HE WAS A SHE

CHAPTER 14: WHEN IS THE TIME TO FALL IN LOVE?

They say that in life there is a time for everything. A time to laugh. A time to cry. A time to smile. A time to frown. A time to be joyful. A time to mourn. Everything is about perfect timing. That’s why when things are done abruptly and outside of the course of time, they will surely fail. That’s the same reason why I was very cautious with my time, because I feel like time is of the essence in fulfilling my goal. I can’t falter. I can’t take a pause. But just as how unpredictable life is, something unexpected comes in between. A love that made me hesitate most of the time. But for someone like me—someone who devotes herself to just one goal—to seek justice and revenge, was there also a time to entertain love?

***

The next day.

I woke up with a bit of a headache. Not because of exerting too much effort on work or because of the pressure of fulfilling my ultimate goal. I already know the reason. I just keep on denying it to myself. I thought a simple note would wake me up from this dream. I thought those reasons would be enough to remind myself of the things I must prioritize first. I thought writing all those whys and wherefores would prevent my heart from falling for the person I should love the least. But I was wrong. Because the more I stop myself, the more I remind myself, the more I was drawn closer to him. And now, not even a simple reason is enough for him to stop.

I was staring in the mirror while my mind was flying somewhere. Far from my house. And far from the present situation, I am in. I keep on recalling what happened last night—his unsolicited confession that crashed the walls I set for myself. I tried replaying the scenes in my mind all over again—the scene where he made my heart skip a beat and my hidden what-ifs. What if I wasn’t pretending to be who I was? What if I wasn’t born as my father’s daughter and my sister’s sibling? What if I was born to a different family? What if I lived a different life? What if I’m not Eli Perez? Or, what if I say yes, right away? But all those what-ifs remain what-ifs on my mind. Because no matter how much I tried re-enacting all those what-ifs in my head, nothing would still change—and that’s because our lives were entangled at the very beginning. And love was never and will never be and should never come in between us. Just imagine a kind of love between two people who like mortal enemies—although it was merely between our families, it would only cause huge chaos to our lives. Something I can’t risk at all.

I breathe in and out after making up some realizations. “Don’t worry, Eli. You won’t see him for a while. Although you’re still working for the same company, there will only be a 1% chance for you to see each other. You’re not his secretary anymore. You won’t see him unless there is a board meeting. And it’s not like you can also talk during that time.” I told myself. “Thank goodness! You got transferred perfectly on time. So, don’t stress yourself much on things you can’t see yet. Focus first on your new designation. Think of it as an opportunity to look for something that can help you with your goal. You might not know, this could be a blessing in disguise.”

After getting myself ready for work, I took a deep breath, gathering all the strength and good vibes I badly needed for the day. I opened the door just when Bob suddenly appeared right in front of me wearing his usual morning pants and loose shirt but with a different expression on his face.

“Eli! Eli” He gasps.

“Why? What’s wrong?” I asked while looking at him, catching his breath. “Why are you in a rush?”

“Your boss?” He looked at a distressed face. “He’s here.” Pointing downstairs.

“What?” I surprisingly asked while sneaking below, trying to tell myself this is all just a nightmare. But my eyes rolled into shock seeing him standing outside his car while fixing his hair on the window of the car.

“Why was he here?” I murmured.

“I don’t know,” Bob replied while sneaking together with me while hiding in the pots of plants. “Did you tell him to come over?”

“No, of course not. Why would I?” I defensively responded.

“Hey! Why are we hiding in the first place though?” Bob asked, looking so confused.

Feeling caught up with how witty Bob is, I seamlessly stood up and fixed myself. “I’ll go ahead. Bye!” I uttered while quickly treading downstairs. “Huh!” I sighed deeply after getting out of Bob’s early interrogation. But as soon as I was a few steps away from him, I immediately lowered my pace so my boss wouldn’t catch me. I sneak on the plants placed on the stairs while slowly moving down. I can’t believe I was actually behaving like this just because of what he told me last night. Anyone who would see me right now would probably think I must have been crazy or whatever.

