For you, I hope the grass is greener

Chapter 4 Her View

Daniel's POV

I know that it's probably hard to believe after all of these toxic thoughts.. but I truly do love her and everything we have had together, but I think that I have completely fallen out of love with her at this point. I love her as an amazing person, but I'm not in love with her if that makes sense. The spark we had together for so long is just not felt anymore, at least not on my side of things.

I find myself craving for that excitement in my heart, making it flip at just the mere sight of a person I'm attracted to. I need that spark, I need that eagerness to be with my partner to want to spend the day with them.. Especially with my life right now, when I have been finding every reason in the book to stay away from my family. I need that hunger from someone and especially for someone.

"So.. Danny... Andrew has his basketball game today at 6 pm.. It's here at the school, luckily.. So I can save you a seat." Daphne says to me as she applies her eyeliner. I find myself just glaring over at her for no reason.. It's not like she was rude or said anything wrong, but like I said, anything that seems to come out of her mouth pisses me off.

"I will be working late." I quickly shut that down as she huffs out and sets the makeup down to look at me. "You promised him you would be there, Danny." She declares as I groan out, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I know.. I'll try to be there, but I bet I will be working late.. So I'll just make it up to him later." I say in the most annoyed sounding tone I could come up with.

"Ok.. well, you know how much he looks forward to you being there with him at his games.. but he usually understands your absence as well.. just try your hardest for him, please." She says, begging me for my attendance. I feel my eyes rolling back, getting deffensive when it's not needed, and I know it.. That's the hardest part is knowing that I'm doing something wrong, but I'm still doing it anyway.

"He usually understands my absence? You make it sound as if I miss every single game, Daphne.. I'm not a sh*tty dad, just helping provide for this family, so every now and then, I will have to miss a game.. I'm not the devil for that.. and for your information, I always try my hardest to be there." I spat at her, slamming my stuff to the counter and making her jump as she looks over at me with alarm.

"I wasn't trying to say anything offensive. I was just asking you to try harder than you normally do to be there because this is for a spot in their playoffs.. This is a big game for his team, and if they win this one, then they move on to the next round." She explains to me in her songbird calming tone that just irritates me to no end.

"I know how basketball works.. Daphne.. I don't need you to explain it to me.. but thanks." I spat at her, leaving the enclosed bathroom, throwing stuff around the room in a huff. Not knowing exactly why I'm mad just knowing I'm pissed at life. I can hear her delicate footsteps prancing over to me. "Danny? is everything ok? What's going on with you? A bad dream? hungover? or maybe your back is hurting again? I can rub it if you would like." she asks as she tries to rub my back to help.. and normally, I love that, but for unspoken, tormenting reason.. not today.

I shrug off her hands and just state. "Don't worry about me, Daph.. I'm stressed about work stuff.. It's not you.. I swear." I promise her as the worry doesn't leave her eyes, but she nods all the same, looking at me before replying. "Ok, well, you know if you need anyone to talk to that, I'm always here for you."

She is just the perfect wife, making it hard to hate her right now.. but the building animosity doesn't make it hard to hate her. "Thanks." I say, walking away to our closet to get changed. She walks past me and heading straight to the kid's rooms. I can hear her light knocking as she states through the closed wooden doors. "Andy.. time to get up...... Marley... time to get up." You can hear groans exuding from the doors as she prances away down the hallway and to the kitchen .

I can hear the pans banging together in the kitchen before the aroma of the delectable smelling food makes its way through the house. I roll my eyes again, not wanting anymore of this picture perfect morning, just aching to get out of here.

I quickly get dressed as I make my way through the house. "Oh honey, you're early, so I haven't gotten to your lunch yet, but I have breakfast made.. come have a seat and eat something while I set up your lunch." Daphne declares as I shake my head.

