Secrets

Coke

A/N I'm sorry, I didn't f*****g know a better name for this chapter.

Roger's POV

'Ever had cocaine before?'

I raise my eyebrows at him.

'Uhh...no.'

'Really? You should totally try some. I've got some really good s**t. I promise you'll love it.' He seems genuinely surprised that I've never had coke. I don't really know why I haven't, I've just always been too scared I guess.

But why the hell not? I know Freddie takes some every once in a while and he hasn't died from it yet, so I guess it's kind of safe. And I'm already f****d up and drunk, might as well get more f****d up.

'Hell f*****g yeah, I'll try some.' I crack into a grin.

'Come with me.' He says, that mischievous smirk still on his face. I follow him to a dark little door somewhere in the back of the bar. He opens it as it leads into a small corridor that has a bit of an eerie feel to it. Okay, maybe this wasn't a good idea after all. I barely know Evan and know I'm alone with him in this creepy little corridor to get coke or something. He opens another door on the right side of the corridor which leads to a stairway, with yet another door at the top.

'Dude, where the f**k are we going?'

'Oh, don't worry. A friend of mine lives there.' He says, referring to the door at the top of the stairs. 'We kinda deal coke and stuff together.'

'Wait, he lives above a bar? Is he fuckin' crazy? Doesn't he go mad because of the loud noises all the time?' I laugh.

'I know right! But he's almost never home and today isn't an exception.' He looks at me over his shoulder and winks. I smirk at him. He digs up a key from one of his pockets, opens the door and steps into what I expect to be the living room. It's not very big and it's quite messy, but everything is better than spending one more night sleeping in a car. There's a table against the wall opposite the front door and a little kitchen area on the side.

'I know, most beautiful place ever.' Evan sarcastically says. 'I don't think he's ever cleaned since he started living here, which was last year. Well, not that it really matters when he's never home.' He shrugs.

'A year? Oh dear lord.' I laugh, thinking about how I always had to tell Brian to clean up his room when we all lived together back in the late 60s. This place is even worse, believe it or not.

'Okay, this way.' He opens the door to something that looks like a broom closet, but he when moves around some of the stuff in it a few boxes appear. They're filled with little zip lock bags that have white powder in them. He grabs one of them, together with a piece of paper from another corner of the closet.

'So uhh...how does this work?' I ask.

'Uhm, I think we'll start with 1/8 gram first, since it's your first time and I don't want you to...die, basically.'

'Oh no, that would be very unfortunate indeed, since we have some...stuff...to do later.' I smirk at him.

'Exactly.' He kisses me and grabs a handful of my ass, making me squeak a little.

'We'll do the coke in the bedroom, it's usually cleaner there for when he has one night stands.' He rolls his eyes, laughing.

'I guess everyone has their own priorities.'

When we enter the bedroom it's indeed a lot tidier, there's even a perfectly made king size bed. What the f**k. It actually looks nice here. Evan empties the contains of the ziplock bag onto the nightstand and makes lines with the piece of paper. 

'Okay, so this won't feel too amazing in your nose at first, obviously, but it's worth it. Trust me.' He rolls the paper into a tube and takes his line. Then he pulls a bit of a cringe face, wipes his nose and sighs in satisfaction. 'Your turn.'

'Promise I won't die?'

'Yes I promise! I know what I'm doing, okay. Don't worry.' He exclaims, laughing.

'You're drunk. And so am I. But okay.' I don't really have anything to stay alive for at the moment anyway, so why not. I kneel down, take the paper tube from Evan and take my line as well. Oh s**t, that feels horrible in my nose.

'Jesus f*****g Christ...' I groan. When I look up I see Evan sitting on the side of the bed, chuckling and looking very amused. 'f**k you.' I rasp. After a few seconds my nose feels okay again, thank god.

'Aww, no honey, f**k you.'

'Yes, I bet you'd like that, hmm?' I sit on his lap with my legs on either side of him. He immediately starts rocking our hips together. 'So when will I start to feel it?'

'Hmm, anywhere from five to thirty minutes. Depends on the person.'

'Okay. Hey, is there a shower here? I'm fuckin' dying for a shower.'

