An Alpha and Luna's Diary

5 - If I Can't Have You, I Won't Have Anyone

Braden’s POV

I met Elouise at our tree later than either of us planned. It was after dinner, and to say it was difficult was an understatement. We were never alone throughout the day with people asking us questions. If it wasn’t Aaron or Seth asking about why I overreacted to the rumors, Victoria would be following us around with her phone in her hand trying to catch us out. We made sure we were never together, and all I wanted to do was hold her.

“What are you thinking about?” Elouise asked, coming over to sit by me on my sofa. Did I mention I snuck her back to my dorm room because I don’t have a roommate? I have a sofa and ensuite in my dorm room for more comfort, which Elouise was surprised to see.

“Nothing much” I replied, putting my arm around her as she leaned into my embrace. “Just about how hard I found it, not being able to hold you today.”

“I never did thank you for this morning” she said as I kissed the top of her head while she curled up next to me. “But you didn’t really need…” “Yes, I did” I murmured into her hair, cutting her off. “People can’t say those things about their Luna.”

She flinched at what I had just called her. She shouldn’t; it’s the truth and, for me, there will be no-one else as my Luna. “Bradon, I’m not a Lu…” “Yes, you are,” I said, cutting her off again as she sat up abruptly. “The moon goddess chose you to be my mate for a reason. If I don’t have you, I don’t have anyone; it’s that simple for me. Whatever decision you make, I will respect it. My decision will always be you and if I can’t have you, I won’t have anyone.”

Elouise remained silent as she cuddled with me again, and I kissed her temple, when someone started banging on my door. “Bradon, I know you are in there; we need to talk”, Aaron yelled as I growled under my breath. For f**k’s sake, can’t he just leave me alone for 3 minutes?

“Quick the bathroom” I whispered as Elouise ran in and shut the door behind her, while I walked over to my door and yanked it open. “What the f**k do you want?”

“What’s going on between you and Elouise Emerson?” Aaron yelled as I watched Elouise open the bathroom door, a crack from the corner of my eye. “From what Seth found out, there was some basis to the rumors. I’ve never seen you go ballistic over someone. Unless…”

“Unless, what?” I snapped as he narrowed his green eyes at me.

“Is she your mate?” He asked as I glanced towards the bathroom when Elouise walked out.

“You may as well tell him,” she said, coming over and pecking me on the cheek. “He is going to find out eventually and, as your Beta, his role is to protect the Luna and if I say I want something kept a secret, he is to honor it. Is that right?”

“As a matter of fact, it is” I said, smirking as I pulled Elouise closer to me.

“I’m going to go, and you need to have a chat with your Beta”, Elouise said as I gave a low growl, objecting to her leaving. “Tell him everything and if he says one word, he will be defying his Luna.”

“Are you sure?” I asked as she nodded her head. “I’m not talking about what you want me to tell him”, I added in a mind link. I was talking about her being the Luna.

“I know” she answered, shutting down the mind link. “I’m sure, and when you want to reject me because there is too much emotional baggage, please let us do it in private.”

There she goes again, thinking I’m going to reject her. Elouise gave me another peck on the cheek and walked out the door as Aaron crossed his arms in front of him. “Yes, she is my mate”, I answered his question as his mouth gaped open in surprise. “But there’s more and a reason we have kept it quiet.”

“Was it because of what happened over the summer?” Aaron asked, pushing his hands through his sandy blonde hair as I growled, and he took a few steps back. I need to stop doing that; “I’m sure there’s a reasonabl…” “Her stepfather drugged her and pimped her out”, I yelled as Aaron’s mouth dropped open again. “There’s nothing reasonable about what that fuckhead put her through.”

“Are you cert…” I glared at Aaron, stopping his question.

“I’m certain” I snarled as he nodded his head, not wanting to speak in case I went off again. “I can’t brush my hand across her back without her jumping, but there’s more than just being pimped out. You know the bruises mum and dad were telling us about?”

“Oh, goddess. He didn’t?” Aaron queried as I nodded my head, causing him to swear under his breath.

“Since she was 8”, I growled as Aaron fell back onto the sofa, looking quite dumbfounded. “I’m not sure if Victoria had it happening to her too, but from everything that she was doing to Elly, I guess no. My problem is, I don’t know how much or how little she knows about it.”

“Victoria wouldn’t be that heart…” I glared at Aaron again to stop him from speaking.

“She started the rumor of Elly being a prostitute. Why would she do that if she didn’t know?” I asked as Aaron stared at me. I’m not sure if it’s because he was speechless or because he didn’t want me to react again. “Not to mention all the other times she’s lied with a little element of the truth; one being she was sleeping around. How many times have you, Seth or Chelsea seen her with someone? She turned both of us down when we asked her to accompany us to a dance or something.”