"Don't worry about me, I have to get a headstart on my work so I have to leave now." I state as our son Andrew looks over at me with big eyes. "Dad? are you going to make it to my game?" I internally hate this comment since just discussing this with his mother, not even 15 minutes ago. But I have to remind myself that he wasn't a part of that conversation. I automatically pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to figure out what to say.

"Honey, your father is working very hard at his job.. I made sure to remind him of it, and he said he is going to try his best to be there. That's why he is going in early.. but you know how late his job can go sometimes.. but he will try his best." She sweetly declares in my defense as I turn around and send them small smiles. "I'll try my best.. Knock 'em dead son.. Marley, have a wonderful day.. and same to you, Daph." I say, blowing a kiss as I quickly run out the front door. Knowing full well that I should have given a better goodbye than that.. and moments like this are probably why the kids now glare at me.. I didn't even hear them say bye.. but maybe that's because I got out of the house fast enough that they had no chance to do so.

It's time to go distract myself with coffee and then work in my mundane life.. do you think anyone would notice if I left and just never came back?

Daphne POV

I watch him practically run out the front room, giving me a strong feeling deep inside that says something isn't rightveith him, and as an extension, things aren't right with us. I swallow as I turn around, thinking about what happened that could have made him feel like this.. but nothing sticks out.

Was there something I did or maybe said? I thought I asked him everything this morning with respect, and I thought we had fun last night even though he said he didn't want to go out for that dinner.. but I begged him to just so we could see his family and friends that he had been avoiding for years, for whatever reason.

"So why didn't you guys say goodbye to your father?" I ask the kids with a sideeye sent their way as they both look back and forth like they may know something.. and maybe they do.But they both don't respond to me at all, making me suspicious.

"What going on?" I ask again but in a more stern tone this time. They look away from me as they shrug their shoulders, refusing to make eye contact with just me.. they keep looking back at each other, so I know this is something they have talked about together with each other, just not me.. which, I guess, is ok.. I want them to have each other to lean on, but I also want them to know they have me there for them, too.

They keep staring at each other as I watch Andrew nod and then lean his head towards me as Marley rolls her eyes before she reluctantly decides to say. "We have been frustrated with the lack of effort.. any type of effort coming from our father. It like he just doesn't care anymore." Marley states to me being the honest woman she has always been.. which I do appreciate.

"Yeah, I get it, but he does care... I do agree that It's been frustrating." I reply as my son gets mad hitting the table, so I stop my explanation instantly to hear his. "No, mom.. He acts like he just doesn't care about us anymore.. anything we do annoys him, and he makes sure he is working all the time.. and even more than normal lately.. So is there something you need to tell us, mom? What's going on with dad? He is coming off weird, right? I'm not just looking more into this.. right?"

I feel awful that they are feeling this way, but I get it because so am I. But I need to stay strong for everyone. So I shake my head as I say quickly to reassure the kids. "No, there is nothing I need to tell you guys that I know of.. he is just a very hard worker, making sure his family has everything that we may need.. So there's nothing to worry about. Just make sure not to worry about this and put your schooling first.. that's your job and what you need to take care of, and I'll worry about everything else."

"But we need a father, so what do we do about that when our father refuses to come home?" Marley asks me as I sadly look over at her and say. "I'm going to be honest with you guys.. I... I don't know... I'm sorry, I don't know.. all I can do is make sure everything in my care is taken care of and just hope everything else comes together like I would want it to. I don't know what else to do because I feel like I have done all that I can."

They both look worried and sad about my reaction. "I'm sorry, mom, I'm probably right, and we're just reading too much into this.. You're right he is just working hard for us.. so don't worry and we won't either." Marley states as Andrew nods his head vigorously while they suspiciously look back and forth between each other.

I send them a small smile, trying to look like their words helped, but I feel the same as them.. So I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but lately, I have been feeling like I'm doing everything wrong.. it's making life harder than it needs to be. But I'm just going to keep continuing on and keeping my head up like I always do.. not just for me, but my family.