'There is, but you're only allowed to shower if you let me join you.' He looks at me with a wicked smirk.

'Oh you're already bossing me around, hmm? You like playing the boss?' I tease.

'I do, actually.' He rolls over and straddles me, looking down at me with a big grin on his face. 'So you better shut the f**k up before I'm gonna have to spank you.'

'Kinky.' I giggle. Evan shakes his head.

'That's enough.' He grabs me by my collar, pulls me up towards him and roughly kisses me on my lips to shut me up. 'Jesus, you're so f*****g gorgeous and sexy. I'm so f*****g hard. Feel.' He groans after he pulls back. He presses his crotch into mine and slowly starts to grind. I softly moan when I feel how hard he is, it's making me even harder and more turned on than I already was.

'f**k, Evan. I'm so excited to have that inside of me...' I breathe out, with my eyes closed.

'Yeah? You want me to f**k you hard?' His face is so close to me that when he speaks I can feel the vibrations against my lips. Jesus, we still have all of our clothes on and he already has me all worked up.

'Mmm, yes please...' I moan. He places a few kisses on my jaw.

'Do you want my c**k inside of you? Do you want me to fill you up and hit that special spot?' He whispers in my ear, as he grinds harder against me. I softly whimper at the sensation, not being able to answer him. 'Hmmm? Tell me.' He demands in a deep, sexy voice.

'I want nothing more.'

'Well then get your little ass in the shower right now before I explode already.' He grins. 'C'mon on.' I off of him and I follow him into the bathroom in the apartment.

'Hey, are you sure you really wanna do this?' Evan asks. He suddenly seems a completely different person. A lot less dominant and arrogant, and a lot sweeter. 'Because I mean, all the s**t you told me earlier...you're pregnant girlfriend...and...I don't know...the whole 'friends with benefits' thing with your best friend. You're sure you wanna...do s**t with me too?' He looks at me, slightly frowning. I pretend I don't hear what he's saying.

'Pfff, you're the one who made me fuckin' horny and gave me coke, so it's all your fault.' Evan's jaw drops.

'Oh, now you're gonna blame me? You're just a horny little slut, aren't you...' He grins.

'Shut the f**k up and kiss me.' He immediately does. I close my eyes and try to really enjoy the moment and forget about everything around me, but it's like I keep missing something. Of course, Evan is a great kisser, but...I miss that little extra perk or spark of excitement that I feel when I'm with Freddie. I guess that's because I'm really f*****g in love with Freddie and not with Evan. Freddie is f*****g special. I could never live without him. Yet here I am, snogging this random dude to try and forget about him...

Why must love be so complicated and painful?

I wrap my arms around Evan and kiss him harder, intenser, trying to push all the thoughts and feelings away.

'f**k, I want you Roger. Right. Now.' Breathing heavily and pressing his boner into mine.

'Well then f*****g go ahead.' I say, gently rubbing his c**k through his pants. He softly moans and starts placing a trail of kisses down my neck, taking his time to lick, suck and bite my skin. Oh f**k, I love being kissed on my neck. Everything there is so f*****g sensitive. I run my fingers through his hair and shiver with pleasure when his lips reach a spot at the base of my throat.

'That feels so good...' I breathe out. He sucks and bites that spot until I can feel my skin tingling.

'Look at that. That's a nice hickey.' Evan says, with a very smug look on his face. I smirk at him.

'You already branded me?'

'Yes. You're mine now.' He arrogantly says.

'I'm yours? You greedy little shit.' I tease.

'Shut your pretty little mouth, Roger, or I won't be so gentle with you.' I feel his hot breath on my face.

'Oh, that's okay. I like it rough.' I put my most innocent face on and look up at him.

'f**k, quit turning me on so much cuz I'll c*m already. You're getting punished so hard for this, just warning you.'

'I'm getting punished? For what? Making your d**k hard?' I continue playing innocent and let my hands wander down to his crotch again. He slightly thrusts into my touch.

'Do you really have to get a shower? I don't wanna wait any longer.' He groans.

'Yes, I definitely do. And I know you wouldn't mind joining me to get me nice and worked up, would you?' I slightly tilt my head.

'As if you're not already f*****g hard.' He chuckles.

