MACJ lV

CHAPTER 4: RESPONDING THE UNKNOWN

I don’t face things I can, well do face things I rather can do…. I hate the fact that Im fooling with you around, nor trick any of this by treat.. It is not a war, for exp laners, or golden roles… I am literally dropped, all the guns of you, is still down as how I am already tired on defending my own good… If loving you is painful, then I would rather not…. If loving you is to sacrifice, I would rather be…. I hate I perform in your silhouette, nor being a doll that you have…. If I leave, it is because you’re not safe with me, and either am I to you??????????? I onced told you, fly and reach the clouds, but I didn’t dare to look farther, Im pushing you, do your best, be your best, but you don’t even notice………. Why?? Because you used too… Your mother was right, you loved me…….. but you cant fight to keep me, AM I BEING TOO SELFISH? OR YOU BECAME BLIND TO FEEL… Im lossing ammos, yet yu don’t care, you focused on things that arent for you… I ….hate you, but Im just kidding myself.

Cinammon, I am once………..

Someone said…. “ Will you still be the Carmela I know? I hope you are..” I may be in hurt, I may be breaking into pieces, nor be the best person you ever had… Let me tell you, Im hating, but I didn’t dare to give half or whole to you, Im sad but it doesn’t mean I will treat you the same.. I rather be chaos, but I still recognize you.. I am bad temper, but it doesn’t mean I give you any that bothers me.. It is not fair, to give even a percent of what Im feeling, I admit…. I can endure the pain, but I can hold it more…. I know it hurts, especially me, feeling it under my soul, but do you think the best way is to give it to you??? You are valuable to me, and yes, Im still the same Carmela you know, the bright, lovely, chaotic and burning torch you have.. I still give way, for others to glow, because they believe in me……… I loved too much, and I didn’t regret I did….. One day I will go back, and start it again, but the right one, but the better version of mine…

Chaosity won, and I loss him… Does it matter no more???