Lost Wolf

Chapter 3: Mental Hospital

The forty two hours were up and I sat in an office with Doctor Sanchez waiting for my parents to show up. I was nervous because I wasnt sure if I was staying or if i would get to go home. My parents walked in and the doctor stood to greet them. "Please take a seat Mr. and Mrs. Johnson. Harmony is a wonder young lady but I would like to keep her for a few more days. These voices that she claims she is hearing are not normal. I'm worried she might have a break down if we cant figure out how to help her. Thankfully we believe we caught it early. She claims that the voice isnt always talking to her. Which is good" he said and I felt tears. I didnt want to stay I wanted to go home. "Mom please dont make me stay" I said starting to cry.

"Harmony, we need you to feel better sweetie. I think you staying is the best for you. It will help you" she said as she hugged me.

The door opened and a nurse walked in. "Nurse can you take Harmony to her room. I will send some things in for her later" Doctor Sanchez said and I hugged my parents.

"We will see you soon sweetie. I will visit tomorrow" mom said as I was ushered away. I just hoped that I wouldnt be staying more then a few weeks. I was put into the part of the hospital that required you to be buzzed in and out. I guess they did this so people wouldn't leave before they were ready.

I settled into my room and looked around. My room at home was deep purple with a light purple border. This room was solid white and only have a little twin bed in the corner. I had a table that was bolted down near the door. I figured that was where they put the medication or our food.I sighed as I laid down and cried. I was scared and frustrated all at the same time.

The next day I went to my therapist and he gave me a journal to write in. "Now Harmony I want you to write entrys every week for me. I will talk to you twice a week to start out but once you start feeling better we will go to once a week." He said and I just nodded. I didnt really feel like talking today.

Week 1: tried a med this week. Got really sick. They think i might be allergic to it and are changing it. Hope I'm out soon.

"First week here was rough. I notice we had to change your med" the therapist said. I just nodded. I still wasnt feeling the best and I didnt like the idea of talking to someone. "You know Harmony this isnt a punishment to talk to me. I just want to help you" he said and I look out the window and now.

Week 10: been here 10 weeks now. Tired about four different meds and nothing seems to work. Guess I will be here for a while. Have heard the voice about once a week so far.

"Why do I keep hearing the voice?" I ask looking at the therapist. "Well you are still new to the medication. It should help within a couple weeks. Sometimes it takes up to a couple months before you will feel they are working" he said and my heart sank. I didnt want to wait a couple months. I wanted to go home now.

Week 25: think we might have found a med at is working. Going on day 17 of not hearing the voice. Happy because if I hit thirty days then I might get tk go home.

"17 days that is great. You are making great progress." The therapist said and I smiled. "I know the new meds seem to be working great. I'm just happy I dont feel like I'm as crazy anymore" I say with a laugh and the theripist laughs too.

Week 30: well I heard the voice again. Had to start over from 28 days. I was so close to going home. I feel like I'm going crazy in here.

"Dont take hearing the voice as a set back. You are doing great. " the therapist says and I sigh. "I just feel like I failed because I heard it again. I dont know why it keeps coming back" I said feeling tears in my eyes. "Harmony these things take time. Your progression is great and dont let it feel like a set back. No one thinks you failed. I have seen people who have gotten to 40 days then have mental breakdowns because they hear voices again. Sometimes it just means you have to readjust the medication" he explained and I nodded. Maybe I won't let them know the next time the voice speaks. If I ignore it maybe it will go away on its own. I think to myself.

Week 31: Josh got to visit today and I dont feel as crazy. Maybe this isnt going to be to bad. Maybe it will.

"My best friend came to visit yesterday and it was great. I really missed him." I say with a giant smile. "That is great and have you hears the voice in the last couple days?" He said and I look down. "Once but it seemed to be more distant this time" I say losing my smile. "Well I'm going to put in that you get moved to the next step unit. It might take a little while but your doing great" he said and I give him a half smile.

Week 42: I am being released next week. I have gone several days with out hearing the voice. The meds have been keeping me calm. Dont feel as crazy anymore.

"So this week they are thinking you might get to go home. Now don't get to excited. There is still a chance they might decide to keep you. I know you probably didnt want to hear that seeing as you have been here for almost 43 weeks now" the therapist said and i nod. Part of me was hoping nothing was going to go wrong and I would be back in my own bed by this time next week.

Week 43: guess im not going home. They want to keep me another week. I'm coming up on twenty straight days of not hearing the voice.

"So have you heard the voice recently?" The therapist asked. "No" I lied, I had in fact heard the voice yesterday and again this morning. I didnt want to admitt that I was hearing it because I didnt believe in the voice.

Week 50: I had a break down but I get to go home tomorrow. Its been a while since I heard the voice. So happy to get to be in my own bed.

"So we are looking to send you home very soon. Hoping by the end of the week. It might take a hair longer to make sure that your parents have everything lined up. I still want to see you once a month for the next three months just to check your progress" the threpist said .

"I'm just happy I get to graduate from here" I say with a chuckle. I had been taking online classes so that I could gradute with my class in a few weeks. I wouldnt be going back to school. I cant say I was too upset about it. The voice still comes and goes. It mainly tells me that the medication isn't going to work because she isn't a bad thing. I dont really believe her. It took about week and half before I got discharged. I sat outside with a nurse waiting for my dad. He pulled up and I got into his car.

It had been 52 weeks since I had seen my house and as we pulled up I was so happy. I couldnt wait until I could sleep in my own bed. "Welcome home baby" my dad said as he turned off the car. I climbed out and Josh came over and gave me a big hug. "Im so happy your home." He said and I smiled. I couldnt believe that I was almost 18. My birthday was in two weeks. I graduated from high school in just one week. The school had agreed to allow me to walk for graduation even though my senior year was online.