Chapter 37
2349 Words
She could not sleep. Although it should not be a problem for her as she was a little drunk and definitely stoned, she still could not fall asleep. Every time she closed her eyes she saw his face. The blank gaze of his blue eyes. His hands wandering over the body of a strange girl. And she was furious with herself that it hurt her so much.
‘But why?!’ She asked herself. ‘It’s not like I’m in love with him!’ Jay combed her hair nervously. The truth was it was not even a crush. ‘Well, maybe a little.’ It crossed her mind and she grimaced. The significant thing was that Cole was attracting her. She wanted him, that was something she even did not try to deny. From the very beginning she felt a strange attraction between them and made no special defense against it.
Therefore, when Cole made her understand that he wanted to have s*x with her, she did not argue. On the contrary. She encouraged and provoked him even more. When he came to see her that night, she hoped it would end up differently. But this game had his rules and she had to adjust. Meanwhile, it turned out that she was disqualified and replaced. No wonder she felt disappointed.
Jay knew she had no chance to get some sleep, but on the other hand it was far too early for jogging. But she put on some comfy tracksuit she kept at her father’s house and went to the home gym. She chose yoga to calm herself down and ease her nerves. It helped a bit, especially when she added some soothing music.
At seven she finally went jogging. It was still dark outside, but it did not bother her as she could feel even more anonymous. And there was low risk she might meet some familiar face. She started with her usual pace, but soon she moved to sprint as she needed some speed and solid physical effort. After some time her muscles began to protest, but she kept running. When she finally got back to her father’s house, she could not catch her breath. Her lungs and muscles burned with living fire. But she felt fantastic.
After a long, hot and relaxing shower, Jay dressed quickly and went downstairs to the kitchen. Her father was already there, sipping his morning coffee, reading newspaper and chatting with Mrs. M. Jay rarely stayed overnight and now regretted it little. She missed such mornings. But you cannot have it all.
- Good morning! – She greeted them happily.
- Good morning honey! – John looked at her a bit surprised. – When did you arrive?
- Just after three. I was with Ashley, Hank and Darren at a club. – She explained.
- Good Lord! – Mrs. Morgan exclaimed. – Haven’t you heard what’s going on?! There’s a serial killer somewhere out there!
- Mrs. M., I’m sure Jay can take care of herself. – John stated. – She’s exactly the same as her mother.
- And good for her! – The housekeeper propped up her hips. – You want breakfast?! – She asked Jay.
- Yes ma’am, please! – Jay smiled at her. – Are you free today? – She asked her father.
- Maybe. – He narrowed his eyes. – What’s your plan?
- A weekend with my dad would be awesome. – She stated. – We could go out of town. – She suggested. - What would you say for a horse ride? – She asked.
- Sounds good! – He liked the idea. – Or maybe you’d stay longer? – He asked. – Thanksgiving is coming soon.
- It would be wonderful! – Mrs. M. clapped her hands. – I could spoil you a little!
- Okay, I’m in! – Jay decided. – I’ll just go and bring some necessary things.
- But first eat this! – The housekeeper put a fluffy omelet in front of her. – And don’t forget about juice! – She added. – I have to prepare something good for dinner! – She said and rushed to the pantry.
- Oh goddess! – Jay groaned. – It tastes so good! – She took another bite. – I love her!
- She’s amazing, that’s true. – John chuckled. – I need to make a few phone calls.
- Sure! Let’s meet at four? – She suggested.
- Okay! – He kissed her forehead and left.
***
When she finished her breakfast, Jay went back to her room. She grabbed her car keys and left. It took her almost two hours to get to her flat and take all necessary stuff, but finally she had everything she might need. She informed Mrs. Freeman that she would be gone for a few days. On the porch, she nearly collided with Dominic. He caught her before she lost her balance. They talked for a moment and then she got into her car and drove back to her father’s place.
At four they met in the kitchen, where she was finishing her coffee, and then they left. John took her to the same stud as before. Jay was coming here from time to time, so she knew this place quite well. They saddled two mounts and went for a ride in the nearby forest. The weather was perfect. It was sunny and quite warm, as for November, so they could spend a few hours outdoors.
After returning home, they had dinner together. Later on they sat in the living room and looked through the photos, remembering the joyful moments. Soon, however, the sleepless night began to make itself felt and Jay yawned.
- Go to sleep. – Her father said. – You’re tired.
- It was beautiful day! – She said. – Thanks dad! – She kissed him on the cheek.
- My pleasure! – He smiled. – Tomorrow we can go to the cinema. What do you think?
- Action movie? – She narrowed her eyes.
- Deal! – He agreed.
- Goodnight, dad!
- Goodnight, sweetheart!
In her room she changed quickly and immediately went to bed. Her eyes were closing by themselves and there was nothing she could do about it. Even when her phone beeped, she did not find enough energy to check who was texting her at such a late hour. The fact that she left her phone for the whole day could mean that many people were worrying about her.
‘Tomorrow!’ She thought and fell asleep.
