Remember to Forget

Chapter 26

XAVIER

I laid in bed, thinking about the last 6 years I spent living my life recklessly.

I had enjoyed many different women, and enjoyed everything a single man could have ever dreamed of.

Ling Zhang was basically the only permanent person involved in my life at this moment.

We were lovers, but friends was the base of it all.

I had spent so much time with her, but I couldn't say I had any love for her.

Yes I felt bad towards the way I treated her and made use of her but in the end she was easy to leg go off.

My mind drifted to Jia Xia.

How was it possible that she had married and had children and moved on in 6 years time, and I was still at the same place she left me.

I wondered what her husband was like, who he was and how he treated her.

Was she happy?

My father told me she had two boys.

I knew that the elders weren't wrong, the right wife was very important in life and the fact she has given someone else a family and a heir to continue his blood line was the proof.

My mind kept trying to understand were I was in life.

My heart kept saying I was still attached to only her.

I needed to find a way to finally let go.

I called my friend from France Hayden Green, who specializes in psychology and asked for his advice.

He told me I was in luck as he was visiting some family in Shanghai and he would like to see me personally before giving any suggestions.

I agreed and we set an appointment for the day after tomorrow.

I needed to get my life back and under control.

Its just after ten when I see a message pop uo on my phone.

I set my document down and opened the message.

Its my from Hayden, he was at the local psychology clinic and wanted me to come and see him there.

I checked my schedule and than called Ling to reschedule our meeting for lunch.

I arrived at the clinic around 1.

I was walking to the reception when I saw Ha-bin.

This was the last person I wanted to meet today or any day.

He was standing with Hayden...

Wjat was going on.

I walked over and met Hayden.

"Hayden, nice to see you, long time no see Ha-bin..."

I turned and said to Ha-bin.

He was obviously surprised to see me.

"Xavier... I was hoping to never see you again, but it seems fate had other plans..."

He said than place both his hands in his pockets.

We looked at each other and i guess Hayden could sense the tension between.

"Um, Ha-bin we will schedule an appointment for Miss Ying in two weeks time, but until than please avoid anything that would off set her emotions... You understand what I mean right..."

He said and Ha-bin just Nodded.

Theu shook hands and Ha-bi walked away.

" Miss Ying... Is that his wife or... "

Hayden smiled.

" I think its best be discussed your problem first... "

He said and invited me to his office.

" Please have a seat...

"

I sat down.

"So Xavier, you mentioned that you are still struggling to move past you failed marriage 6 years ago.. Right... Can you tell me a little about your ex wife, and what actually happened between you and her?"

I didn't want to speak about it but I knew I needed help.

I told him everything I could think of.

The marriage contract, my guilt over Bella's lost, the unacceptable situations I had put Jia Xia in and how finally everything just collapsed.

As I spoke i cried like a baby.

"Xavier, it seems it's the guilt of hurting someone you loved deeply that is keeping you from moving forward, and I think you still feel resentment towards her for leaving you.. may I suggest you start by understanding why it is you think you have the right to resent her, because from what i can tell she never did anything to earn your retirement, and her leaving was your inability to settle your past and give her what she deserves... You need to first let go of the resentment tying you to her before you will finally be able to move forward... Do you understand what I am saying... "

I knew everything he said was true but I didn't want to be the only one to blame.

" Hayden, is it not fare to resent someone who acted as if they loved you but than when things were hard abandoned you, and moved on as if you never even existed... "

Hayden looked confused.

"What do you mean when you say she moved on... Have you seen or heard from her in the past few years?"

I sighed.

"She recently came back and... And she is married and has two kids... Like.. From what I understand they are around 5 or 6 which meant she had moved on almost instantly after she left me... Does that make any sense... I mean..."

I was getting ferrous thinking about it.

" Xavier have you ever considered that maybe she was having and affair during your marriage...? "

I was shocked at this words.

I got uo in anger.

" Are you out of you f*****g mind... Jia C

Xia isn't that kind of person, she never looked at anyone but me... She only loved me.."

He smiled.

He was a strange one.

" Xavier... Are you telling me Jia Xia Ying... Is your ex wife..?"

What?

He knows her.

Did Ha-bin tell him.

Is that why he was here, but how...

" Xavier, get out of your own mind, Jia Xia is Miss Ying I was talking about before to Ha-bin, she seems to be suffering from psychological depression and anxiety disorder... She is the patient I came to see on behalf of my uncle who is a family friend of theirs... I don't know if I should be telling you this, but because I think you're both the cause of the others illness..."

He said and took a deep breath.

" I think your wrong about alot of things in regards to her and what she has been doing over the last 6 years... "

What was he saying...

He wasn't making any sense.

" Xavier, let's do this... Why don't you start a new... Forget anything you think you know and start from the top...

If you think you can't move on without Jia Xia, than start over... Find out what it is you can improve in you than will win her back..."

He finally said something that made sense.

But wait she is married.

" Hayden, I just told you she is married?"

He smiled.

" do you think I would send you after a married women?... "

Was he saying what i think he was saying?

She isn't married?

Than the two kids?

I got excited.

My mind though of all the possible answers.

Maybe they weren't her biological children.

That makes sense.

Maybe she just wanted a family so bad she adopted them.

I might still have a chance to make things right.

Finally there was light at the end of the tunnel.