Painting the Bliss

Ikalimang Kabanata

Artwork

Sinundan ko ng lakad si Ullyses. Marami ang nakatingin sa kanyang paglalakad. It seems that he's walking in a masculine manner. Even his veiny arms added a much enticing texture to his body.

Habang naglalakad ako hindi maiwasang kumawala ang mga bulgar na halinghing ng mga babae sa gilid.

"He's really handsome. I'm much willing to throw myself on him" gusto kung tabunan ang aking tenga sa mga malalanding lintanya nila.

"True. I heard he bed willing girls" maarteng humalakhak sila sa pinag-uusapan nila. They are both classy pero hindi ko maatim isipin na ganiyan sila pagdating sa lalaki.

Mapanuksong titig ang iginawad sa akin ng dalawang babae nang nakita nila na sumusunod ako kay Ullyses. Yumuko lang ako.

"I knew it. Panibagong fling ng dakilang si Ulysses" nahiya ako sa narinig ko. Ipinagsawalang bahala ko nalang ang mga makamundong pag-iisip nila.

Nakita kung papunta si Ullyses sa second floor. I didn't know that there is second floor level inside of this place.

Naagaw ng pansin ko ang mga mamahaling muwebles na nakasabit sa puting pader ng social hall. It was an enchating scenery to witness a living silver tree that radiates elegance and social status. The overlapping symmetrical lines in the walls are also adding to the diverse aura of the place. In the corners, the orange lights create a contrasting image to the walls.

"Where are we going?"

Sa wakas ay naabutan ko na siya sa paglalakad. Nakaramdam ako ng lamig dahil nasa madilim na parte na kami. It sent an eerie feeling to hear the defeaning silence throughout the vicinity. Saan na ba kami?

"Just follow me. I didn't expect you're too loud to tug with." I rolled my eyes on him.

"Baka saan mo ako dalhin." He eyed me with annoyance. Not because I didn't won in that competition I can't tease a highly respected person.

Hindi siya umimik at nagpatuloy lang sa paglalakad papunta sa likurang balkonahe. Wala akong choice kundi ang magpatuloy. Gumawa ng munting tunog ang paglakad ko dahil nakasuot ako ng heels.

"Ano ba? Malayo pa ba?" naiinis na sabi ko.

Napahinto ako sa paglalakad dahil natatakot na ako sa dilim na namamayani.

"Could you shut your naughty mouth. Malapit na tayo."

True to his words, huminto kami sa pinakahuling room ng madilim na espasyo. The only thing that gives light is the orange bulb in the door.

"Kanino to?" I looked at the plain brown door.

"This is owned by Protacio Lamiernoz." kuryoso akong bumaling sa kanya.

The look on my face gave him hint na naguguluhan ako sa sinabi niya.

"My Architecture professor. Barry mentioned that you've dreamed to become an Architect."

Bumalot sa buong sistema ko ang galit at pagkamuhi. Episodes of cruel memories of my past vibrated ripples of unanticipated agony in my chest.

Dumiin ang pagkahawak ko sa tela ng aking damit. How could he tell my burried secret to others?

Isa sa pinakamalaking hamon na hinarap ko ay ang patagong pagshift ng course to Engineering. My father enrolled me to Architecture but I felt hollow and empty to stick with his plan. He never asked me what I really want in my life.

Everyday, I always contradict myself. Wala sa kursong iyon ang kasiyahan ko. I even failed complying some paperworks because of frustrations and unsatisfied feeling. I took it as my calling to detach away from Architecture.

"Please Tito. Don't tell this to Papa. Suko na po ako sa Architecture." I pleaded in front of the office of Tito Florencio. He's an Architecture professor. Kampante si Papa na mapapasa ko ang Architecture dahil nasa likod ko si Tito.

"Canvass, Bermejo will be angry at you. You know that he envisioned you to become an Architect in the future." nagsihulugan ang luha ko. I felt pressured. I just want to exercise enjoyment for once!

"Just don't tell Papa. I'll strive harder in Engineering".

My tito remained quiet in my shifting issues. At hanggang ngayon, ayokong malaman ito ni Papa. He will vocally curse me to death!

"Canvass, tapos kana ba sa plates mo?" my classmate told me habang nakadukmo ako sa arm chair. Ilang araw na akong puyat kagagawa ng sandamakmak na activities.

