SHATTERED BY YOU

SLOW DANCE

JASPER’S POV,

The wedding was flawless, a heavy contrast to what Alex's and my marriage was.

For starters, while on the day of our wedding Alex was a mess because of the way I talked to him about the marriage being a huge mistake. Liz on her special day was a sobbing mess because she was happy that she got to spend the rest of her life with the man she loves.

John sobbed more than Liz. But, the only thing I could see was Alex. He was finally in front of me, after half a decade— beautiful and happy. He was finally happy with life. There was no more sadness or tears in his eyes this time. His eyes were filled with joy and that's what I wanted for him. That's what true love is, to find happiness in the eyes of the person you love.

If he's happy without me, then I'll never let anyone take that from him. He deserves all the happiness in the world.

I smiled when I found my sons pushing John away from Liz. They still couldn't allow anyone other than Darcy to be near her. She's like a mother to them after all. Plus judging by the way John's arms were wrapped around Liz and the way both of them were laughing at my son's innocence, I could feel that John accepted the twins as part of his family too.

“I'll have a soda if you could,” I asked the woman behind the bar with a little smile.

“Just soda?” She asked to confirm, and when I nodded my head she smiled back, and went to the back of the bar to fill a glass with soda and ice cubes.

I thanked her and turned my head once again towards the stage to look at my sons when someone from behind tapped my shoulder.

“So here you are.”

I turned back to find Toni in a red jumpsuit that looked perfect on her body. She was thicker than I saw her last, making her body even curvier and balanced for someone her height. She was just a few inches shorter than me but taller than both Alex and Nick.

“You've been looking for me?” I questioned, “Why!?” She rolled her eyes and was about to say something when I spoke, “Don’t tell me you are planning to cheat with me on your husband.”

“Umm…. that actually sounds cool." She said with a thoughtful look on her face.

“No, it doesn't." Nick glared at me. He was standing next to her in a grey suit that looked nice on him. The ink on his body was hidden under the fabric and with his combed hair and dress shoes, he looked nothing like himself. It was almost comical to imagine him with tattoos and piercing in the dress suit he was wearing.

“No, it doesn't,” I repeated after him.

“So how're things between you and Alec?” Nick asked with a raise of his brow, “He is looking really attractive. What are you waiting for? Now's your chance, explain the stuff, talk to him, and confess. He will forgive you.”

“It's not that easy,” I looked away.

“It's that easy.” Nick used the same stern voice he uses while talking to Alexa when she refuses to do something.

“Nick, I'm not your daughter. Besides, he has a boyfriend.” I said, gesturing towards Colton who was sitting next to Alex on the barstool, on the opposite side. He was rubbing Alex's right leg with his left hand, and seeing that made me angry.

How dare he touch my Alex like that!

“I don't think he is Alec's boyfriend,” Toni said, making them both turn towards her. “I mean look at them. They don't look like a couple at all. If anything, they look like brothers.”

“No, they don't look anything like brothers.” I tried to defend their relationship for some unknown reason instead of being happy that they look more like siblings than lovers.“You don't run your brother's thighs like he is rubbing Alex's thighs.”

“Yes, they do Jasper.”

“What!?” I was really disgusted after hearing her say that, but she once again rolled her eyes and explained. “I meant them not looking like they are in love, not about the brothers. Jeez, what do you think of me?”

I laughed and turned my head towards them and found Alex staring at me, or at Toni. No, he was looking at me, because as soon as our eyes met he looked away. I knew I was imagining it when I felt like he smiled a little and his cheeks turned red. I couldn't see the color of his cheeks from where I was, it was humanly impossible. But my heart was not ready to believe that.

“You two are the dumbest people I've ever met. Like, talk already. Communication is the key to all the problems. Ignoring each other is not going to help either of you.” Nick sighed, ordering two glasses of wine for himself and his wife.

“Yes, Jasper, talk to him. You both need closure. You can't keep things hanging in the air, you two are still married.” Toni took the glass from the bartender and walked towards the other side, where most of the people were.

I followed her, I knew she wanted me to follow her.

I watched him as we neared, and as I walked I couldn't help but feel the need to push first his hand away from Alex and then him out of his chair and sit next to my Alex. I wanted to tell him how amazing he looks and I missed him and lots of other stuff. I wanted to kiss him again. Feel him again.

“Daddy, daddy…” My sons yelled as they ran towards me with broad smiles and hugged my legs.

“Hey, monsters.” I knelt down to hug them both. “So, what are you two doing?”

Alex smiled broadly before answering, “Dad, you know this man also has the same name.”

He gestured towards Alex, I turned towards him too. And seeing the way his face lit up, I offered him a small smile. He smiled back. Colton was smiling too, but I paid him no mind. There was no need for me to be friends with him. Liz and Alex were already his friends.

“Isn't it crazy, dad?” Jay asked, running to Alex and hugging his legs.

“Jay,” I warned him, and probably understanding what I meant, he let go of Alex's legs and stepped away from him.

“I'm really sorry Alex for invading your personal space.” He mumbled looking at the floor. “It will never happen again.”

“Oh my god, Jasper!” Alex exclaimed. His voice was still the same. I missed his voice. “What on earth are you doing with your kids?” Alex asked, looking concerned for some reason.

