Allistaire

#3: Wife

            Two days later, I was already back in Sister Margaret’s office. Now with Ilay, of course.

            Walang nagawa ang mga madre sa grupo naming nagsanib-pwersa laban sa grupo ni Cleo. The nuns were holding their rosary while we clashed the other day.

            Like all the other times I was misbehaving, I was summoned to the head directress’ office. Katabi ko si Cleo sa lumang couch, napuruhan nang nag-away kami dalawang araw ang nakalipas. Hindi pa natatanggal ang kaniyang bubble gum sa buhok. Miss Elizabeth was busy handing out hot cocoa like it’s our last meal before our judgement.

            “Allistaire? Hot chocolate?” alok niya kay Ilay.

            Nanatili itong nakatayo sa tapat ng malaking binata ng opisina at mariing nakatitig sa akin. He crossed his arms, his bloodshot eyes looking so deadly serious. I flinched a bit with his rough gaze.

            “No. Thanks, Liz.” He almost spat it out.

            Umiwas ako ng tingin at pinaglaruan ang singsing sa daliri.

            “Shall we start?” Sister Margaret who was sitting across from us clasped her hands together.

            While the head directress got busy laying out her cards, I couldn’t help but to reminisce how it all started. After all, I was seated on this exact spot that day. Nakatingin lang ako sa bintana, inaalala kung paano ba ako napunta sa ganitong sitwasyon – being married to Allistaire Delgado. With one look at Ilay, I traveled back a few days before.

            It all started just after my sisters called to greet me. 

            “Happy eighteenth birthday, Daisy! We miss you! We’re all waiting for you to come home!”

            Sister Margaret was looking at me while my face contorted into open distaste. Pumihit ako sa ibang gawi, ebidente pa rin ang disgusto.

            “Si Daddy?” I pursed my lips. “Babati ba si Daddy sa akin ngayon?”

            “Naku! Busy kasi sila ni Ate Cala. But she sent you a gift! Sigurado akong magugustuhan mo–”

            “Goodbye,” I declared.

            “Daisy! Don’t hang up yet! Please! Daisy, Happy Birth–”

            I slammed Sister Margaret’s old, crappy telephone down on her oak desk that smelled like coffee and old books. The dial telephone was the only telecommunication device that was allowed here in our boarding school. I was snarling my lips as our head directress looked at me in disbelief. Pinaalis rin ako nito kalaunan at dumiretso ako sa aking classroom.

            Maingay. Magulo. Puro babae.

            I was shaking my head as I marched to the teacher’s table up front. Tumuntong ako sa upuan para tuluyang makatayo sa ibabaw ng lamesa. It was the same spot where Alyssa, one of my friends, volunteered as model for our Art Class. She was the nude masterpiece.

            “Someone got a tampon? I’m having my period!” malakas kong sigaw sa buong klase.

            Lumingon ako sa skirt kong napulahan na nga. Hindi ko ito napansin dahil bago dumiretsong office ni Sister Margaret para tanggapin ang tawag ay nanigarilyo muna kami sa rooftop ni Raven, also one of my friends.

            Ang pinakamatalik kong kaibigang si Ash ay bulgarang nagbabasa ng Kama Sutra habang nakapatong ang dalawang paa sa arm chair. I specifically remembered her smuggling the forbidden book by bribing our church custodian, Kuya Jojo. Walang hiya talaga ang isang ito dahil pinasabay ba naman sa package ng mga bible.

            I could almost see her pink knickers because of her short, checkered skirt like mine. I remembered that one because I was the one who gave it to her as a gift for Christmas last year.

            Napangiwi ako nang maramdaman ang pagdanak ng dugo. Ang dumaang si Sister Nina ay lumaki ang mga mata sa akin. I smiled sweetly at her and waved. Then I pointed at my butt which was now leaking with blood. 

            “Sister Nina, look! I’m not pregnant!” I beamed.

Walang nagawa ang kawawang madre kung hindi ang magtatakbo paalis. Her Hail Mary echoed in our hallway.

            “Here you go, Daisy! Congratulations!” Inabot ni Alyssa sa akin ang isang kulay pink na tampon at dalawang balot ng napkin.

            “Thank you, Yssa! Please be like me! Be responsible!” I smiled at my fellow classmates. “Remember, girls. We should have full control over our own body. It is our body. It is our choice. Just please be responsible, and don’t listen to boomers who tell you how to dress properly.”

            Some of my classmates nodded and took notes while some gossiped with each other. Kasama roon ang aking matapat na kaaway na si Cleo. Simula nang mapunta ako sa aming boarding school ay parang kaakibat na nito ang araw-araw na pagsagupa sa classmate.

