His Only Girl

Chapter 11

Char's P.O.V

Currently, I'm in the third month of my internship in Poly. After so much nonsense happened to me because of relationships, my mindset is just go with the flow.. no use for being so desperate over a human when I don't even know how to cherish my myself and taking care of my mental health...

I feel that I kind of lost hope in relationships and with this internship it kind of distracted me from overthinking too much. Before this internship started, I met someone whom was a close friend to me. However, he was the cause of me losing hope in love. 

We have been friends for a long time, I met him on a dating app "Tinder". My impression of him was he is a really tall and cute guy, we have been talking on telegram was quite long. I really appreciated him for being in my life from the start. That day, we met up for the first time after talking for so long online. We went out for dinner and we went to drink afterwards. I felt that we clicked well on that day, after drinking we were walking back to a MRT station further away to sober up faster before going home.

When we were reaching the MRT station, he suddenly stopped and confessed his thoughts and feelings about me. In the moment, I was quite shocked to be honest but I felt his sincerity when he talked. Maybe I was too sucked in the moment to that I agreed to his question about dating me, however things did not end well for me.

I went out on 3 dates with him, he was really sweet to me but end of the day I was just a replacement of his previous girlfriend. I really didn't see it coming to be honest, because it really did fall for him but he literally gave me hope and crushed it in my face. My heart was so broken that I shed tears because of his decision to leave me, I felt that I should have seen the signs more clearly that I was a rebound if not I won't have been so heart broken because of him. 

After that incident, whoever I tried to date I felt that I have no romantic feelings for anyone. Maybe it's a good thing so I would not blindly dive into a relationship or date someone as I do not want to waste anybody's time. Being single isn't so bad as I thought it would be now, even though I get jealous of my sister and her boyfriend from time to time.

Single life make me focus on myself more, I do things that I like for myself such as doing nails and buying things for myself. Doing nails is a good way for myself to relax, with pretty nails it makes me happy compared to buying makeup and I really like to buy things on the app 'Shopee'. Now that I am earning money from my internship, I get to buy more things that I love but still I have to refrain myself from overspending as I'm trying my best to save up for a new phone.

My current phone is with me for two years I think but I feel that it's time for an upgrade. My current phone has too much bad memories about my relationships and school life, by upgrading it gives me a fresh start to create new memories for myself and maybe a future boyfriend if I really manage to meet someone who really appreciates me for being myself whole heartedly. Nobody's perfect for sure but it is about honesty and trust to be with someone who would love me even though I have countless flaws.

to be continued... 

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Char's P.O.V

It's 2021, Life has been fine for me. I will be turning 21 soon! Honestly speaking, I'm not too excited about it as it is a new milestone in my life as a working adult. The only thing I am most scared of is financial expenses. 

Internship ended a few days ago for me and I have been accepted as a full time staff by my intern company. I'm kind of afraid to start working as a full time staff as I'm scared I keep making mistakes that would mess up a project and another thing would be meeting real clients on my projects that I handle. 

This year would be a year of adulting for me.... 

It's been the second week of my break period before I officially start as a full time staff at the company. It has been kind of boring...I mean I don't hate it that I can rest and do nothing all the time It's just...quite bored all the time. My daily routine is just waking up, eating my meals and stoning (basically nothing productive to do).

In this new year of 2021, the subject about dating is not that appealing to me anymore. Even though now, i met someone new that really pampers and cherishes me. I still don't have the fluttering feeling in my heart which is a bad sign...I really do not want to hurt anybody especially myself so I guess I will take things one step at a time. 

The thought of really loving someone again wholeheartedly kind of makes me scared, I'm afraid I will get hurt again this time. I realize time to time I'm always crying about a guy that I really like but whom choose to dump me because of an ex girlfriend. 

Maybe when I start my new milestone as a working adult, my mindset for my purpose in life would change for the better. Working in an office environment is a new exposure for me before I officially turn 21, I aim to stay in the company for at least a year after my 3 month probation is over. I haven't even start my first day as new full timer staff, I'm already scared of what I have to face but avoiding would not solve any problems so I'm just going to take it one day at a time...

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It's been a month and a half since i started working full time. To be honest, I had such a rough start as a newbie in the office but I used to the working environment now. The only tough part that I face till now is if my colleagues ask me questions, I would feel so confused as there are still a dozen things that I do not know how to do especially when it comes to coding.

Even copying a code into the database, I would take so long to do it as I heard that database is sensitive when typing in characters so no missing characters are allowed. I started my love for coffee too (haha) , I have this bad habit which is having the tendency to be really sleepy when I am working to the point where I close my eyes for a while when I am looking at the computer.

I started on ice coffee before I drank hot coffee. I like the flavor of ice coffee but It make me pee so much as the person that made it adds a full cup of ice before pouring in the coffee. I know I shouldn't drink ice coffee as my body gets so sensitive especially my bladder (haha) but I just can't really help it. 

Life for me... has been weird (haha) I'm trying to focus on my job on weekdays but It's so dry and boring when nobody texts me often or send me sweet texts. The only motivation I have every month is when my pay gets in at the end of each month. 

Sometimes I wonder to myself, once a guy gets together with the girl he likes. Will he really love her for a very long time till the point of getting married. 

The only interesting thing that happened to me was when after I bought breakfast at the seven eleven (711) , a random guy hit on me early in the morning (hahaha) 

I was really tired as It was so early, I didn't really know what's going on but he complimented on my spectacles to start a conversation with me. He was so straightforward in his words (haha) he asked if do i have a boyfriend, I said no (I have no idea why I said that).. than he asked if I want to have coffee with him on day ( I said no too) than he asked for my number.. 

I was so creeped out by him that I said no than bye bye before walking back to my office (hahah). I felt it was really too early and not the right timing to do this to me (but it was so rare this type of thing happen to me as I don't feel that I'm attractive) 

When I went back to the office, I still didn't really process what just happened (hahaha) maybe because I was tired and sleepy. I texted my close friends about it, they were both so surprised. I was so surprised too as I didn't realize he eyed on me, I only saw someone stopped and stared at me. I thought it was nothing but he waited for me outside the 711 which was kind of creepy to me. 

The next few days that I went back there, I didn't see him so I was so glad as I was kind of afraid he would try again since I said I have no boyfriend.