But as I was about to escape from my boss, Bella unexpectedly called out my name and rushed towards me.

“Ate Eli!” She rushed quickly.

I stopped walking and froze like a stone while glancing at him shortly. “I’m doomed,” I told myself after seeing how he stared at me closely from his direction.

“Hi! Ate Eli.” Bella sweetly greeted him.

“Hi!” I quickly replied while turning away from my boss’s perspective.

“Are you heading for work?” She asked.

“Yes,” I replied.

“What are you doing? Why are you covering your face with a bag? Is something wrong? You look like you’re hiding from someone?” She asked while scanning the place.

“No,” I replied while dragging him to the corner. “Let’s go.”

But as soon as we strode a few steps forward, someone called from a distance. And judging from the tone of the voice, my instincts told me it was him.

“Where are you going?” The voice asked.

I immediately halted, looking like a criminal caught in the act. After some quick realization that I wouldn’t escape from him this time, I decided to greet him and act as if I wasn’t intentionally avoiding him or something. Plus, Bella was also present on the scene. She doesn’t have any knowledge about my fake act and my fake identity. I can’t get screwed up this time. Not after what Mr. Blake Cruz told me about what happened in the past—the incident that took place on the rooftop. I know I shouldn’t have trusted him in the first place after knowing and hearing about his not-so-good reputation. But during that time, he summoned me unexpectedly and offered me a transfer to his department. I just felt like he knew something. Although I can’t point out exactly what it is, I know he has a bit of information about the past I was trying to uncover. And the desperate me would do anything just to know the truth behind my sister’s death. I always had a belief that her death had something to do with my father’s death as well.

“Good morning, Sir!” I enthusiastically greeted them while bowing toward him and avoiding his gaze.

“Good morning, Eli!” He happily replied. “By the way, is she Bob's sister?” He asked.

“How did he know? Is he a fortune teller now?” I told myself. “Yes,” I replied.

“Ah! Right! Nice to meet you, young lady.” He greeted you. “I’m Jack Cruz. Eli’s boss.”

“Hi! Nice meeting you as well, Mr. Jack Cruz,” Bella replied.

“Where are you going?” He added.

“Um! I need to drop Bella at school,” I replied.

“School?” Bella was confused. “I’m not…” I immediately covered her mouth and quickly explained it thoroughly.

“Yes! She’s going to school but, sadly, Bob can’t drop her off since he was very busy.” I commented. “He asked me a favor to go with her sister and drop her off safely. You might know, but Bob loves his sister so much that he’s super protective of her.”

“But I’m not yet…” Bella tried to insist on something. But I quickly stop her from doing something. I covered her mouth again so she wouldn’t say anything that would ruin my fake play.

“We have to go,” I added while checking the time on my phone. “If you’ll excuse us, Sir. Bye!”

“Bye!” He nodded.

***

As soon as we were far from my boss, Bella grumbled about how I covered her mouth and prevented her from speaking earlier.

“Thank goodness!” She breathed quickly. “I thought I would die from exhaustion earlier.” She added,

“I’m sorry.” I expressed this after seeing her difficulty breathing. “Are you okay?” I worriedly asked while checking on her.

“I’m okay.” She replied while making the okay sign on her fingers.

“Thank you for earlier,” I uttered while we marched outside the alley.

But instead of scolding me, she playfully smiled. And I know that expression of hers. She’s suspicious about my relationship with my boss. And after seeing how she wouldn’t stop smiling and giggling, I decided I needed to leave immediately.

“I have to go, okay? I will be late for work if I stay longer. Bye!” I added.

“Ate Eli!” She shouted. “Fighting! I’m so happy for you.” She expressed.

“Uh!” I was bewildered by her sudden response. “What was she talking about?” I added while walking towards the bus stop. I waited for more than 10 minutes and yet no bus had arrived that would pass by near the company. I checked on my watch and it was already past 7:30 and yet I was still stuck at this damn bus stop without any sign of a bus coming.

