DEAD ALIVE

I watch as master Robert whipped Anna with that evil whip of his,her screams were terrifying she was crying from her heart,it scares me to think that one day i could be in that position.there was so much blood,blood ran down her naked back like water making me cringe. it was a sunday and that meant free day for all slaves we all went to church as the fernsby were very catholic after mass we basically just relax around our community with friends and family, away from the plantation,most sundays meant escape from most punishments so i just dont know how Anna got her self she in this awful situation she doesn't even work around the master's house so how did she get here. she was screaming so very loudly it send shivers down my spine,his whip went up and landed hard on her back drawing more blood again,she was going to die if this goes on.i wanted to safe her so badly i wanted to kill him so badly that was my friend he was messing with,in as much as i wanted to help her i too fear master with every thing dear to me, he was the worse thing that can happen to anyone,especially n***o, he hater negros so badly he could kill you for no reason only because you were a nigga master Robert was crazy but he became even crazier after the death of his wife lady Victoria,she had die during child birth and since then our lives have been a living hell.i felt pity for those working closely with him, Martha having to deal with him every other day as she worked inside the house,taking care of his kids and the house hold chores she even have her own small room inside their house i sometimes envy her. Martha is a simple old lady that the Fernsby trusted alot as she have been working for them since master Robert was just a boy,she was the only n***o that master could stand. Martha was very kind to me she treated me like a daughter and would sometimes sneak some food for me which made me very happy she had even somehow manage to get me to work in masters house, but i on the other hand work both on the plantation and in master's Robert house even though i only ever worked outside and was never to be seen inside the house my life was a bit bearable as i could always rest a bit after cleaning the outside of master's house before joing the others on the cotton platation.on rear occations i was allow into the house to help martha out when the was a party or whenever she falls sick,those were the best days of my life as i got to eat to my satisfaction. not that we were allow to eat anything without permission or that wasn't given to us, but since when did i care about the rules especially when it comes to food,lately there haven't been any party since master's wife passed and unfortunately Martha have been really healthy. The Fernsby plantation was one of the biggest planntation in Geogia,they were a well known and respected family,they were repected for their wealth and their brutality towards the n***o comunity,the Fernsby plantation was one of the worse plantation for any n***o to find one self at,other plantation atleast had the decency feed their slaves well once in a while and others even paid their workers but that was a dream that would never come true in the Fernsby plantation. master Smith Fernsby my original master who had bought me from the slave master was no less of a monster than his son i was working at his own plantation before i was sold off to his son. he often complain that i was to lazy to work for him and after a good beating i was sent down here to work for master Robert.honestly i was grateful, that tobacco plantation was just horrific, the beatings was worse there and even the living conditions was simply unbearable. i still plan on being lazy here who knows i might just be lucky enough to work inside the house. Master Robert was the first of two children he and his brother master Williams,i have never really meet master Williams before and then there was their mother lady Elizabeth aka the witch she was a pain in my ass back at the Smith Fernsby plantation she was very religious and very unkind at the same time i just cant seem to understand her, just like her son she treated negros like dirt and such. i swept master Robert's compound as i hum quietly to my self after what happen with Anna i never want to get mixed up with that monster of a man ever.i did my best to finish my chores as quickly as possible just so i could leave his premises quickly master Robert was not one to be with. i had finish my chores quickly and rush to the plantation i join the others in picking out the cottons the sun was burning hot but i knew better than to think about a break or even complain.i worked slowly and lazily just to get away with doing less work under the sun until my back was met with Andrews whip,Andrew was a real mad man he was obsessed with hurting negros,that was his passion,he was one of master Robert's most trusted men.the both enjoyed evil that was why the got along so well. "better get to work lazy pig",he yelled at me before whipping me again i was quick to get to work.night finally came slowly but surely and i was grateful for that i laid on the planks i had as a bed in the tiny room that i shared with other girls and let my mind to take me back to my family. "run Nadia, run with your brother now and go hide where i showed you to ".my mama said to lamin and i could see the fear that danced in her eyes as she spoke,father stood guard at the front of the cave that we hid in. with they other men while mother and all they other women spoke to their children. i was afraid because mother was afraid,mother was never afraid so that had me really worried,father on the other hand was calm as always.i was only ten years old but i was well aware of what was going on,the slaves masters were here again for fishing,human fishing as father would say. i really did not know much about what happens after people are taken away from their homes but i was wise enough to know that it was horrible.lamin was fifteen my older brother and my hero he taught me everything i know,he held my hand and guided me with my other friends into the hide out that papa and they other men had made for us. my friends and i sat on the dirt floor while lamin and the other older boys stood and spoke softly amongst themselves,i saw the look in everyone eyes we were all scared yet no one said anything aboiut it.i wanted my mama and my papa to be here with us i didnt think the were safe out there i would feel better with them right here. i stood up quietly without lamin knowing and got out of our hide out,i could see mama she was sobbing on papa shoulders and he slowly rub her back,i ran to them hugging their legs as i began crying,it broke my heart to see mama cry,mama never cries she was always smiling so to see her cry i loss all hope. "go back to your friends Nadia and don't come back here okay",my mama said bending to my height i slowly shook my head refusing to leave without my parents."come with me mama,please"i said with tears in my eyes looking at both my mama and papa. "listen to me Nadia go back and hide with the other kids okay"mama said gently caressing my face."listen to your mother princess".papa said playing with my big afro puff. "remember what i told you Nadia always stay with your brother baby he would always look after you now run off your papa and i loves you very much okay"she said while kissing my face"and no matter what happen stay in and do not come out until i come to get you okay",she said stenrly leaving no room for any more stubborness,i slowly nodded my head. "listen here princess we are all going to be fine okay,now run off"papa said with a kiss and i quickly ran off with a height lifted off