"Nag-uumpisa pa lang." pagod na sabi ko. This past few weeks were considered hell for Engineering students. Sunod sunod ang mga quizzes at practical exam ang binibigay sa amin. Halos gabi na rin ako kung umuwi dahil sa mga unfinished projects na kinakailangang i-comply sa deadline.

Habang gumagawa ako ng plates ay biglang tumunog ang cellphone ko.

"Hello ma?"

"Canvass, ang papa mo susugod sa university niyo. Nalaman niyang nagshift ka ng kurso."

Naging parang lantang tangkay ako pagkatapos ng tawag ni Mama. I felt uneasy and confused. I forcefully bite my lips to ease the extreme disturbance in my entire system. I'm f****d up.

Isang tawag ang nagpabalik sakin ng ulirat. It was again from Mama. I spaced out every now and then.

"Hello, ma. Nasaan na si Papa." patuloy na lumandas ang luha sa aking mata. Pinaghalong pagsisi at galit ang nararamdaman ko.

Para akong kinakalawang manobela ng isang sasakyan na walang humpay na pinapaikot ng mabibigat na emosiyon.

"Naaksidente ang Papa mo. Nag-aagaw buhay siya ngayon sa hospital. This is all your fault."

Hindi ko namalayang natigil ang aking paghinga sa pagbabaliktanaw.

"Uhh, it's not true. Engineering ang gusto ko." my shift of mood is evident. I even distanced myself from him.

"Are you okay?" He tore me with his eyes. Malalim ang titig niya sa akin. I just looked away.

"Wala. I just remember something." tumahimik siya ng ilang segundo. I inhaled deeply and shifted my gazed on him.

"Do you still want to see the room." maingat niyang sabi. Tinanaw ko ang simpli ngunit payapang pintuan. If I'll go inside this door? Does it guarantee tranquility of mind?

"Oo naman. We have come this far. I even spare my precious energy and time." pekeng humalakhak ako.

"You sure?"

It doesn't mean I remembered something it will affect my whole stamina. I have drowned for many years. I grieved for my father's death. And the only thing that's bugging me is the cause of his death.

I nodded. Pagpasok ko palang ay naamoy na ang nakakawiling singaw ng kalumaan. Inside of the room are great works of an Architect. Most of the materials used we're steel and bronze.

There is also a mini fully furnished ancestral house with various designs like that of the gems at Intramuros. The walls were also artistically emplaced by geometric lines and figures.

"What do you think?" he remained silent when we are inside of this sacred room.

"It's beyond beautiful. The details are all intricate and mesmerizing"

He just nod at me. I didn't feel any foreign feelings. This Architecture artworks couldn't justify the death of my father but it was me who can.

These are all precious and worth of sight.

"I want you to get any idea on these to interlink it with your upcoming art tribute. Professor Protacio Lamiernoz could be your great prospect of art." ito na ata ang pinakamahabang sinabi niya. Somehow, this is a nice exposure for me.

"Would that be okay? Do I need to ask for permission."

"It's okay. My grandfather wouldn't be angry to someone who will make a tribute for him." nanliit ang mata ko. Lolo niya? Muntik ko nang makalimutan na isa rin pala siyang Architect.

"Are you doing this on purpose to advertise your family." pabirong sabi ko.

"Nope, I'm doing this in your behalf. I want you to seek for something different."

"Bakit?"

"Your output in the last competition is plain and dull. However, the jurors liked the concept. But it lacks flexibility and innovation."

I think I'll take it in a constructive way. It's not always a heaven feeling at all.

"So, I pointed out the occuring lapses. That's why hindi napasali ang work mo sa list of winners" Nanlaki ang mata ko. Siya ang dahilan ng pagkatalo ko? How cruel. But I can sense the genuineness on him. After all, it has sense.

"Do you have any mercy for giving the consolation place or even a wildcard pick?"

"I didn't give it to you because I saw the potentials in you. You deserve high recognitions. You need to level up the way others did. That's why you need exposure and an eye opener."

Gusto ko sanang pilosopohin yung sinabi niya pero salungat ang nararamdaman ko. I feel relaxed and contented hearing his words.

It's like the intangible feeling being criticized by an experienced person.

"T-thank you." naramdaman ko ang naiibang bugso ng kasiyahan sa akin.

"I can see the passion and overflowing desires on you. Kahit na burara ka." natigil ang lahat ng iniisip ko dahil sa kaniyang deskripsiyon sa akin.

"Excuse me?" I even added an attitude in my words habang supladang nakataas ang aking kilay.

He just chuckled at me.