            “Except for Myria! She’s a hypocrite!” sigaw ng isa kong classmate.

            My eyes widened as I looked at the poor girl. She was the class’ target at the moment upon learning that she secretly watched a video on how to use pills. Hiyang-hiya ito kaya naman tinuruan namin. Bagong pasok pa lang kaya wala pang kasama.

            Ang siste pa, tatanga-tanga ang boyfriend niya. Hindi marunong magputok sa labas kaya tuloy siya kinakabahan ngayon.

            “Hey! Myria is just shy! Cut her some slack! Especially you!” Dinuro ko ang pagmumukha ng classmate na umurong ang dila.

            I waved at Myria and flashed one of my billion-dollar smiles. The poor, little demented soul only looked down on the floor, her cheeks blushing.

            “Look at this, Daisy! Do you think Jace will like this one?” Ash came up to me and showed me her book.

            “Hmm…” I squinted my eyes at the obscene images.

            The nayika was upside down, balancing her head with the both of her hands braced on the floor. Her legs were open wide for the crouching nayaka to fit in between. But the twist was that their legs looked like twirled spaghetti noodles. They were banging perpendicularly with each other like sockets that when put together would form a cross.

            “Ang ganda, ‘di ba? Do you think so too, Daisy?!” exaggerated na tanong ni Ash.

            Tumabi rin si Alyssa at Raven. Napangiwi sila. Nagkatinginan kaming tatlo at sabay-sabay na nilingon ang aming kaibigang kabang-kaba dahil sa magiging unang beses nila ng kaniyang boyfriend na si Jace.

            “In my opinion, Ashanti, that position requires great effort especially from you. Kaya mo bang mag-head spin?” Tumagilid ang ulo ko.

            Lumaki ang mga mata nito. “Why? Should I do a head spin first? Would that set the mood?”

            Naghagalpakan kami ni Raven. Si Ash ang pinakamasagwa ang bibig pero ngayong hinarapan ng lalaking susukuan niya ng kaniyang virginity ay nagiging tanga. Just imagining her doing a head spin made me clutch my aching tummy.

            “Gamitin mo na lang ang pagiging pokpok mo! Doon ka naman magaling!” tawa ni Raven, ang slightly boyish kong kaibigan.

            “Oo, talaga! Pokpok talaga ako!” Binawi ni Ash ang Kama Sutra at nagmamakaawa akong tiningnan. “Please, Daisy. Help me! Teach me how! Hindi ba ay ginagalingan mo kay Seymore? That’s why you’re still in a relationship with him?”

            “Hindi ko na babalikan si Seymore. Tapos na kami,” parang robot kong sagot.

            “Kami? Maniniwala sa’yo? E, ganiyan naman ang sinasabi mo lagi. Tapos ay lagi rin naman kayong nagbabalikan,” irap ni Raven.

            “What if they just truly love each other?” Alyssa pouted.

            Out of all my friends and classmates, ang aking pinsan ding si Alyssa Escobar ang may pinaka-inosenteng mukha ngunit nasa loob ang kulo.

            She once seduced our Math Professor just because she could. They dated in secret but of course, only us four knew about it. Since Ash couldn’t keep her mouth shut, the news spread quickly. Syempre ay nakapanig ako kay Ash samantalang si Raven ay kay Alyssa. Muntik na mag-break ang grupo na lagi namang nangyayari ngunit hindi matuloy-tuloy.

            “I love him! I love Jace! That’s why I’m giving myself to him. Please, Daisy, help! Tell me the secret why Seymore still keeps on pursuing you! Hindi ako pwedeng pumalpak kay Jace dahil magagaling daw ang mga ex niya…” mangiyak-ngiyak na sabi ni Ash.           

            Unlike me and Seymore, Ash and Jace were just new couples. Jace and Seymore were friends and classmates at Saint Matthew School for Boys, Saint Adelaide’s sister school. Kasasagot pa lang ni Ash kaya lokang-loka magpakitang-gilas. Palibhasa ay bago pa lang kaya gustong magyabang. I wanted to volunteer but despite her pleas, I disagreed.

            Ang totoo ay wala pa naman akong karanasan.

            It was a stupid rumor Seymore concocted with his filthy mouth, and everybody was stupid enough to believe it. I wasn’t bothered because I became extra popular the day it came out. Siguro ay ganoon din si Seymore dahil bali-balitang may kinamang Montemayor.