'Your fault.' I whisper, my lips extremely close to his. I can feel them brush against me every time one of us speaks.

'I know. So we're gonna get in the shower right now, have a little fun and then I'm gonna f**k the s**t out of you...sounds good?' He thrusts his c**k into my inner thigh, making me feel like I'm gonna pass out from arousal.

'Mmm...yeah.' I breathe out. He slides his hands underneath my shirt and gently rubs the side of my stomach. His hands are so nice and warm. How does he do that? My hands are always freezing, no matter how warm it is.

I grab his ass and pull him closer to me, the warmth and pressure from his d**k against my thigh intensifying while he still has his hands all over my torso. f**k, I can literally feel the heat through his pants. His whole body has this nice soothing warmth in it.

He gently bites my bottom lip, making it all red and puffy.

'You wanna f**k me so bad? Then f*****g do it, stop teasing already you asshole.' I giggle.

'You stop being so damn sexy.' He bites his lip and pulls my shirt over my head. His jaw slightly drops as he looks at my bare upper body. 'Oh, look at you. You look so good.' Ah, it feels good to have someone tell me that. I might be a bit arrogant sometimes. 

I smirk and pull him into another heated kiss, my hands cupping his face and his hands wandering over my torso as he devours me just as hungrily as I'm him. I moan into his mouth when he starts to walk me to the wall next to the shower. He roughly pushes me against it and kisses my neck again. I let out an appreciative moan when he bites my skin and I automatically start to unbutton his shirt as well. He helps me pull the damn thing over his head and I take a second to look at his body. He's definitely skinnier than Freddie, but he still looks good.

He looks into my eyes with a wicked smirk on his face and starts to very slowly and teasingly unzip my pants, never breaking the eye contact. I impatiently sigh.

'Ohh, hurry up your fucker.'

'I'll only go slower when you say stuff like that, honey.' He chuckles.

'Pfff, like you're not f*****g hard yourself. Like you don't wanna f**k the s**t out of me right now. Hmm?'

'Shut up.' He pulls my pants down until they're pooling around my ankles, revealing my boxers with a painfully stiff c**k in them. 'Aww, look at you. All hard and horny for me.' He whispers as he wraps his arms around me and softly kneads my ass.

'You shut up.' I grin.

'You're so sexy, you little shit.'

'Oh are you gonna talk s**t to me now? You like talking s**t to me?' I press my boner into his inner thigh and he bites his bottom lip hard.

'I do.'

'Yeah? You think that's hot? Telling me what a piece of s**t I am and making me your w***e?'

'Do you want me to make you my w***e? Cuz I would f*****g love that.'

'f*****g do it then. Show me what you've got.' I rub his d**k through his pants again, a little aroused whimper leaving his mouth.

'First of all, you gonna have to stop talking to me like that, thinking you f*****g own me or something. Second of all, I'm obviously not gonna give you what you want that easily. You're gonna have to work for it first. So you better f*****g get on your knees right now.'

I obey, maybe a little intimidated by his sudden outburst of dominance, but also incredibly turned on by it. He's honestly starting to remind me of Freddie even more.

Oh Freddie... how I wish it's his d**k I'm about to suck. How I wish I would've never fallen in love with him. But how do you control or stop something like that? Or at least I just shouldn't have acted on my feelings. But...oh right...Freddie kissed me first. So is it all his fault then? No, because I still could've stopped it after that. But realistically I never could've stopped.

I miss him so f*****g much. I don't know how I'm gonna cope with not being friends with him anymore. Because after everything that's happened between us I don't think we could ever have a normal friendship again and that fact scares the s**t out of me. I think my friendship with Freddie is the most valuable thing I've ever had in my whole entire life and now it's just...gone.

I think I've always just loved him so much in a 'friendship way' that it slowly turned into 'in love' and into an urge to physically show him how much I love him.

And now he apparently thinks I didn't mean any of it. That I'm not really in love with him.

Oh f**k, if only he f*****g knew.

Oh god Roger, don't you f*****g dare start crying right now. I take a deep breath, push everything away to the back of my mind and focus on the here and now again.

I'm still f*****g turned on and there's still a pretty hot guy in front of me, so might as well take advantage of it.

