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Second chance to fate

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When love is all you seek but all you got in return are insults and abuses, having being told all your life that you are nothing. At the end regrets is all you feel for chasing people that are not worth it, what will lilith do when she is given a second chance

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CHAPTER 1- Regrets
                                                                         SUNDAY 26TH AUGUST 2018 “Parents", that's what you call yourselves, yet you don't act the part. Your friends say "you guys are fortunate to be blessed with such amazing parents,  ahhh they are  heaven-sent". But today I stand as the only living witness, more like half living witness of how my late brother and I are so ill-starred to be the product of the mixture of my supposed father’s sperm and mother’s ovary”.   Lilith sneered humorlessly while staring daggers into the eyes of her so-called parents, if looks could kill they would be 6ft under. The unquenchable fire and light that once shined in Lilith’s Irish-bluish eyes was dead and gone; instead of,only darkness, pain, regret, anger, and agony remained. She stood on the upper floor balcony of the large hall located in Andrews hotel where her dad’s birthday party was being held. Holding on to a pillar that prevented her from falling to her death, everyone's eyes were on her.  “Honey what are you saying? Come down from that place let's have a conversation like adults, it isn’t safe, and why are you dressed tattered? Why are you causing a scene?This is totally unnecessary and uncalled for." Lilith’s mother Samantha said frantically while batting her eyelashes and looking at Lilith’s father John for him to do something to stop this embarrassing scene from going further. “What is wrong with you? Out of everything I said , you heard nothing but you are only worried about what people would think  about my clothes?” Lilith said while looking at her mom with loath. She was not surprised that her mother only cared about people's thoughts and her clothing. Her mom loved material things and fame but she thought at least she would have asked why her son was being referred to as "late". Lilith looked at the woman she considered her mother for the past 19 years. The woman who carried her for 9 months, the same woman she considered an idol and so wanted to please and gain her love. She did everything to be close to her, to be loved by her, even going through plastic surgery to look more like her because according to her mom she was ugly, fat and was not the daughter she wanted. She even went as far as sleeping with their business associate so that they could seal the deals and gain favors, she did everything humanly possible. She even sold her soul to the devil but yet it was not enough. In the process of doing all this, she lost the one person that truly loved and genuinely cared for her, neglecting her brother for unworthy people. Oh how stupid she was!  Her father was no different, turning a blind eye to everything, knowing what was happening but not doing anything, just blinded by the love for my mother and for this he was just as guilty as her.   Lilith heart breaks as she remembered waking up to  her brother lifeless body on his bed with his wrist cut deep and a note which read; To my lovely sister, If you are reading this, it means my dead body has been found. I just want to tell things from my own perspective. I see how you go around trying to gain dad’s and mom’s recognition. Not, I see and know the things you do and I know you somehow blame me for them not giving you attention.  I just want you to know that I am also a child, 12 years old at that, a child who needs and wants his parents to care and love him too. I tried also to do everything I could to gain their love and company but it was futile, luckily I realized that it was just a wasted effort for people that are not worth it. Making and birthing a child does not make a father or a mother, it is the time, effort, love, and action put forth that makes one worthy to be called mom and dad. It is sad that Samantha and John are not deserving to be called mom and dad, but sadder that we are the ill-fated ones. I do not wish my fate on anyone, even on you my dear sister. I did everything to get closer and you tried to not show your hate towards me and even show me more love than John and Samantha did, which I am grateful for. I do not blame you for anything, I just wanted to say that my coming to this world as John and Samantha’s child was not planned. Heck if I had known I would have just stayed in heaven if there is one. I looked for a reason to live, I tried to live for you but it seemed like my existence was just a burden so I decided to relieve some of the stress for us both. The voices in my head had finally won.  Lilith, I am sorry for being born and I am sorry for not being able to stay and fight this battle with you, God knows I am tired. I am just an old man stuck in a kid’s body. One final thing, you call yourself ugly. Mom calls you all sorts of names and you believe her, even to the extent you went under the knife to get a face similar to Samantha. I am so sorry, everyday you are called different things both at school and home, I am even lucky that I am considered invisible. But I want to tell you something, you have no idea  how I see you.  Your Irish-blue eyes that hold thousands of galaxies that one can easily get lost in your full plump lips that look like peach fruit and soft when you kiss my forehead, your long black silky hair that is darker than coal and looks like that of royalty, and your tan smooth skin. You look like a living goddess and that is why Samantha hates how you look because of how you shine wherever you go. If only you could have my eyes and see the way I see you. I envy you for not looking anything like our sperm donor and fetus bearer.  This is my final goodbye, stay strong for me. I will be watching you from above and making sure no harm comes to you. I love you Lilith, thank you for being a father, a mother, and a sister to me. If there is a next life I pray that I will be your dad so that I can give you the love you deserve and may we not have such parents.                                                                                                                         Williams

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