            It got stuck eventually. All my classmates were thinking I was some s*x goddess that Seymore couldn’t get enough of. Kahit may mga suitor ako ay panay pa rin ang dalaw nito dahil panay pa rin ang entertain ko. We’ve been at it – our toxic on-off relationship – for almost a year now that people were thinking we’re the ride-or-die type of couple.

            “You know what, Ash? Maybe you should just ask Jace yourself. Ikaw ang girlfriend, hindi ba? Ikaw dapat ang nakakaalam kung ano ang mga gusto niya. Kung ano ang mga fetish niya. You should understand his needs just as he should understand yours. That makes it more intimate for the both of you for your first time.” I sounded so matured that I wanted to pat myself.

            Alam kong nakikinig si Myria dahil napapalingon sa aming banda. I clicked my fingers and pointed it at her like a gun. Samantalang si Cleo naman ay patuloy ang literal na pangba-backstab sa akin dahil nasa likuran ko nagtatatalak.

            Ang iba pa naming mga classmate na nakikinig ay manghang-mangha akong tiningnan. I smiled and waved.

            “T-Talaga, Daisy? Oh my! Why haven’t I thought of that?! Thank you! I don’t need this stupid book naman pala e!” Naiiyak ito sa tuwa sabay hagis ng Kama Sutra sa kung saan.

            Parang mga manok ang aking mga classmate nang habulin ang libro sa ere. Nagkibit-balikat ako. However, in my mind, I was really telling that to myself. Kahit na wala naman akong karanasan ay gusto ko pa ring maintindihan ng magiging partner ko. To relate and connect with each other.

            I felt like that was the reason why the flames never surrendered between me and Seymore. Kahit unhealthy ay nagiging healthy para sa akin dahil may isang taong hindi ako iiwan. Kahit na lagi kaming nag-aaway. It was just plain wrong to think that way but I couldn’t help it. Aside from Ash and my two other friends, I had no one to turn to.

            “Can we go to the bathroom now? Because I’m leaking here.” I pointed at my butt.

            Hinila ako ni Raven samantalang si Alyssa ay hawak ang mga pinamigay niya sa akin kanina. Tulalang nakasunod si Ash sa hallway.        

            Ashanti Santa Romana had been my best friend even before Calanthe Montemayor, my eldest sister, sent me here in Saint Adelaide School for Girls. Siya ang kasama ko lagi tuwing may party sa labas at loob ng aming bahay. She was with me ever since our play dates days with the other family friends’ kids.

            Originally, it was just me and Ash when we first got here in SASG. Swerte ako dahil may isang kakilala. Katulad ko, sa murang edad ay tinapon din siya ng kaniyang marangyang pamilya. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit nila ginagawa iyon dahil most of the times naman ay hindi lumalabas na matino ang bata. It was the exact opposite. Para kaming mga hayop na nakakulong. Halos lahat ng kamunduhan ay bulgarang lumalabas.

            Alyssa and Raven then enrolled, unfortunately, a cousin and a close family friend respectively. We didn’t have any choice but to stick together dahil kung pipiliing mag-isa ay matutulad kay Myria. In my opinion, she needed to toughen herself up or she wouldn’t survive in this boarding school s***h tapunan ng mga inaayawang bunsong anak.

            Saint Adelaide School, an independent, Catholic all-girls boarding school, was supposed to train young girls of the elite families to be prim and proper, ideal, and obedient. The vision of the school was to produce good, submissive wives and daughters-in-law. We were all sent here because of two things only: either our families are too busy manning the business or they just don’t want to deal with teenage angst. Probably both.

            Now I was stuck here with my friends that created so much drama more times than I could count of when my family visited me.

            They did call though earlier because it’s my birthday. And when I said ‘they’, I meant my sister, Amaranth Montemayor. The other one was probably busy working with Daddy.

            “Daisy?”

            We briefly stopped walking because of our ground supervisor and the head directress’ niece. Papunta ang matangkad na si Miss Elizabeth sa aming grupo. Ang kaniyang mga pisngi ay lalo pang pumupusyaw sa ilalim ng sikat ng araw. She sported the same angelic smile on her lips that never once faded away within the five years that I spent here.

            “Yes, Miss Liz?” I smiled innocently, hiding the fact that I was a walking disaster

            “May dumating na parcel para sa’yo kanina. Galing yata sa mga kapatid mo. Ito, Daisy…” Her petite hands showed me the small paper bag it carried.

            Sa gilid ng aking mga mata ay nagtinginan ang aking mga kaibigan. My smile instantly fell down as I looked at the present. It was indeed from my sisters, seeing our family crest that was embedded on the card.