Aaron remained quiet, so I continued; “Elly thinks she lies because she was jealous that her father showed her attention. It may have started like that, but I think she knows more.”

“Do your parents know?” Aaron asked as I shook my head, not wanting to respond. What am I supposed to tell them? I found my mate and guess what? She had been felt up from the age of 8 and raped from the age of 11 by her stepfather. “If there is anyone who knows what Elly has been through, it’s your mum.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea” I whispered, sitting down next to Aaron and releasing the breath I was holding. From as early as I can remember, Mum always taught me the importance of not forcing myself onto anyone. Even then, she told me I might get into a relationship with someone that had a bad experience and had to be patient with them. I found out later that the rogues who abducted her had raped her repeatedly. They were the same rogues who killed Beta Lionel when he tracked them down. Can you see my dilemma?

I had confided in Aaron what I knew. He never told Mum he knew, but I think she knows. “All I’m saying is you may want to think about it”, Aaron said, pulling me out of my thoughts as I turned my head to stare at him. “I’ll keep your secret and if there is anything you need me to do, just ask.”

“Thanks” I murmured, still not really paying attention to what he was saying.

“What’s this about rejecting Elly?” he asked as I rolled my eyes, getting my focus back on the conversation.

“Jamie constantly told her she was damaged goods and no-one would want her”, I replied as his mouth dropped open again, not knowing how else to react. “She believes it and thinks it was a matter of time before I rejected her. I’ve told her it’s not going to happen and tonight is the first time she’s said she is sure about being a Luna. It’s a step in the right direction, isn’t it?”

“Sounds like it, but I still wouldn’t push her about it”, Aaron responded as I nodded my head. I agree, I don’t want to push her about it either. “She’s got her wolf, then? She knows you are her mate?”

“Um” I said as he c****d his eyebrow at me. “She told me she was poisoned with wolfsbane and possibly something else. When she woke up on her birthday, Jamie injected her with something and mentioned wolfsbane. She couldn’t move, talk or anything. He raped her, then continued to drug her. That's where selling her for s*x comes into it. But it sounds like he used a date rape drug too.”

“Is that why she doesn’t have her wolf?” Aaron asked as I nodded my head. “Asshole.”

“Yeah, but to answer your question. She heard her; distantly and soft, but it’s her” I said, grinning from ear to ear as Aaron c****d his eyebrows again. “I was talking with her, and she told me. The voice was telling her to trust her mate; that’s when she confided in me. She knows, but is still trying to evade the obvious.”

“Oscar told you?” He asked as I nodded.

“Told; screamed; had a massive fit when she pushed me away. All the same”, I laughed as Aaron began to snicker.

“What do we do now?” Aaron asked as I shrugged my shoulders. If I was being honest, I have been asking myself the same question, and I’m not really sure.

“We respect our Luna’s wishes and keep everything quiet until she is ready” I said as Aaron remained quiet, nodding his head. “Your Alpha’s wishes though; I will need help to spend some time with her. Victoria has been following us around, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever is happening. After this morning, people are talking.”

“You did go a little crazy”, Aaron chuckled, and I turned to glare at him as he put his hands up in front of him. “I understand why. If it was my mate, whoever she is, I would have gone crazy too.”

We sat in silence, thinking about everything we were talking about. “Are we going to tell, Seth?” Aaron asked as I shrugged my shoulders, again. I know I should, but I also need to respect Elouise’s decision. “He is the Gamma in waiting, he should know she is our Luna. Everything else, it’s not our story to repeat.”

“That’s up to Elly” I murmured as he nodded his head again in response. “I want to tell the world who she is, but like you mentioned before, we can’t push her.”

“One last question, before I go” Aaron said as I turned to look into his green eyes. “What are we going to do about Jamie Fitzpatrick?”

“Elly’s not going back there…” “That much I do know”, Aaron replied, cutting me off, while releasing the breath he was holding. “I know what I want to do to him, and I’m pretty sure you feel the same way.”

“I will have to talk to Dad, but yes, I want to break his hands for touching my mate, then cut off his d**k and feed it to him” I laughed as Aaron stood up and took a step towards the door. “Aaron?” I said as he turned on his heels to glance at me. “Thanks.”

He gives me a smile before turning and walking out the door. I picked up my phone and opened my contacts. Should I call Mum? Or Dad? Maybe both? What am I going to say to them?

I threw my phone on the coffee table again, changing my mind. I’ll tell them everything, just not now. I need to make sure Elouise is ready before I do.