26.
2132 Words
CAN WE KISS FOREVER by Adriana Proenza and Kina SHOULD be played to really feel the chapter.
Trigger warning.
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-I screamed my pains and fears out. My words echoed back to me and they freed me.
-Don't go running in search of what is not lost, love is everywhere around you. Just be calm and listen.
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"Dad?!" I exclaimed.
I was replied by silence.
"Is that you?" I asked.
Everywhere around me was dark and far ahead of me stood a man whose silhouette was similar to my father's, at least based on what my memory could recall. The only form of light was around him.
I took a few hesitant steps towards where this man stood. His features were becoming clearer and he looked just like my dad.
"Dad!" I screamed joyfully as I ran towards him.
I was so close to him, maybe just a step away when I was suddenly pulled back by a strong unseen force.
"Dad!!" I shouted.
"Kimora dear, I'm sorry, I can't save you. But I need you too trust your intuitions. You're a smart girl Kim." He said smiling proudly at me.
"No dad. Please help me." I shouted as tears flowed freely from my eyes.
"I love you Kim." My dad said with a sad look.
I was about replying him when his features morphed. It was no longer my dad but an angry looking man. He seemed so familiar but my current state of mind won't let me think straight and figure it out.
"Oh poor Kim. You are on your own now. Daddy's little princess." He laughed evilly.
"You are not my dad, where is he?" I asked angrily still trying to free myself from whatever force was holding me down.
"Have you not been taught my dear, that looks can be deceiving?" He snared at me. "How about I teach you a little lesson?" He said bringing out a gun from his pocket.
"No please don't." I begged frantically.
He raised the gun directly towards me aiming for my head.
"Please don't." I pleaded repeatedly.
My pleas seemed to amuse him as he burst out in loud fits of laughter.
He suddenly stopped laughing and looked me dead in eye.
"Say hi to your father." He said just as he pulled the trigger.
"No..." I screamed out in pain.
"Kimora."
"Kimora."
A voice kept calling out to me.
"Kimora, please wake up." I was greeted by my mother’s worried face when I opened my eyes.
Without thinking, my hand went straight to my head to feel for the bullet but I felt nothing.
I sighed in relief. It was just a nightmare.
But it felt so real.
And the man with the gun, he looked so familiar. I'm very sure I know him, but everything is such a blur.
"Honey are you okay?" My mum asked.
"Yeah I'm fine. Just had a bad dream I guess." I said with a shrug.
I didn't want to get her worked up, she was already going through a lot.
"I know it's not easy for you, but please if you need anything let me know okay. I'm so sorry you have to go through this." She said pulling me into a tight hug. "Anyway, lunch will be ready soon. If you're hungry."
She smiled softly at me before walking out of my room.
Tomorrow will make it two years since it all happened. I'd been holding up just fine but the letter I got on Thursday is messing me up. I was yet to tell anyone about it because I did not know who the traitor is.
(PREFERABLY START PLAYING THE SONG FROM HERE TILL THE CHAPTER ENDS. )
Tomorrow was Monday, tomorrow was Christmas Day and tomorrow was also the day I lost my dad. I planned on visiting him tomorrow, but the party is tomorrow too.
And there's no way I'll get to the bottom of this if I don't go, that is if Dimitri is being honest with me and not some kind of psycho.
I opened my drawer and pulled out my locket. The picture of a once happy family mocking me. I guess we were too pure and someone decided to ruin it.
I didn't want to think negatively.
"I guess we need to talk." I said with a sigh, closing the locket and shoving it into my pocket.
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Mum was a little worried by my sudden decision to go for a walk, but I guess she already knew where I was really going to.
When I got to my destination, I turned left and right making sure there was no one stalking me. I couldn't afford to be caught unprepared especially with all that has been going on.
When I got to my spot, I smiled at them happily and crouched down not caring about the dirt on the ground.
"Hey there." I said laughing inwardly at how stupid what I was about to do seemed.
I obviously was not going to get a reply.
"I know it's been long but I thought I'll come and check on both of you." I said wiping away a tear drop that managed to slip out.
"You probably feel like I abandoned you and just moved on with my life. You're wrong, I didn't, but I am sorry if that's how I made you feel. I stopped coming here after a month because I couldn't. It hurt so much. I couldn't believe it was true, I miss you both so much." All the hurt and grief I had tried hiding began coming to the surface, but I had to be strong.
"I was still dealing with the night from your best friend's birthday. I never told, you but I got r***d that night Luther." I said laughing.
