Ikaw Pa Rin (He Robbed My Heart Book 2)

Chapter 3

Isang buwan na ang lumipas simula ng makalabas ako sa hospital binigyan pa kasi ako ng pahinga ng doctor bago ako pumasok ulit.

Wala akong ginawa kundi ang magmukmok dito sa kwarto ko. Kahit anong gawin ng mga ate ko, ni Sharm at Brandon na yayain ako lumabas para malibang ay hindi nila ako mapilit. Hindi pa ako handa sariwa pa din kasi sa utak ko ang mga alaala ko sa sinasabi nila na panaginip lang daw. Hindi ko pa rin tanggap na wala lang ang mga ito halos lahat ay naalala ko pa.

Ngayon aalis ako kasama si Sharm ayaw ko man to’ pero gagawin ko pati kasi sila Inay ay nagaalala na sa akin. First time ko imi-meet ang psychologist na nirecommend ng doctor ko to talk about my case.

“Bebe andiyan na si Sharm.” Nagulat ako ng sumulpot si Ate Myles sa likod ko kasalukuyan kasi ako nakatulala sa salamin at nagsusuklay.

“Sige ate pakisabi bababa na ako” umalis naman kaagad si Ate at bumaba na.

Kinuha ko ang pouch ko at huminga muna ng malalim bago ako lumabas ng kwarto. Ngayon na lang ako ulit makakalanghap ng hangin sa labas pinakamalayo na napuntahan ko na ay ang sala namin bihira pa yun pag ka sinipag lang ako manood ng tv.

“Hi bes, you look pretty in your dress” bungad sa akin ni Sharm at nagbeso-beso kami.

“Thanks bes ikaw din ang ganda ganda mo ngayon.” Puna ko sa kanya, simple lang si Sharm sa light blue dress niya pati light lang ang make up niya compare sa itsura niya sa panaginip ko noon. Sana maging totoo yung panaginip ko about her. Nang maging successful model siya.

“Dapat sasama si Kuya Rico sabi ko wag na mang-gugulo lang siya doon.” Aniya, andito na kami sa kotse niya at kasama si Manong Roger ang driver nila.

“Sana sinama mo na lang baka nabobored lang yun.” Sagot ko, gusto ko din makita si Rico. May gusto kasi ako itanong sa kanya at maconfirm.

Saglit lang ang biyahe namin dahil tapos na ang rush hour sa ayala. Pagdating namin sa hospital ay agad kaming tumungo sa office ng magiging psychologist ko.

“Good morning ladies, I’m doctor Suzie Cruz. Please sit down.” Bungad sa amin. Tinanong ako ni Sharm if okay lang na andito siya at sumang-ayon naman ako na okay lang she’s my one and only bestfriend and I want her to know what I’m going through right now.

“Hi doc good morning din. I’m Cham and this is Sharm my bestfriend.”

“So let’s start, I will let you talk first. I will ask you bunch of questions and from then I will see what I can do to help you. Okay?” malambing na sabi niya. Medyo may edad na ang doctor ko pero mukhang magaan ang aura niya sa akin at mukhang mapagkakatiwalaan naman siya for me to share what I had when I’m still in coma.

“Okay po.” I answered with conviction, I’m not yet prepared to forget about my dreams but I think I need to do it step by step from now on. Hopefully hindi masyadong masakit ang process na gagawin niya sa akin.

“First, as per my record here you are an Accountant in a newspaper publishing company and before the accident you were actually about to fetch your bestfriend in the airport right?” tanong nito at tumango lang ako as a sign na it’s correct.

“Do you remember that moment before the accident?”

“Actually no” umiiling na sagot ko. Medyo matagal ang next question niya mukhang may sinusulat siya regarding my answer.

“Okay, now narrate to me what you can remember from your dreams.” She asked, napasinghap ako at napapikit. Madaming alaala ang nagbabalintanaw at hindi ko alam paano sisimulan.

