simply. I understood the logic. But I also knew women’s bodies weren’t logical.  “Olivia, women’s bodies are magical things. Just because one baby is lost doesn’t mean there won’t be more. You can call my mom and talk to her if you want. She lost seven.” I said. She looked up at me.  “Really?” She asked. I nodded.  “I doubt if your mom wants to talk to me. I broke your heart.” She said sadly.  “So? I’m a big boy.” I said. I pulled her into my knee. “Olivia, you can have babies. When you're ready we can try again. Until then, stop worrying about it. There are always options.” I said. She was quiet for a minute.  “What if there’s just me and you for the rest of our lives?” She asked. Deep down, I prayed that wouldn’t happen. I wanted her to have my babies. I wanted grandkids. But we would cross that bridge if we had to.  “Olivia, I love you. If it’s just me and you, then we will have a beautiful life together because no matter what, I want you and no one else.” I said. She smiled a little.  “Do you think I could talk to a fertility doctor or an OBGYN?” She asked. I nodded. “Of course you can Love. If that’s what you need, we can do that. Just make an appointment.” I said. She smiled a little. Kind of sadly. I kissed her on the forehead and took the plate off her lap. Then I stripped and slid into bed beside her. Pulling her to me.  “I’m sorry I couldn’t make love this morning.” She said.  “Baby, you keep worrying about these things that I’m not worried about. Never be sorry for how you're feeling.” I said. I meant it too. I wasn’t worried about it. I couldn’t blame her for feeling that way. She settled down into my arms and quit shaking from sobs. I felt her relax. She drifted off and laid there quietly. I followed suit.  ******** Olivia ******** I woke up at 8 am. I had gotten over 15 hours of sleep. I felt clear, happy, comfortable and safe. I was wrapped in Liam’s arms. He was breathing softly. I rolled gently. Turning to look at him. His peaceful face. I smiled and leaned in to kiss him softly. He smiled.  “Morning.” He said, peaking through one eye. I smiled at him.  “Good morning.” I said. I kissed him again. He growled and wrapped himself tighter, pulling me close.  “Feel better?” He asked. I nodded.  “Yes, very much so.” He smiled.  “I’m taking the day off work.” He said, kissing me gently.  “You are?” I asked. He nodded. “Yes miss Dawson, I are.” He said. I giggled at his bad grammar.  “Why?” I wondered. “Because you and I are going to spend the day together.” He said, his eyes closing again slightly.  “What would you like to do today?” I asked him. I didn’t have much to do. I had been thinking of getting a job, but with School starting soon I wasn’t sure if it was worth it.  “Whatever you want baby.” He said. I had an idea. I sat up and pushed him back onto his back. I crawled between his legs, sliding his boxers down over his muscled thighs.  “Olivia. You don’t have to.” He said. I smiled at him.  “I want to.” I said. He was already getting hard. I gripped him tightly. His erection throbbing with my touch. I smiled. Then brought him to my mouth. I licked his salty tip with my tongue. Taking the dew off of him. He moved a hand to my hair and I smiled. I loved pleasuring him.  “Do you masturbate?” He asked me suddenly. I looked at him, his c**k in my mouth. My eye’s big.  “What?” I said popping him from my mouth.  “Do you touch yourself?” He said, defining what he meant. I knew I flushed with colour.  “No” I said quickly, going back to what I had been doing. I hadn’t ever. I had thought about it. But I hadn’t done it.  “Why?” He asked. I didn’t answer.  “I think about you m**********g when I touch myself.” He said. I felt my ears get hot. He thrust his hips up, pushing himself into my mouth. He was getting close. I could feel it, his erection pulsing. The doorbell rang.  “Shit.” He said, but I didn’t stop. I wasn’t going to quit.  “Olivia.” He said when the bell rang again. I chuckled though. Freeing my tongue I said.  “They’ll leave or they’ll come back. We are busy.” He smiled and pushed my head back down onto him.  Peyton called my name from downstairs. “Olivia dammit.” Liam said. I popped him from my mouth.  “That door is not locked and she will come in here looking for me. So I suggest, you picture me fingering my p***y and bust a nut or she’s getting an eyeful.” I said. I smiled as he pulsed in front of my eyes. I brought my tongue to him again, swirling it around and around the tip of him. Then sucking him deep into my mouth. I could hear her footsteps on the stairs. But I could also feel him getting closer by the second. He moaned.  “Louder baby.” I said to him, then taking him back into my mouth deeply. I could taste his precum. I wanted all of it. He was thrusting up quickly as I slid my mouth down him. I felt his hot juices fill my mouth, I sat Up and he pulled the blankets over himself just as she rapped on the door and opened it.  “Olivia?” She said as she came around it. I swallowed and smiled then winked. She giggled.  “Coitus interruptus?” She said. I busted out into a laugh.  “No.” Liam said. I smiled at him and winked.  “I’ll leave you two to it. I was just wondering. Liam, can I borrow your truck? Chuck and I were going to move the rest of my stuff so we rented a uhaul.” She said.  “Course you can, keys are on the island.” He said. She smiled and winked at me as she left.  “Don’t let me disrupt you anymore.” Her footsteps trailed down the stairs.  “You are bad.” He said. Kissing me. I smiled. He got up.  “I gotta shower, wanna join?” He asked. I shook my head. I wanted to do something else. When the shower turned on and the door was shut I laid back down into bed, sliding my panties off. He thought I should masturbate? He liked to see it in his mind? I took my hand and slid it down to my mound. Sliding my finger lightly between my lips. I slid along my clit and felt my body shiver. I started working it in circles. Back and forth, round and round. I felt the wetness starting. I slid my finger down to my tight tunnel, it was soaked. I wondered for a second, what I felt like inside. I pried gently at the opening. It was warm, wet. I slid in a little ways, I felt ribbed, and tight. I moaned out loud. Then stifled myself. I felt embarrassed I didn’t want to be caught. I started sliding my finger in and out of myself. My thighs are quivering. The wetness of myself spreading onto my hand.  Felt my orgasm coming and just as the shower turned off my toes curled, my head flung back. I suppressed my moans. Barely. The feeling spreading from my head to my toes. I kept rubbing my clit until the feeling subsided. Then I pulled my panties back on and headed to pee.