“Sorry, I didn't get you.” I stood up, staring at him.

What did he mean by that?

“They are hardly five years old and you taught them about personal space.” He said it like it was the most idiotic thing he ever happened to hear. “What else is there? Business? Accounts? Silent auctions? Find raisers? Piano?”

“You are mocking me,” I rolled my eyes. He was still the same, yet very different.

“What else am I supposed to do? They are kids, let them be.” He said, picking up Jay and placing him on his lap. “I mean you came to learn about the concept of personal space at the age of sixteen.”

“True,” Liz supported him and all of them burst into laughter.

I did too.

“His children are much smarter than he was at their age.” She shook her head. “Wait let me rephrase it, at this early age they are smarter than he was in high school.” Liz completed.

“Okay, okay…” I picked up Alex and hugged him tightly in my arms. “I get it, they are smarter than me.” I kissed Alex’s cheeks and he giggled.“But let's not forget they are mine.” I kissed Alex again on the cheeks and he giggled more.

Alex from his seat was seeing everything silently. I tried to read what was going inside his head, but I couldn't.

“Okay, now we need to dance,” Liz ordered standing up when the song changed to one of her favorites. “All of us.”

“Not a bad idea,” Toni smirked and went towards Colton. “British boy, come with me.”

“You meant me?” Colton questioned in a thick accent. Talk about being in the states for five years and still not losing the accent.

“Yes you,” She winked at me before extending her hands towards him. “Especially after hearing your voice. Because it is turning me on.”

“Okay, okay, Toni. Keep it in mind that you have a really good-looking husband and an adorable daughter.” Nick said in the baby's voice. He picked Alexa in his arms and went towards the dance floor, swaying around with his beautiful daughter.

“I am not good with slow music,” Colton said with a small smile, biting his lips nervously.

“It's not a competition so you can dance as you want.” She said, sighing, he stood up and went towards the floor with his hand in her.

Liz and John followed. A cheer from the crowd erupted seeing them on the floor. Both of their cheeks turned red. Liz hid her face in John's chest while they swayed to the music. A couple more people hit the dance floor after that. They were all talking more, than dancing

It was beautiful.

Apart from the looks, Toni was giving me because they were anything but beautiful in the slightest. It was clear she wanted me to ask Alex to dance with me, but I couldn't. Not only was it ethically wrong knowing he and Colton were together, but also because I had to respect Alex's wishes.

I couldn't do anything stupid to risk the moment I was having with Alex. Even though we were a few feet away I felt him, his smile as he talked with Jay, and the way his eyes circled when he laughed.

The sound of his laugh was intoxicating.

I smiled seeing him free, but suddenly he turned towards me. He caught me staring at him. I looked away, and five seconds later he was on his heels, walking towards me with Jay in his arms.

“Hey,” He said, looking a little uncertain.

“Hey?” I tried to repeat in the same tone, yet my voice came out weak.

“So, your son, he asked me to…” he turned away. His cheeks were red and he was sweating. “He a-ask-asked me to, you know.”

“Sorry, I couldn't.” I looked at Jay to figure out what he must have asked Alex.

“I asked him to dance with you because you two are the only ones sitting alone,” Jay announced and I am pretty sure my cheeks turned red too.

“Jay, you can't ask him that.”

“Why!?” Alex asked from my arms.

“Because you just can't,” I said because I truly had no explanation for that. How was I supposed to explain my complicated relationship to them? So I added, “Alex is not okay with it.”

“You don't want to dance with dad, Alex?” Jay questioned. “My dad is a nice man. Do you not like him?”

“I know he's a nice man and I never said that I won't dance with him,” Alex answered, still not looking at me. “I am okay with dancing with you.” He looked at me, and his beautiful red face and sparkling eyes stole the breath out of my chest.

“Oh…ohkay." I stuttered, “Let's go if you want to dance now or we can wait if you want to start from other music.”

“I am okay.”

“Okay,”

“All the best,” Jay said and climbed down Alex's arms. Little Alex followed his brother and they both ran where mom and dad were.

We went to the floor, awkwardly. Toni gave me suggestive looks and Nick smirked like he knew my biggest secret. It was embarrassing and suddenly I felt like everyone was watching us.

I tried to not look around and focus on the man in front of me, my beautiful husband.

“We start?” He whispered-asked, looking around.

“Yeah,” My hands immediately moved to his waist, resting above his hips. I took his lead and froze, a bazillion amount of feeling rushing inside my heart. My stomach was twisting and I felt my heart, like the real muscles. I could feel it.

It's been so long. Too long, since the last time we touched or even saw or talked with each other. I wanted him, but at the same time wanted him to be happy much more.

“Your sons are great.” He said as both of us started moving with the beat of the music.

It wasn't anything fancy like Toni and Colton or lovey-dovey like Liz and John. It was the kind of dance that high schoolers do at prom. Not knowing what they are allowed to touch or how close they could be with their partners. Neither of us knows how close or distant we could be. We couldn't read each other's movements or body language like before. A lot had changed still, the comfort of being near him was just the same. Calming.

“Most of the time they are, although not always.”

“Sounds like someone I know.” He said with a teasing smile and we both laughed.

“I missed the sound of your laugh,” I said before I could stop myself.

“And I missed you.”