Then, Kelly’s words suddenly popped out of my head. “You know, what’s one thing your new boss and your former boss have in common? They’re both obsessed with time. They both hate tardiness. So, if you want to be on his good side, you should be as early as you were with your former boss. You know what I mean, right?” Her words made me tremble.

Another 10 minutes had passed and I was still hopeless about getting a bus or cab for work. I was very impatient looking at how the minute hand on my wristwatch slowly moved. Then after thinking quite a bit, I decided to just walk, going to the company while chasing a vacant cab along the way. But as soon as I stepped my foot forward, a car suddenly arrived in front of me and honked abruptly. I stopped for a moment. But left unbothered after sensing it was my boss’s car. I quickly hastened my steps away from him but he was so persistent in following behind. Then, he suddenly stopped and shouted something.

“Hey! Get in! I’ll give you a ride to the company.” He uttered.

But I acted as if I didn’t hear anything and just continued walking while covering my ears. But even before I could go far away, more cars had been honking and people were complaining about his behavior, which caused a mishap on the road. And I was even dragged onto the scene.

“Hey! Won’t you just get in? So, we can go to our destination. We’re also in a hurry. We have a lot of work for the day. So, will you please stop this drama? Don’t include your lover’s quarrel or what.” Someone bickered.

“Hey!” I was about to bicker at the last word the man said. “Lover’s quarrel?” I felt taken aback. But even before I could rant, my boss grabbed me towards the car.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized to them while telling me to hop in the car. “Just get in first.” He added.

As soon as my boss got in the driver’s seat, I quickly opened the window of the car and tried to explain the wrong assumption the old man was saying a while ago about my boss and me. But I couldn’t finish any of my explanation as my boss drove the car swiftly.

Minutes had passed and I was still not sober from what I had heard earlier. I even ranted at my boss for just leaving the scene without explaining himself.

“Hey! Why did you just leave so easily?” I uttered angrily. “Have you heard what that old man said about us? How could you just leave without correcting their wrong assumptions about you and me?” I sighed deeply.

“It’s okay.” He replied.

“It’s okay?” I repeated and was not satisfied with his reaction. “That’s not okay, Mr. Cruz. Your reputation is on the line here. And we both know, you can’t afford any rumors for now. The election for the CEO position is coming. All your life you’ve been working just to have that position. And I also know you don’t want to lose against the deputy director. Isn’t it?” I retaliated.

“But you even move to my enemy’s deck,” he commented.

His words left me speechless for a moment. His words hit me hard. It sounded like someone getting betrayed by his ally. He’s right. He even moved to his enemy’s side. Since I started working for him, we have planned things together, including the goal of being the CEO of the MC Group. But halfway through it, I left him. But it’s not like I have a choice. My hidden card was about to explode and I didn’t expect that the one who knew it first was the deputy director—his cousin and his ultimate rival. God knows how I tried to deny it at first, but I was caught off guard by how clever he is. No wonder my boss can’t afford to lose against him. His cleverness is just too much to handle for the company in the future.

“Plus, I don’t care about what other people are thinking about me.” He added. “Someone told me that you don’t need to explain yourself to people whose opinion doesn’t matter at all. You don’t owe anyone a single explanation about how you live your life. As long as you’re happy and you’re not stepping or hurting anyone, well, that’s okay.” He smiled while looking at me.

“Right!” I told myself while avoiding his gaze. “I was the one who told him about that. I can’t believe I was caught with my way of reasoning.” I added.

***

“We’re here.” He uttered and got out of the car while walking towards the door of the car where I'd be getting off the car. And judging from his action, he pulled the car door to my side. He was acting like a gentleman this time. Luckily, I was so quick to react that I immediately got out of the car even before he could pull it off for me.

“Thank you for the ride, Sir,” I added smoothly while scanning the people who were outside the company at that time. “You’re very kind enough to give a ride to your former secretary. Thank you so much.” I expressed happily. And after seeing the car of the deputy director arrive behind us, I quickly bid goodbye and rushed to greet my new boss.

“Good morning, Director Cruz,” I uttered.

“Good morning.” He replied firmly with his usual slanted eyes and highly confident aura. Or, shall I say, an arrogant and domineering appearance.