my shoulders, papa was right he was always right,i was worrying for nothing when papa was going to protect us like he always does.if we all have survived this long then we shall surely survived this time. i went back to our hide out and sat back with other happily"papa said everything will be over soon lamin"i said to my brother smiling as he pulls me in for a hug,dont go out again Nadia"he said smilling down at me. I had woken up the next morning quite early so i could have a bath before everyone else was up and ready for the day,i did my routine and said a prayer for my papa, mama and my sweet lamin.i rush to master Robert house and finish my chore as quick as possible so i could have a little time to my self before going back to the plantation. i sat under the large tree in an isolated area,i took in the beautiful environment and the peaceful singing of the early morning birds,i felt at peace wherever i was here i was always left alone to be with my thoughts and my silly day dreaming,dreaming about family dreaming about love,married and eventually having kids of my own.but who am i kidding with that silly dream i was going to die a slave nothing is ever going to change. escaping wasn't even an option for me i have tried that twice already and it turn out horrible wrong for me,master smith had given me the beatings of my life at his plantation when i had first arrive here in an attempt to send a message to me that here in his plantation there was no escaping,besides that i have seen people beaten to death for attempting to escape by the masters. i had loss track of time in my moment of peace that i was a few minutes late to the plantation "where were you",master Robert ask with his whip in hand,i began shivering and my heart nearly pounded right out of my rib cage,that whip i fear that whip so badly. "i was early master but i had to go watch up again",i said hoping he would understand that i was talking about my period even though that was a lie, with my head down as we weren't allow to look at our masters in the eye and our head must always be bow.he didn't say anything for a while which got me more terrified i was expecting that whip to hit me at any moment now. "give her a portions to work on alone to be done with before sun down"he said to Andrew who immediate whip me to work he gave me a fairly large portion which i expected from,Moralise would have been a bit better when it comes to punishments. today just isn't my day master Robert rarely shows up at the plantation he had overseer to take care of the job for him. but on the day i showed up a few minutes late he decided to show up,i never really did any work at the plantation i hid under the canopy of the hard working slaves and only ever pretend to be working hard lucky for me the sun was always hot enough to make me sweat without having to do much. but then again today as i said today isn't my day,i was given a three person portion to work on all on my own and expected of me to finish before sun down,that simply wasn't possible.i have been here all day without food,water or even a break i think i am about to pass out from all this execution and dehydration and i haven't gone half way. "what a lazy fat pig you are,can you even do anything"i heard master Robert voice make fun of me i didn't dare look up as i kept on going with my work he kept throwing harsh words at me but i wasn't by any means faze by all the awful things he had to say, you get use to things like this when you hear it every day. "i will have my eyes on that lazily thing from now on,make sure she finish this tonight before she can be excuse"he spat before riding off on his horse my eyes immediately began to water i seriously can't believe that i would be spending my night here with this tiny touch with no food or water at all and the most painful one would be missing out on my sleep. i had no bed or a decent space to called my own but still that little corner i return to every night was my safe haven and i always look forward to returning back to it always.we were twelve girls sharing that small space due to the high population of slaves on the Fernsby plantation and with little space to accommodate us all. i stay up that night until i have finish the whole work,Andrew was very angry at me also because he had to stay up all night keeping a watching eyes on me so i don't get to stop working at all.he would randomly whip me drawing blood from my back, i felt dead that night as i manage to crawl into what i call a bed at the early hours of another morning i was tired so tired but i still was not able to sleep right now for some reason maybe i was just to tired to sleep.i began crying i felt so tired that crying was all i could think of doing i began thinking back to all the bad thinhgs that have ever happen to me,i though about my family and when we all got seperated it made me cry harder,i though about when one master Robert friends almost raped me. it was at one of their parties,it was a big party and several negeo girls were ask to help serve,that man who had attacked me was drunk he had trapped me in the kitchen i was all alone doing the dishes when he came in "can i help you with anything sir"i said meekly looking down, he didn't say anyword and so i looked up to see if he had gone i was frighten to see that he was still watching me closely,i felt very uncomfortable with the way he was staring at me,i tried leaving the kitchen and that when he grab me. "take those ugly rags off and let me have a taste of you".he said pulling roughly at my worn out dress until it torn apart,now i was really scared he was obviously stronger than me and no one will hear me even if i scream even if someone did hear me no one will care i was all on my own now i had to face this alone i was so terrified i have never felt this way before. my breast were expose and his fithy hands were already on them,tears stream down my face as the gravity of what was about to happen really hit me,he had trapped me here and there was no escape ,his lips were on my neck and the smell of alchol hit me hard.his hands were all over my body touching every part of me. i was seriouly weeping now and begging him to just let me go i wanted to disappear and never to be seen again,he really was going to rape me if i didn't stop crying and to something do something to safe my self from this disgusting pig,he was drunk and that gave me a little bit of an advantage. "stay still you dirty little w***e" he scream at me while sending blows to my face i was hurting really badly and i just wanted out of this awful situation as quick as possible,i use to my knee to hit him hard where it hurts the most ,he let go immediately and somehow he lost his balance he had fallen down hard, hit his head and now he wasn't moving i didn't think twice before running out of the kitchen i didn't wait to see if he was still alive or not i ran as fast as i could. i had clean up and join the others acting like nothing had happened and that i may or may have not just kill a man just minutes ago,i was still shivering with fear that that man could be dead right now,the night was quickly over and we were sent back to cabins i didn't sleep that night how could i with what i have done, i have hurt that man yes but it was in self defence but who cares if that was self defence or not the punish was death master william would kill me slowly and painfully i should have let him have his way with me,luckily enough for me the rapist was later found pass out in the kitchen by Martha and he was too drunk to actually remember what went down the night before. i have never experience something as terrifying as that in my life before i still get chills.