The demon within: The day I met my first baby's dad
822 Words
so like I said on the chapter before I started using for about a year after loses my baby I was on a roll I was up for about a week I lost my ID I need to go get another one and someone also wanted a lot of pills so I went on the chat line to see if anybody could hook me up with 20 pills And yep someone hit me up and said of course I can, meet me over here at that time I still in my car but I lived at my mom's house I drove over there but I didn't bring any money with me, thank God because there plan was his friend was going to rob me but he didn't let it go down he said he couldn't he seen the good in me we hung out that day me him and his friend went to the store just hung out kicked it his friend was weird to this day I still remember how weird he was so I told him why don't we get rid of your friend and we just hang out he didn't want to at first he said that would be messed up but after a while hanging out with me his friend had something to do anyways so he just dropped him off somewhere and we hung out and from that day he stayed at my parents house until he made me get a job and move out because he said I was too old to be living at my parents house he drank a lot you see he drink from the time you got up and the time we went to bed but he wouldn't let me use so I didn't and we were together for 6 years first 3 years it was okay I would be driving around a lot I would be sitting in the car for hours while he would go hang out with his friends but I'm okay with that I'm the type your friends are your friends I don't need to be hanging out with your friends they knew who I was but they left me alone so after 3 years of being together I found out I was pregnant I was excited I thought he was too later I found out he didn't even think it was his but I knew for a fact I wasn't going to get rid of this baby so I ended up getting diabetes and they induced me two weeks after my due date at the hospital they ended up breaking my water and my baby's heart rate went down so I thought I was going to lose another baby I start freaking out and my baby's dad hates hospitals so he wasn't even in there so I was by myself with the oxygen mask on I ended up having my son he was fine 7 lb 15 oz my baby was by my hip He's my first born and I will always have that connection with him He's my protector to this day. and when I said my baby is by my hip but I meant he was by my hip I didn't let him sleep by himself and let him sleep right next to me the first time me and his dad ended up doing something it was when you six months after I had him and I got pregnant again this time it was a little different me and him were distant I'm not in affectionate person I don't know how to have people hold me and stuff like that it was very uncomfortable I don't kissing public I feel like it wasn't okay I don't hold hands I didn't do all that normal stuff that people do and my relationships never interested that they just thought I didn't want them so he ended up finding somebody that he could communicate with that he still with to this day I got a lot of love for her but a few times me and her had a few words about some things and two times I wasn't able to know where they lived because he didn't know what I was going to do but when he ended up leaving me I ended up getting a place with my two boys and I guess what the same thing happened again where I couldn't deal with it so I tried to cover it up and got high and that what I did at that time I had a car a place and was a manager at a*****e I was good for about a year then it all went down hill first someone says they are going to put beat in my car anf they would get me after work but then I got a call right when I was out of work that would change my world
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