I'll just close my eyes and imagine it's Freddie.

Evan unzips his pants and I pull them down. My heart starts racing with excitement when I look at him wearing just boxers. I look up to him for permission to take them off as well. He's breathing heavily already, his chest rising and falling quickly and his mouth slightly hanging open.

'Jesus f*****g Christ Roger, what are you waiting for?' He raises his eyebrows at me. I'll take that as a yes and pull down his boxers. His d**k points straight at my lips, so I can't help but quickly flick my tongue against the tip. Evan slightly gasps. This is why I love giving so much, I love knowing that I can make people c*m, that I have that effect on them. It's kind of an ego boost, you know.

Evan's d**k is very long, but thinner than Freddie's. Oh always Freddie, Freddie, Freddie. I can't seem to escape thinking about him. He just pops up in my mind constantly.

I take Evan's d**k into my hand and stroke it a few times.

'That's a beautiful cock.' I smirk up at him.

'And I like feeling your hands on it.' He smirks back.

'Yeah? I like feeling it in my hands...'

'I bet you'll like it even better when it's in your mouth.' He runs his fingers through my hair.

'You think so?' I tease, knowing that he's really desperate to get me to touch him.

'Yes, I think so. So f*****g suck it.' He grabs the back of my head and roughly shoves me into his c**k, causing me to make some kind of weird choking noise cuz it happened so suddenly. 'The more you choke, the more I like it.' He growls. Both of his hands are on the back of my head now, guiding it back and forth in a fast pace while thrusting into my throat. I grab his hips and dig my nails into them, trying to breathe through my nose and keep it together.

I can't really breathe, my eyes are starting to water and I feel like I'm completely out of control, but I f*****g love it. This is so hot. I love being treated this roughly. This is the kind of stuff that I can never do with Dominique, with her I'm the dominant one most of the time. But Freddie, and now Evan too, opened up a whole other side of me.

From what I can hear Evan is really into it too, his moans growing louder with every second.

'f**k baby...that feels so good...' He breathes out. After about thirty seconds he pulls out of me and I immediately gasp for breath. He rubs his d**k against my lower lip and I look up at him, breathing heavily, tears falling from my eyes because they're watering so much, lips covered in my own spit...

'I love it...' I softly say.

'I knew you would, you little f*****g slut. Stand up.' He cups my face with his hands and crushes his lips onto mine. 'Roger, how about...' He lifts my chin up with one hand. 'You get in the shower and give me a little show, and I sit back and watch...' He says in a seductive voice.

'You really do have amazing ideas.' I smirk. 

Freddie's POV

A/N I found out that I apparently cannot get myself to write smut if it's not Froger (LMFAO) so we're continuing from Freddie's point of view for now so that I don't have to write the smut. I'm so smart, I love myself. I hope you don't mind this, but I don't think you do because honestly who wants to read smut if it's not Froger. Not me.

It's, like, 2AM and I'm incredibly awake. I don't know if I was too hard towards Roger this afternoon. Did I hurt him? How could I hurt him if I was right? If he's really not in love with me? If he just wanted to f**k around with a guy for a change and that's it? Why didn't he respond when I said that I didn't wanna continue things between us? Does that mean that he's okay with it, or was he too scared or hurt to say anything back? I definitely have real feelings for him, but what about him? He's told me he is in love with me before, was he lying? Would he do that to me?

Fuck.

These endless questions have been keeping me awake for hours now.

You know what I'm craving right now? Some f*****g coke. But I probably don't have any in my house right now. So that means that I'd have to go get some. But I don't want to move. But I do want coke. Fuuuuuck. I don't even know if Dylan (the dealer I usually get my stuff from) is home he tends to go out quite a lot. But he works together with this other guy, so maybe he can help me. Never met him before though.

Okay, I'm gonna call Dylan.

I drag myself out of bed, get my phone and dial Dylan's number. Nothing. Let's try the number of the bar he's usually at when he isn't home.

The owner of the bar picks up the phone, so I ask him if Dylan's there.

'Oh I don't f*****g know. He's always here so I guess...wait lemme...Oh I see him. DYLAN! SOMEONE ON THE PHONE FOR YOU!' Damn, I don't need someone yelling in my ear like that at 2 in the f*****g morning.