A memory of Hope teasing my older brother about his name came flashing. She always joked about him being a future Martin Luther even though she knew our surname was Martins.
"On some days I woke up and ran to your room as usual Luther, before I remembered that you're gone, that you both are gone." I said wiping the few tear drops slipping out away. "It's so hard living without you." I yelled placing my hand on the marble of my father's grave.
I suddenly felt an arm wrap around me. No one followed me here I'm sure of that, I was about hitting whoever it was until I smelled the mixture of mint and woods.
Damon.
I looked up to him but he didn't say anything. He looked sad. It felt good having someone to hold me but I just couldn't, I didn't want this.
I wanted to scream at him to leave me alone, to go away because he can not understand how I felt, because this was too personal, because he could be the traitor, because-
“Trust your intuition.”
My father's words from my dream echoed in my head.
Deep down I knew I needed someone to be there for me. My mum could not be that person, she was broken too, Dimitri had tried his best but he was also mourning his brother. And honestly I was scared of trusting anyone especially after the letter.
But this felt right, I felt safe. I felt everything Luther had ever told me about someone caring for you.
So I did what dad said, I didn't try to lock myself away.
"It hurts so bad." I said crying into Damon's chest.
He didn't say anything, he just kept rubbing gentle circles on my lower back.
"They didn't deserve to die. Dad wasn't perfect but I know he always tried his best to do the right thing. I don't know what he was trying to stop, but I know he did it to save lives." I said remembering one of my dad's calls few days before he died.
He kept telling whoever it was that he won't let them hurt innocent people just because they could.
"He always put others first." I said with a sad smile.
"Luther didn't deserve it either, He was the best brother in the world, my best friend. The only offense he committed was being there that night. He saw whoever shot dad. And on his was to the station the next day to give a statement, he was crushed by a car-" I couldn't continue so I just cried.
After about a minute of more tears I decided to let it all out. I had never thought back to that day but I knew doing this was in my best interest.
"He didn't die immediately, he was rushed to the hospital. I and mum got called and we went there immediately. He asked to see me. He tried telling me something. He tried hard to talk to me but he left before he could form the right words. I watched him die. I watched him suffer. Most of his bones were dislocated, I can't even imagine the pain he went through while taking his last breaths."
I paused trying to calm myself.
"It was the same year I got r***d. I felt like the world just hated me. I was never this stony hearted girl. I was once a happy child." I said remembering my childhood.
"I want the pain to go away. I want the memories to go. I lost myself the day my brother died, I lost my family. My mum barely stays at home. She tries drowning herself in work to forget. It hurts Damon. Make it go away, please." I begged holding onto him tightly.
Damon still didn't say a word. He just pulled me closer to him, rubbing my back and kissing my hair.
I wanted him to say anything comforting, whatever it is I'll take it.
Call me desperate, but right now I cared less.
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We remained that way for long enough because when Damon finally called my name, the sun was setting.
"Kim, I'd be lying to you if I say I can bring them back, that's not possible. But I don't think they'll want you to be sad when remembering them. They'll want you to be happy, to be the strong and confident young woman that you're daily becoming." He said looking me dead in the eye.
I'd never seen him this serious before and I'd also never seen his eyes this puffed up.
Did he cry?
"They may not be here physically, but they left a piece of themselves in you." He said with a sad smile.
"And hey, the world can never hate you, it's just jealous because you're too amazing for it."
That made me laugh.
"I'm sure they're both proud of you. You may not have them, but you still have people that love you and care about you you know." He said standing up and dusting his clothes. I decided to do the same. "As unlikely as it seems, you actually have me. I know I'm a jerk sometimes-"
I snorted at that.
"Just sometimes?" I asked with a raised brow.
"Okay so maybe I've been a jerk most times, but that's not the point. The point is, I care about you Kim. I know that behind this hard exterior is someone hurting and I care, because I've been hurt too." He said pulling me in for a hug.
"Thank you." I whispered.
I couldn't believe I was having this discussion with Damon.
I'd never told anyone how their deaths really affected me before.
"Kim?" Damon sounded unsure as he pulled away from the hug.
I quirked a brow a little confused.
"Is it okay if I kiss you?" He looked nervous.
Cute.
I laughed at the thought before tugging him towards me.
If the earlier part of my dream was really was some kind of message from my dad, then I was sure of one thing.
Even if I couldn't trust anyone at the moment, I trust Damon.
And I really hope my intuition was leading me right.
I pulled away from Damon after a while and walked back to my father's tomb.
"I love you too dad." I whispered to his grave before leaving with Damon.
- Writer