***
That night she had a dream. A nightmare to be more specific. Even if it was a bit different from her last bad dreams, she knew it was HIM. The signal was weak, but still she could feel someone else’s fear. Jay supposed that he was out of town. ‘Or maybe I was too tired and it weakened the signal?’ She pondered. ‘Or perhaps he didn’t care if I’ll receive it this time?’ This thought was much more terrifying, because it would meant he was ready to kill whenever he wants.
Jay got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower, and then she put on her favorite black jeans, white sleeveless top and raspberry cashmere sweater. She grabbed her phone and went into the kitchen in search of something good for breakfast. Already on the stairs she could smell wonderful aroma of fresh coffee and pancakes. And she was right! When she entered Mrs. Morgan’s kingdom a plate full of pancakes was waiting for her. But the housekeeper was nowhere to be seen.
- Thank you! – She shouted and shrugged. – Deliciousness! – She sat at the table and started eating.
Meanwhile she was checking her phone. Just as she supposed, she had some missed calls and messages from her brothers. They asked what was going on with her, what are her plans for Thanksgiving, will she come home for Christmas. She answered quickly that she was okay, that she would spend the next holiday with her friends, which was partly true, because Cadence and her sons would also be at their father’s place, and that she had not yet decided about Christmas.
She had an e-mail from Melanie. She wrote about the opening awaiting her. She painted some really good canvases and her professor helped her organize everything. Mel was also passionate about photography and some of her photos were published in the local press. Jay wrote her back expressing her happiness and pride.
Holt wrote that they were going bowling an asked if she would like to go with them. But when he did not get any answer he wrote again, clearly disappointed.
“Guess UR not in the mood… Call me if U need anything.”
That was so sweet of him! Jay quickly wrote him back, apologizing for not responding and explained that she was spending time with her father. She did not want to think about the fact that Holt was right about Cole. She really hated herself for it, but she silently hoped that they would not meet until Thanksgiving. She was ashamed, even if she should not. Even if she knew Holt would not judge her in any way, she was not sure if she would have the courage to look him in the eye.
Soon she got another message from him and she had to smile.
“I’m glad UR ok. The evening sucked anyway, so U have nothing to regret. See you soon!”
But her smile faded when she saw the next message. ‘Why did he write to me?’ She thought. She checked the hour. The message came after two in the morning, so she must have heard it when she was falling asleep. ‘I bet he was drunk! Otherwise he wouldn’t even think of me!’ She snorted. She wanted to delete the message, but her innate curiosity did not allowed her to do it. She took a deep breath and pressed the envelope on the screen.
Even before she started reading her pulse quickened, her palms felt wet and her hear beat unevenly. ‘What the f**k is wrong with me?!’ She almost growled at herself. It helped. She calmed down immediately and was able to read the message from Cole.
“Please read it before deleting!”
She laughed mockingly. ‘Just as if he knew that I’d consider that!’ It crossed her mind. Was she so easy to decode? If yes, she should be pissed off. But strangely she was not. She read the rest of the message.
“I wasn’t lying. Everything I told you was true. What happened on Friday…. I didn’t want that! I can’t say that I’ve panicked, but I did it under pressure. I’m sorry Sunshine!”
Jay did not know what that supposed to mean. Was she putting the pressure on him? She did not think she was being pushy or even aggressive. She thought Cole backed off because she was too unavailable and inexperience. Somewhat cool and withdrawn. That he had to find some other girl who would help him ease the tension. And now he says that he was under pressure? And it was her fault!
‘Hell no!’ She thought rebelliously. She will not leave it like that. She dialed Cole’s number and waited patiently for him to answer. When she finally heard his hoarse voice she shivered involuntarily. She swallowed hard and pulled herself together.
- What the f**k is wrong with you Sullivan?! – She attacked immediately.
- Sunshine! – He was clearly pleased to hear her voice. – I really hoped that you’ll let me explain….
- I don’t want your explanations and excuses! – She interrupted him. – I understand why you did this and I have no grudge against you. But I don’t understand one thing! Why didn’t you say you felt trapped?
- Wait! What?! – He was genuinely surprised.
- Please don’t deny it! – It was already had for her. – I really don’t know what I was thinking! I guess I wanted to see if I’d be able to play your game. Looks like I wasn’t that much of a challenge for you. – She laughed bitterly.
- Jay what are you talking about?! – He was shocked. – You’re the biggest mystery to me, and I want nothing more than to know your secret!
- Cole, please! – She cut in. – We’re friends and I don’t want to lose it. – She took a deep breath. – Can we just start over? From the point before it all f****d up? – She almost begged.
- I’d do anything for you sunshine! – He said with a strange sense of regret.
- Thank you Cole. – Jay said in a whisper. – I guess we’ll meet soon.
- Probably. – He replied. – See you then.
- Yeah, see you. – She hung up.
- I can’t wait to see you, Sunshine. - He said to himself.
He was well aware that he made a mistake. But fortunately the fate gave him a chance to fix everything. And he was going to use it! It does not matter if Holt likes it or not. ‘The game goes on!’ He thought. ‘And I’m not going to just give up!’
- Writer