“I know how it feels don’t rush yourself, breathe in breathe out. You can tell it whenever you’re ready.” Patuloy niya napansin niya siguro ang biglang pagka-aligaga ko.

Naramdaman ko naman ang paghagod ni Sharm sa likod ko. “Relax bes, I’m just here beside you.”

“I never had a boyfriend and Ellsworth is my first.” Umpisa ko, I never open my eyes again. I want it close so I can tell them all that I can remember.

“In my dreams, he was all my firsts. My first love and my first pain, in my dream it lasted like six years. Six years full of happiness, loneliness, regrets and mostly in that six years I had a four years old baby named Chelsea. The most wonderful thing that happened to me”

“But there’s no perfect relationship, me and Ellsworth been through a lot of trials. Before I met him I became a victim of mistaken identity and someone kidn*pped me and r***d me.” Dahan-dahan na sabi ko. Hindi na ako nasasaktan everytime I will tell this, because before pa lang ako magising ay pinatawad ko na siya.

“Oh my god bes” I heard Sharm whispered it.

“That r****t and Ellsworth are the same, it’s very hard to accept it at first but time heals and our love for each other heals all the wounds he cause me.”

“Si Chelsea ang bunga ng pagmamahalan namin” I continue, but when it really comes to Chelsea I really can’t help but to be emotional. Kung panaginip man ang lahat ang nagka-anak ako ang hindi ko makakalimutan. I can still remember the time I bear him in my tummy, how she grew up and became a beautiful little girl. I can still remember how she looks like. I so miss her.

Unti-unti ng dumadaloy ang mga luha ko remembering the times I had with my Chelsea.

“The last thing I remember before I wake up in this reality is when Ellsworth died. Oo pinanalagin ko na magising ako sa isang masamang panagip at hindi totoo na iniwan na ako ni Ellsworth but I did not wish for this. Hindi ko ginusto na tuluyan sila mawala sa buhay ko.” Ang sakit na naman, I opened my eyes at nakita ko ang doctor na titig na titig sa akin, I also look at Sharm at parang hindi siya makapaniwala sa mga lahat ng narinig niya.

“If I can come back to that dream, mas pipiliin ko po na doon na lang ako. I feel so miserable right now, wala na si Ellsworth wala pa si Chelsea.” Patuloy ang paghikbi ko, lumapit sa akin si Doctor Suzie at hinawakan ang dalawang kamay ko at hinimas ito.

“Cham, this is a very very very rare case. I never deal with this kind of case for my entire 25 years with my profession. I can see in your eyes how deeply hurt you are right now. Being in coma for two months and the people around you are losing hope of you recovering is truly a miracle and it means that it is your second chance to make all things right.”

“I believe in God and I think with your case what happen to you happens because he has something better for you. I know it’s hard to forget about it, but you need to help yourself. Maybe because Ellsworth died in your dreams because maybe you know, someone will come along your way much better than him.”

Better than him

No one can replace Ellsworth in my heart thats all I know. More tears falls in my eyes. The fact that I will have another man in my life I just can’t imagine it. Until now all I want is him.

“Mas maganda pa ang nagka-amnesia compare sa case mo ngayon Cham. With amnesia you will forget things that really happened. But what you have right now is what we called false memories, refer to the recollection of inaccurate details of an event, or recollection of a whole event that never occurred.” She explained.

FALSE MEMORIES

Ganoon lang yun? Lahat ay hindi totoo. Pero paano?

Paano ko makakalimutan ang lahat ng false memories ko if all of that feels like real?

Lahat-lahat ng naranasan ko sa mahabang panaginip ko na yun ay pawang mga katotohanan para sa akin. Ang gusto ko lang naman kung talagang nasa realidad na ako ngayon at pilit nilang igigiit na ito ay lahat ay panaginip ay kung paano?

Paano ako mag mo-move on?

Where will I start? How will I forget all of these. Ang hirap..