I started the day doing the paper work. The deputy director had told me to do so. And since the workload was similar to my former work, everything ran smoothly. Plus, I wasn’t entirely in charge of assisting the director’s daily activities because his executive assistant was the one handling the most important tasks. My duties are only those ordered by him and his assistant. In short, I’m not his assistant but the assistant of his executive assistant. I even wonder why he wants me on his side if my task were as simple as data entry, filing some documents, etc. I even feel bored sometimes during my idle hours. I feel like I don’t have any use or value or whatever. And what’s even more disappointing about this job, I wasn’t even allowed to have lunch with my former colleagues who were also my close friends in the company—which is Kelly and Barb. I don’t know what’s wrong with his mind that he came up with that stupid rule.

“You shouldn’t mingle with the enemy’s people.” The exact words he told me.

“What?” I told myself. “Who is he, by the way? Who is he to tell me whom I can mingle with?”

“But, everything was my fault.” I sighed deeply. “I’m the one who brought this dilemma to myself. If I was cautious enough, then maybe he wouldn’t have to catch my secrets. But, how could he know about it though? I mean it was only between Bob and me. And I doubt Bob would spill my secrets to him. They don’t know each other in the first place. Plus, I trust Bob so much. It’s not in his personality to do something like that. Even if he felt betrayed or hurt, he will always play fairly. That’s his principle in life. So, where could he get the tip about my real identity?” “Ah! I don’t know.” I screamed.

And another day had passed in my life doing nothing at the company. I can’t even look for clues or anything I can use to achieve my goal as I was told to remain in my new designated office unless I am told to go out or when a call from nature arises.

That lasted for a week when I decided to confront my boss—Director Cruz, about my job. Not that I want to complain. I just want to ask him directly about my role in his office. I mean, even if I don’t feel comfortable with him, I should at least do what I can do as an employee of the company. I need to work so I can move and not just be stuck in the spacious office he gave me. I need to work so I can move freely and hunt for clues.

One day, before going home from work, I went to the director’s office. I mustered up all my courage on my way to him. My heart was racing as I was standing behind the door. My feet were trembling with fear. I don’t want to be on his bad side, since I know that would only put my goal into failure. I don’t want to be his ally, since I really don’t like him in the first place. And I know people like him won’t do well for the company. I may be hunting for something to ruin those people who have caused pain to my family. And I want to destroy MC Group the most. But as soon as I started working here, I realized that the company wasn’t bad at all. The company helps a lot of people. And those people include one of my closest friends in the company. Hearing their stories changes how I view the company. Although it didn’t change the past. The company wasn’t the one that pushed my sister to die. It was the people running the MC Group.

I knocked on his door but no one responded. I went inside and waited for him. Hours had passed and he hadn’t arrived yet. Before coming here, I knew he was still at the company since he had a late meeting and after asking the information officer in the lobby if the director had left already, he told me his car was still in the underground parking area. So, I knew he hadn't gone home yet. But after feeling that he wouldn’t appear at all cost, I decided to just leave and ask him the other day. But as I walked near the door, I heard two people talking outside the door. The voice sounded clearer as they were getting nearer to the door.

At first, I didn’t intend to eavesdrop on their conversation, but as soon as I heard my name and my boss, my curiosity level raised. I leaned my ear on the door while listening closely to them. But as soon as the door creaks to open, I quickly hide in the wardrobe cabinet.

“Thank you for your cooperation.” The woman said. “Thanks to you, Jack’s secretary is out of the picture. I thought you would transfer him overseas. That’s our original plan, isn’t it?”

“Isn’t she the one I saw on the video together with my boss playing in his condo unit in the past? Right! She’s the one who cheated on him with his very own friend and executive assistant.” I told myself.

“Hey! I didn’t know you were that threatened by him. I mean, Jack won’t fall for a man. Just thinking about it, makes me laugh so hard.” Director Cruz uttered.

“I’m not threatening that Jack will fall for him because I know Jack isn’t a homosexual or whatever you call it.” The woman added.

