Love is War

Chapter 5

We are near at the weapon center and we can hear heavy fire from there. I really hope that Kuro and the others are okay. The storage inside my car is not a problem since we can take care of it anytime and I really hope that we never encounter that crazy woman again. The car crashed at their gates and we infiltrated their base. The infrastructure where they are trapped is not that far from here so we can reach them quickly.

“Close your eyes,” John told me seriously and I can tell why. I closed my eyes and let the darkness overpower my vision. I squinted it so I can make sure that I can see nothing and I used both of my hands to cover my ears. There are too many people in front of us and the road inside is narrow.

I felt that the car got bumpier like we are running on a rocky road. I imagined that I am a child again with my father and my mother camping on a mountain while I am on tricycle that can be pushed. The terrain is very rocky and I am very happy to bond with them. I can see the smile to both of my parents and my heart is also filled with joy. This may not be true but this is my way so I can avoid that trauma attack again.

I have this mental illness where I see something that is related to the event that caused the trauma in my mind, even just a glimpse, everything will flashback in my mind. As if my soul travelled back in time but in reality, everything is just a hallucination unless someone will pull me back to reality. It’s making me crazy but what can I do? This may be a burden, and every one knew about it and they are helping me to get over it for years but I just can’t. In this whole trip I need to close my eyes since I’m sure that I can’t open my eyes, until I get outside of this car.

My body almost flew away when the car suddenly stopped, I can hear the wheels screeching ruining my imagination, but I tried my best to remain calm. This is why my father do not let me join the assault team and let me help from afar. If not for my shooting skills, I would not be here and I insisted since I felt insecure seeing people fight for our organization and when I inherit this business, I want to be someone where everyone respects me, not because of my name, but because of what I did in the past. Anyone can call this senseless pride, but I always try my best to overcome my trauma.

I want to prove something to my dad; I know that he lets me do things on my own because he pities me. I don’t want that but I can feel it from him even he will not admit that he is.

I felt that someone is boarding the car and I went down to cover myself from the bullets. Everything is dark so I cannot see what is happening but I will trust John on everything including my life. I assume that Kuro and his allies are here now as I felt the car rushed again and get bumpier. I can hear their curses and their struggle in battle. I really hope that I can help but I had enough for today. Just today I will admit that I cannot handle myself.

We are just lucky to avoid that crazy woman, I thought on that moment back there that everything is over and we will be caught by the Smiths. I don’t want dad to know but he has eyes everywhere and by the looks of me right now. Kuro can guess what happened to me. Everyone knows about my illness and they are just quite about it. I know that some are mocking me, why I got the title Shinigami that means the angel of death when I am afraid of death itself. Some are respecting me out of fear that my father will kill them. But Kuro and John, I can call them my friends. They are the ones who respects my condition and they are also the ones that recognizes my worth.

Moments later of being in darkness and deceiving myself with beautiful lies to avoid the harsh truth, I felt a hand on my shoulder. This is my cue that everything is okay now, this is John’s hand I assume. I lowered both of my hands that are covering my ears. Now I can hear everything clearly including their heavy breathing because of the battle earlier.

“It’s okay now, but don’t open your eyes,” he told me while his hands remain on my shoulder. I know, I will not open my eyes. I carry on with my imagination, I am sitting on a cliff where I can see a beautiful sunset with my mother from the border of the blue ocean. The orange sky mesmerizes me as the sea birds flew across the sea. I can see dolphins jumping out of the sea playing. “Get out now! Find the van that we left off here,” I heard John ordering Kuro’s men around. I felt their steps rushing outside the car.

“What happened?” Kuro asked John curiously with concern.

“The berserker went after us,” he answered.

“I see,” Kuro replied knowing what happened in the chase. We three are childhood friends so we can trust each other. “It’s good that you escaped her grasp because if you two didn’t, all of us are pretty screwed up right now,” he added.

“I don’t know what happened back there,” John admitted I can hear the curiosity in his voice. “I really don’t know, when Rei screamed, she backs down and I saw her standing still,” he added and I am surprised by that because I don’t have any idea that’s what happened. “She did not follow us after that,” said John.

“So, Rei’s scream startled the beast,” Kuro joked giggling a little. “I am pretty sure that she is confused why the angel of death screamed like a child back there,” and he burst out of laughter. I am used with this kind of jokes by Kuro since I know that being frank and harsh even when he is joking is his nature. Also, I know that he does not mean harm in those jokes.

“Stop that you i***t, this guy had enough for today,” John rebuked and I felt his hand again in my shoulder.

“The area is clear boss,” I heard one of Kuro’s men inform them at the current situation.

“Let’s get out of here before they found out that we are hiding here,” I heard Kuro and he steps out of the car. I felt it.

“Hold my hand Rei,” John’s hand disappeared above my shoulder and in darkness I navigated my hand to reach his hand. Like a blind man he will guide me out of this car when I reached his hands. I crossed over the seats to get out since this guy did not bother to get on my side in the car so I can easily get out. I got out and we walked for a while before I opened my eyes.

I was blinded by the light since I kept my eyes closed for a while. I closed my eyes again and I stopped on my feet to pay tribute on my lost car. I value my things. Oh wait. “John,” I called on him and he is pretty far ahead from me right now. He stopped on his feet and looks back. “Where is Rose?” I asked him and I know that he knows what I meant.

“One of Kuro’s men already delivered it on the van,” he replied and I was relieved that they did not forgot about my Rose. I carry on and reached the van where everyone is waiting for me. I get inside and they started to drive back to our base.

“That storage was empty,” Kuro started the discussion and we pay attention on him. “I smell something fishy with all of this,” he added. “I don’t know but something doesn’t feel right about that broker,” his eyes are as serious as ever. “What’s shocking is that we found out that place is actually their headquarters so there is no doubt why there are so many enemies in that place. The Smiths’ gang leaders are also there having a meeting,” said Kuro.

“I saw Don William being escorted when someone tipped the alarm,” I shared some information that I learned.

“The one who gave us this false information is getting on my nerves and I am starting to get suspicious,” he said angrily.  “We don’t know its identity except for your father and his ambassador,” he added.

“Let’s calm down for now and take a rest,” I said making him relax because in this situation he will go on a rage.

“I lost some of my men inside that house,” he said and my mouth was shut that instant I heard the bad news. I started to understand how he feels right now. I let him grieve and all of us inside the van remain quiet until we reach our headquarters.

This should be a lesson for all of us. All we got to do is to inform my father what happened back there and tell him that we shouldn’t trust the one who gave us all of the information. But one thing is for sure. A big war will rise soon between us and the enemies. I should prepare myself as well as everybody here.

We walked inside the house with defeat in our faces. We were tricked and we are devastated. Kuro and his men lost someone. In our group bond is the most treasured thing, that is why father let everyone to choose their own group.

We walked inside defeated and misery can be felt in our surroundings.