            “Uy, birthday mo pala! Happy Birthday, Daisy!” ngiti ni Miss Liz sabay kaway palayo.

            I was gritting my teeth as I looked at the parcel she left in my hands. Ang umayos kong mood kanina ay nanumbalik. Magaan man ang nasa aking mga kamay ngunit tila kay bigat ng aking puso.

            As if sensing my mood, Raven hurriedly took the parcel away from my hands and blabbered something about the Black Label that would arrive later.

            Nobody knew it was my birthday today except for my friends that knew the very reason why I chose to hide it. Tuwing isang taon ay may dumarating na bati sa telepono at regalo para sa akin. It was like the compensation for the fact that my family only visited me once or twice ever since they left me here. It was so unfair on my part. Ang mas ikinasasama pa ng loob ko ay ang paghihintay ng mga pagbati ni Daddy na kahit isang beses man lang ay hindi dumating.

            My father, the legendary Alvar Alejandrino Montemayor, liked to throw parties just because he could but never once did for my birthday simply because the date was the same as my mother’s death.

            And as he bathed in his riches, Calanthe, the eldest of us three sisters, would back all his decisions in full support despite it being irrational and plain unreasonable.

            Between Ate Cala and Ate Mara, the latter was calmer and more reserved. The last time I saw her, her nose was buried in a book as usual. Matalino at masipag mag-aral. She was the secret weapon of my Daddy. Ang kaibahan lang niya kay Ate Cala ay alam niya kung kailan dapat kikilos. Our eldest had too much Montemayor blood in her veins that I viewed her as a walking time bomb. Strikta, nag-aapoy ang mga mata. She could definitely juggle boys and our business at the same time and still wouldn’t fail. Kaya lang ay nasobrahan sa tapang.

            Malupit si Calanthe kaya nang ipadala ako rito ay wala akong nagawa.

            Sometimes, I blamed her for my situation. But sometimes, I blamed myself that I wasn’t as brave as Ate Mara. Hindi tumakas sa akin ang balitang nang malamang ipapakasal ito sa iba noon ay nagrebelde at naglayas. For that, I favored her more than Ate Cala who was already my Daddy’s pride.

            Kaya kung paborito ni Daddy si Ate Cala at mahal na mahal naman si Ate Mara, saan ako napunta?

            Here in Saint Adelaide. I was the unwanted Montemayor, so in here, I built my own kingdom.

            Siguro ang kagandahan lang nito ay hindi pumapasok or late pumasok ang mga new galing sa labas. Kaya naman nang bumagsak ang kumpanya namin noon ay halos hindi ko namalayan. Knowing Ate Cala, even with Daddy messing up his game and Ate Mara running away, she didn’t let it fall down and had single-handedly recovered the family business.

            “Oh, shoot! Is that Seymore?!” Tumili si Alyssa at dinuro ang kapapasok na sasakyan.

            Lumaki ang mga mata ko habang tinitingnan ang pamilyar na pumaradang itim na Rubicon. On the black hood were the seal of our school and my initials – DRMM.

            “Si Seymore nga! At kasama rin si Jace!” Ash clapped like a retarded seal.

            Nakahinto kami ng mga kaibigan ko sa bukas na pavilion ng eskuwelahan. Tulala kami habang pinagmamasdan ang pagbaba nina Seymore at Jace kasama ng iba pang mga barkada. They looked so cool getting out of the sleek black Jeep. Hindi nakatakas sa paningin ko ang dala ni Seymore na isang palumpong mga bulaklak.

            “Si Ash lang ang pupunta! Hindi si Daisy! Naku, magbabalikan na naman kayo tapos iiyak ka na naman!” sigaw sa akin ni Raven.

            “Excuse me? Hindi kaya! I’m not as marupok as Ash, ano!” sigaw ko pabalik.

            But I was already admiring Seymore’s new ear piercing, the diamond rock on his left ear glinting mercilessly. Sa malayo ay nakipagkamustahan ito sa mga girl na kanilang barkada sa Saint Adelaide.

            “Daisy, are you with us?” came Sister Margaret’s deep timbre.

            I blinked a couple of times as my memory faded away.

            Ilay was squinting his bloodshot eyes at me. Wala na si Cleo dahil naibigay na ang karampatang parusa. Looking at Ilay now, Seymor and Angel didn’t even come close. Nobody would.

            Parang napigtas ang pinipigilan nitong pansensiya nang umayos ng tayo. Napalunok ako nang muli niya akong sipatin.

            “I need to talk to my wife first, Sister Marga…” Ilay uncrossed his arms and signaled for me to stand up using his two fingers.

            Pumikit akong mariin at sumunod.