“I just can’t explain it, but I don’t trust him at all. And Jack listens to him so well. One day, when I went to see Jack and wanted to patch up things in the past, he just ignored me as if I didn’t exist. That lasted for days and when, one day, he wanted to see me, I thought it was for good. But it wasn’t. It was to end things between us for good. And while I ran after him, I accidentally heard their conversation. Jack went to see me because of what his secretary said and not because of his own accord.”

“Hey! Aren’t you overreacting to things?” he added.

“I wasn’t pissed off that he advised Jack to see me. I was disgusted by what he told him about me. He doesn’t know me nor my story or, definitely, our story. So, who the hell is he to tell Jack to forgive me so he can finally let go and move on?” She angrily added.

“But, isn’t it a good thing that Jack forgives you? Isn’t it what you wanted in the first place?” he added.

“I wanted his forgiveness but not to forget about me for good.” She basks. “I don’t know, but I just don’t feel good about him. I can’t point out exactly what I don’t like about him. But my instincts tell me, he’s up for no good. And when he’s around, I become pathetic in front of Jack. But thanks to your cooperation, I am finally at ease. I can now move on with my plan of getting Jack back. So, cheers for that.”

“Cheers!” He replied. “And since I already played my part of our deal, I guess it’s your turn to play your part as well. Isn’t it?”

***

A few days had passed since I learned that the secrets the Director was talking about were not about my real identity. He was just faking it. And I was stupid to realize that his threats were meaningless. I was dumb enough to get into his trap. And I was a fool to feel scared about it.

After hearing the truth behind it, I immediately requested my transfer back to the COO’s office. Honestly, I don’t know how I would be able to make the director agree to my demands, but after feeling like a toy being played upon by them, I just felt like I needed to stand for what I wanted. And after hearing my sister’s name from the director and my boss’s ex-girlfriend, I felt like I needed to go back to the COO’s office to get to the bottom of what really happened to my sister. His ex-girlfriend had mentioned the name Mike and hearing from what she said, Mike is related to my boss and my sister. I don’t know exactly what their connection is but I felt like I could only point it out once I came back to the COO’s office.

“Thank you for coming back,” Blake uttered.

“No worries. I just felt like I didn’t belong there in the first place,” I said. “And, I really hate being played by people just because of their selfish desire. And I also promised that I will help you succeed in getting the CEO position at all costs, isn’t it?”

“I’m really happy that you’re back.” He smiled.

“There you go again,” I commented.

“What?” He smiles cunningly. “I know we made a deal already. Don’t worry. I won’t bother you about the answer to my question. I will pull it off for the moment. Just as we agreed upon,” he seriously added.

Well, things have been going smoothly for the past few days since I moved back to the COO’s office. Although his ex-girlfriend had acted against him at first. But later on, she agrees with him, since the last thing she wants is to get on his bad side.

***

Sunday night.

I was walking home after buying some food at the nearby convenience store when someone called me on the phone. My heart skipped a beat after hearing what the person told me over the phone. My mind suddenly went blank. I felt helpless, so I just left what I bought on the street and got a cab. I rushed towards the hospital as the nurse told me earlier.

“The owner of the phone was caught in a traffic accident. He was being treated in the ER.” The words keep on repeating in my head like crazy.

And as soon as I arrived in the room, I saw my boss lying unconsciously. I walked toward him while trying to hold back my tears. But when I was closer to him and I held his hands, my emotions suddenly rose and tears fell from my cheek. And I was crying helplessly at his side. I suddenly realized that I couldn’t afford to lose him. And because of what happened, things became clearer to me. I do love him for real.

But a sudden fear enveloped my heart. I wiped my tears away. I felt scared because I didn’t know where these feelings would bring me, especially on my path to justice and revenge. I know everything in life is about perfect timing. That’s why it took me quite some time until I came up with this ultimate goal of mine. But now, I don’t know if this is also the perfect time for love to blossom. I feel clueless as to whether there was a perfect time for love to begin with. Or, if it was just an illusion for people who hopelessly believe in love.