Zec (COMPLETE)

CHAPTER IX: Rebound

I forced myself to be with him even though I’m still in love with her… 

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Year 2004.

Since the day Milena and her girl became official, they spend all their time together almost everyday.From that day, my life became boring and mournful at times. There’s no color in my life if Milena’s not around.

Mostly, I satisfied myself watching Milena from afar.She’s happy and I should be happy for her. But, I can’t help to look away quickly whenever she’s with that brat. Seeing them together cause me to self-pity. I know they were being careful when they were at public places especially at our school who’s against same s*x relationships. But others with strong gay radar, still felt the s****l tension between them. Though it hurts,I prayed for the safety of their secret. I don’t want Milena to suffer ridicule in or out of the campus.

One time, I saw Milena’s mom at the grocery store. She said she’s not used to not seeing me around. I’m the person who’s always in their house when me and Milena became best of friends. We’re the ones whose hips were sticked together. I just smiled at her and made some alibis.

Our parents thought that we both met other group of friends and that made us far away from each other. But that Azzhole replaced me. She became the lover and the best friend of Milena! I wondered if Milena don’t get bored or suffocated at the clinginess of her exaggerated girlfriend!

That Azzhole exceeded the closeness I had with Mi before. For example,after school, Milena and I always have 2 hours of study session at their house or mine. And some weekends we also have bonding moments. But this b***h looks like she’s living with Milena! She’s always there even on special occasions!Did her parents never wonder where their daughter was? Is that why they spoiled their daughter so much? In exchange for their supposed-to-be family bonding time? I pity her in some way. Lucky for her, Milena’s parents were nice and generous people!

Today is their first anniversary. Milena told me that their official day is the day under that mango tree. I would never ever forget that! That’s the day when my heart shattered into pieces! Today is my first anniversary too…death anniversary of my broken heart.

During break time, I looked for them. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m getting used to my role as ‘The Martyr Best Friend’. I regretted having a glimpse of them. They were secretly making out at the corner of the dark hallway! Careless lovestruck teenagers! I heard them planning about their date tonight. I sighed. Oh, what a fitting way to celebrate my heart’s death anniversary!

I didn’t have the energy to attend my next classes. I went home and prepared my fancy clothes. I’m going to have a date tonight too! And will stalk the lovers! Oh yeah! I’m a stalker and a masochist! I texted Lan, the persistent guy since elementary school. He always asked me on a date but today I’ll give him a chance. I told him he needed to book a reservation on a restaurant near the cinema at 4 PM. I knew that Milena would prefer a nearby restaurant after they watched a movie.

Before 4 PM, Lan picked me up at our house. He drove us to the restaurant and I picked a table where you could easily spot the people who will enter the door but still hidden from their view. Lan kept talking about himself, but I kept on checking my watch and glancing at the door. I’m thinking that I chose the wrong place.

Ten minutes after 5 PM, I saw the two giddy lovestruck teenagers entered. Do they think they were being careful at their actions? If I’m a stranger and saw them, I will immediately think that there’s something romantic happening between them. 

I saw how happy Milena was. And I’m too selfish if I won’t let go of her. I needed to distract myself, so I would stop stalking them like a creep! I was interrupted at my own thinking when Lan held my hands. I looked at him and he smiled at me and said, “Frince. Are you okay? You’re in too deep in your thoughts.”

He’s somewhat good looking but he’s not Milena! I removed my hand from his grip.

 “I’m sorry Lan. I’m thinking about our Math homework. I’m mentally taking notes not to forget to do that later.”

Lame excuse! But he believed it!

“Don’t worry. I’ll help you do that later. We could do that, or we could do each other”, he said raising her eyebrows up and down suggestively.

This guy is such a pervert! Can’t he tell that I’m awkward with his s****l advances!

“How many times do I need to tell you that I don’t like you making unsavory jokes like that at me? You’re such a perv!”, I disgustingly said and frowned at him.

“I’m sorry. You know I’m just fooling around. I’m used to joke like this around my guy friends.”

“Don’t do it again or I’ll never talk to you ever!”

“Alright! Take a chill pill, woman!”, he said and laughed. Then he asked, “What made you agreed to be my date today?”

“Nothing. Are you not happy that we’re dating now?”

“Does it mean, you agreed to be my girlfriend? Because you said before that you will agree to date me if I’m your boyfriend.”, he hopefully asked.

Oh dear! I forgot that I said that to him! I remembered rejecting his date invitations, but I couldn’t remember saying that if I agreed once then I’m accepting him as my boyfriend!

I looked over Milena when I saw them walked out of the restaurant holding hands and all over each other. I may not be able to love Lan now, but who knows? Maybe tomorrow I could. And maybe he could help me take my mind off Milena and that Azzhole! My mind is hazy. I couldn’t think of anything else except Milena being happy together with her girl. I wanted to find my happiness too.

 That night, I agreed to be Lan’s official girlfriend!