Broken Faith

E3 - I am engaged

Honk….. A loud honk brought me back to my senses. I looked around and found myself in the car. Yeah, the car I was going in.

We are hardly 30 minutes from home, but the pain in my heart was tearing me apart. I noticed that now my dad was driving and my brother-in-law was talking over the phone.

I took out my phone and noticed the location was off. I had to turn it off because he had shared my location with himself. For the past 4 years, my location was always shared with him. I didn’t want to turn off the sharing, so I turned off the location.

I thought it was his way of caring. I was a fool, he wanted to keep an eye on me.

He said he always wanted to know where I was, or if I was safe. I was an i***t and fell for it.

I opened w******p and send a message to my Mom.

“What's Maggi doing?”

“She is sleeping. Jetlag. How are you?”

“I am ok.”

“You know, saying you are not OK. is also OK.”

“I know, I just don’t want to say it out loud. Saying it will make it true.”

I re-read the message and deleted it. I didn’t want to worry her, so instead, I typed. “No really, I am OK. I will let you know when I am not.”

I kept it to the side and once again started to look outside. I started to think, was it really that bad? What was I supposed to do?

********************3rd year College********************

I get calls from Vaibhav every now and then. I laugh a lot at his jokes. I like this friendship, but then he goes back to his proposal.

I always shut him off, saying you promised you would not force me, and he goes back to, yeah, I promised.

The only thing that bothered me was his occasional kisses. He would kiss me over the phone and say let me express my love. I can’t contain it.

So, I decided to end the relationship with him because I started to feel guilty. I felt as if I was leading him on, and was preventing him from having an actual relationship.

I couldn’t think of any excuse, but I guess destiny wanted me to end this relationship.

Meanwhile, I was also attending all the companies on campus. I wanted to get a job placement before I finished college. I was really set on making my mom and dad proud. And my hard work paid off. I got selected by a multi-national company with a nice package.

I was at a tech-fest in another college when I was called to sing a song. I went on stage and sang 4-5 songs because nobody was letting me leave.

When the fest was over, and I went to my parents on summer break, they told me that a family friend had asked for my hand in marriage.

“I still have a year left.” I was shocked.

“We know and they know it too. Apparently, the boy saw you at a function. He heard you and fell for you. Luckily for him, his mother is a cousin of your sister-in-law’s father.” My mom told me.

“No, it’s too soon.”

“I know and I have denied them too, but they are calling us daily.”

“Let me think.”

A few days later, when I was back in college, he came to my house with his mother. My family liked him instantly and they asked me to meet him once.

“Di ( elder sister), he looks like an actor. He is so handsome. Mom and dad both like him.” My younger sister, Priya, told me over the phone.

“Are they happy?”

“They are, and I like him too.”

“What do you think I should do?”

“At least meet him once. And then decide.”

I agreed to meet him because I saw how impressed everyone was.

He came to meet me at my sister-in-law’s house.

“Hi, I am Rudra.”

“Hi, I am Sonali.”

“I like you a lot, Sonali. That day when you sang a song in my college, I fell for you. I can wait as long as you want. I am ready to do whatever you say, me and my mom, we both like you.”

"But I thought you were working in Bangalore."

"I am working there, but I came to my college for a get-together. My juniors insisted I join them and I am glad I did."

I was so shy, that I was unable to look at him, but I mustered up all the courage I had and looked at him.

He had brown eyes and black messed-up hair. His eyes were big, with long eyelashes, and his lips were small and red.

He was pretty fair and was looking at me with a broad smile. I looked back at the floor and he laughed. His laugh was so attractive.

His mother asked me to sing a song and I sang an old Bollywood song, Tu jaha jaha chalega, mera saaya saath hoga(wherever you are going, my shadow will follow you)

I don’t know why I sang that song, but the moment I was finished, I looked at his face and he was staring at me.

“Rudra”. His mother shook him and he woke up from his trance. I smiled and looked back at the floor.

“Thanks for the song. I really wish I could hear you for a lifetime.” He sat in his car with these words and the moment he left everyone started asking their questions.

“So, how was he?” “Do you like him now?” “What should we say to them?”

I said nothing, just looked at my mom, nodded my head, and went inside the room.

I closed the door and felt my heartbeat. It was beating so loud; I could hear it say “Is this an attraction? Am I attracted to him? Is this how we feel?”

I blushed at the thought and covered my face with my palms.

They came back after 3 days and their parents gave me a few gifts. He exchanged a ring with me and we announced that we are now engaged and will get married once I am ready.

His sister came and asked for my phone number.

“I don’t have a mobile phone. I don’t like it.”

“Well, in that case, let me give this to you.” I looked at the package and it had a mobile phone.

“No, didi. I can’t take it.”

“You will take it. I asked your mom and dad and they told me that you don’t have a mobile phone. You don’t like it. But you see that i***t over there?” She signaled toward Rudra and I blushed seeing him.

“He really wants to talk to you. He is dying to talk to you. Please.”

I nodded and took the phone from her.

I had to leave for my college the next day, so I went for some shopping in the evening. My phone rang. It was an unknown number.

“Hi, is it Sonali?”

My heart skipped a beat realizing it was him over the phone.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing. I came to buy some clothes for myself. Jeans and t-shirt.”

“Where are you?”

“I am at Infinity Mall.”

“Wait there, I am coming there in 5 minutes.”

Wait, what? Is he coming here? My heart started beating faster.

“No, it’s ok. I am already done. I am just paying.”

“I don’t want you to pay. I am coming.”

“Don’t spoil me.”

“I want to spoil you, now and for the rest of my life.”

I blushed hard and disconnected the call. I didn’t know if he was really coming or not, so I started roaming the mall. I told myself if he would come in 15 minutes, I would meet him. If not, I will leave for college.

I was about to leave when I saw him entering the mall. He was wearing a light blue shirt and jeans. He was looking in all directions and then his eyes landed on me.

He ran towards me and for a moment I thought he would come and hug me. But he stopped on time and chuckled when he saw I was smiling. We sat at a local coffee shop and decided to talk for some time.

“So, you are leaving for your hostel?”

“Yes. I don’t want to miss classes.”

“Are you always so disciplined?”

“No, I am not. But this is my final year and I don’t want my grades to fall.”

“Well, I will try to make sure that your grades don’t fall, but I would love for you to fall… For me.”

We sat for some more time and then he dropped me at the bus stop. I reached my hostel and Smita told me that Vaibhav was very upset. I expected it because the moment I saw Rudra, I sent a message to Vaibhav saying, I don’t want to break your heart, but you promised me you would not force me. I want you to remember this when I tell you about someone I met.

“What do you mean, you can't talk to me?”

“I mean it, I can’t talk to you anymore. I am engaged.”

“What!!! No. It’s not possible. You are kidding, right? You are in your final year. You still have 7 months of college left.”

“I know and he is going to wait for me. It’s not like I am getting married today.”

“I would have waited for you as well, I would have waited for a lifetime, but you didn’t give me a chance.”

“Vaibhav, I never saw you as a lover and I told you. I will NEVER marry you. Please.”

“No, I can’t accept it. I love you damn it.”

“And that’s why you will have to accept that I am starting to like someone.”

“Why can’t you love me?”

“I… I don’t know." I disconnected the call and the next moment I was getting a call from Rudra. I looked at the screen once again and realized I was in the car and he was calling me.

"Dad, Rudra is calling me." My dad stopped the car to the side and both he and my brother-in-law looked at me with wide-open eyes.

"What are you going to do? Are you going to talk to him? Or disconnect his call?" He asked me but he didn't realize I was asking the same question to myself. What was I going to do?