'Who the f**k is this?' Dylan says.

'Well hello to you too, fucker. It's Freddie, darling.'

'Oh Freddie! Haven't heard from you in a long time, what have you been up to?'

'Yeah I know, I'm sorry. Just been busy, ya know.' With Roger.

'Busy, hmm? With what?' I can hear that's he's clearly f*****g drunk. But did he read my f*****g mind or something?

'Ugh you can be so annoying and nosy. Just f**k off already.' I laugh.

'So I'm right? Who is it? Do I know her?'

'Her?'

'Wait, what?' f**k, did I never tell him I'm gay?

'Uhh...I...didn't...tell you?' I stutter.

'Tell me what?'

'That I'm gay.'

'Oh, okay.'

'Okay?' I laugh.

'Yeah. You know, I really don't care if you like d***s or p*****s or both on neither or whatever. It's all the same to me. Just do what makes you happy.'

'Wow, I don't think anybody has ever reacted like that. Everyone was shocked or whatever.'

'Really?' He laughs. 'Shocked? That's a bit exaggerated if you ask me.'

'Well, thank you for not freaking out, I guess.'

'Oh, no big deal. So do I know him?' What the f**k? I need a minute to process that he really doesn't care I'm gay. That has truly never happened before. But still, can he stop being so childish and annoying?

'Stop behaving like a twelve-year-old girl. I called you for coke, not to talk about dicks.' I laugh.

'Right. Let's talk about the serious business.' He chuckles. 'How much do you want?'

'Dunno, just a gram I think?'

'Okay, that'll be 80 pounds but because it's you I'll make it 50. Can you come here to get it?'

'Aww, you're such a sweetie. But I'm not going anywhere.' I purr.

'f**k you. I'm not going anywhere either.' He chuckles.

'You're the shittiest dealer ever.'

'Because I just gave you a f*****g sale?'

'No, cuz you're making me leave my house at 2 in the morning.'

'If you want my coke, which I know you do, you're gonna have to come get it. That's how it works. Deal with it.' He laughs.

'Okay, f**k you, but I'll be there in ten minutes.'

'Bye Freddie.' I can almost see the smug look on his face. Lazy asshole. But okay, I want my coke, so I'm gonna have to get it myself. But I just don't wanna be in any kind of social situation right now. I stuff the money in the pocket of my coat, rush to my car and drive to the bar.

A/N I know that's not realistic cuz Freddie never got his driving license so he could never drive his own car obviously but it's more convenient to write and it's still a fanfiction so yeah.

When I enter the bar almost everyone is gone already, thank god. Just a few relatively old men sitting at the bar together with some drinks. All young people probably left a long time ago to go to clubs and stuff. I see Dylan sitting behind the bar, chatting to some people, but when he sees me he immediately rushes over tome. I feel a wave of anxiousness go through me, because even though he seemed really cool about the fact that I'm gay over the phone, but you never know if he's gonna kick my ass now or not. I've come out a few times to different people, but I don't think I'll ever really get used to it. I don't care that I'm gay, but not everyone thinks about it like that, you know.

'Hey. C'mon, I have the stuff in my apartment.' Evan says.

'What? You had ten minutes to go and get it while I was driving here, but your lazy ass stayed at that f*****g bar getting even drunker?' I laugh, shaking my head.

'I was...I was talking to them ever there.' He nods his head towards the bar. 'And maybe I had another drink.'

'Yes, I can f*****g tell.'

'Besides, you're the lazy ass here. My apartment is literally above this bar, so all we have to do is walk up some f*****g stairs. Okay, come on now.' He starts walking to a door in the corner of the bar, through the narrow aisle behind it, and up the stairs on the right until we're standing in front of the door to his apartment. He digs through his pockets.

'Whoops, I don't know where my keys are...' He mutters.

'Are you kidding me?'

'But maybe the door is still open.' He tries it, and thank god, it is still open. 'Oh shit...' He whispers. My heart drops when I look into his apartment too.

Right there, in the middle of the living room is Roger, bend over a table, being pounded by a guy I've never seen before, and from the looks of it having one hell of an orgasm.