Money Can't Buy Everything

---Missy's POV--- We have all done some things we are not so proud of in our lives.. Sometimes we only have to do it for a little while, but sometimes we have to do it for a long time.. I'm currently in the, hopefully, middle of my embarrassment point in my life.. which makes it hard to ever be proud of what I have done to get this far in life.. But why wouldn't you want to be proud of the things we have to do just to get by. I have beaten the odds that were always against me.. is that something to be ashamed of? That comes with a yes and no answer from myself at least. Because either way, my job is taking care of everything I need to, whether I'm proud of it or not.. but not in the way at all that anyone would have expected for myself.. which is why I would never tell anyone about what I do to pay for everything, because it is nothing to brag about.. but I make amazing money and you got to do what you got to do to help survive this harsh world. My brother has gotten the short end of the life stick, time and time again, but no matter what, he is still everything to me.. I'm 23 and he is 16 and has been bed-ridden for a while now.. it seems like centuries, but it has only been around 6 years.. but long enough for me. But because of him being taken care of all the time with around the clock attention.. it has cost me lots of money. It's just been my brother and I for a long time, since my mother died and our father left us because of my brother's illnesses.. My brother needs so much attention and to take care of that. It is a job in itself and he didn't want any part of that.. But luckily, I was able to take custody of my little brother.. I just don't have the equipment, experience or room in my place for any of it, so they are taking care of him at the hospital.. where he can get the proper care and attention he needs.. I just visit him every single day, sometimes multiple times a day if I'm not working all day long. My brother Chris has multiple illnesses.. but the biggest issue we have to see daily, would have to be a tie between acting on his schizophrenia.. or his Chronic Kidney Disease that has developed into renal failure. He has had replacement kidneys but they only work for a couple years and started to fail again.. it's just how his body is with kidneys apparently.. but he also has Lupus, heart condition because of how big he is, because his heart has a hard time pumping enough blood to all of his body and bipolar to top it all off.. so this whole situation is entertaining.. you never know what kind of guy you will be walking in to see.. but no matter what he will always be my baby brother and I will never leave his side. Most people just don't understand that.. Like many of my Ex's.. but I don't need everyone to understand it, I just need them to respect it, if they ever want to be in my life.. and no one seems to be able to do that.. so I'm just alone for the most part. Years ago, I was even able to give Chris one of my kidneys, since we only really need one to survive.. which ended up being his first kidney transplant.. but it failed again over the years and now his 2nd kidney transplant is failing.. so it seems like we will just have him permanently on the donor list. With all this, he must be a handful for the staff there because he was a handful for me by myself, but I had no idea what I was dealing with.. until the hospital visits started and it developed into him staying there all the time for not just his safety but mine.. hence why I'm always making the hospital staff snacks and taking them thank you items when I bring him what I'm allowed to.. because of his bipolar and schizophrenia he has been known to hurt himself so I can only bring certain things for him but anything I can, I will. They are talking about sending him to a mental hospital since he is getting bigger and stronger.. He wasn't too much of a threat when he first started here, but now he is getting harder to take care of with time.. He is getting as big as my 6'5" father and it's intimidating to say the least. So we might have to move him.. whatever they need to do to help him.. I will still visit him every day, no matter where he goes. So, for now and until the end of time, I will pay for all of his medical bills to make sure he is safe and sound.. I have been working so hard to do so, with my love for performing in front of an audience.. I have had a love for the performance arts since I can remember from being young.. So I perform in any theater show that I get picked for.. which has turned into almost every show, this one main theater shows, luckily for myself.. but no matter how much I love it, this doesn't pay the bills.. it's just something I love to do and they let me perform my aerial yoga in almost every show which is what I love most. If you don't think you know what aerial yoga is, I would bet money that you have seen something with it in it.. I take cloth that looks like a sheet or long scarf and use it to hang on to the ceiling as I spin, glide and practically fly for the performance.. I just dance and sing in the air and everyone seems to love it.. So, since it doesn't seem to pay the bills, at least for now.. I had a man that we are told to call Papi who asked me if I wanted to work with him, making lots of money with my performances.. So I gave it a shot.. It's not like what I want to do, but like he said, it makes lots of money.. but it's something I would never tell nor brag about to anyone. So to just rip that bandaid off, I'm now a stripper who dances on the pole.. nothing more and nothing less.. I'm just a dancer for money I have never done anything else with any customers at the strip club, I don't even get touched, since I'm always on stage.. So I mostly just zone out and pretend like I'm not there but in a show and performing for money throughout the whole night until I can go.. and Papi said he wouldn't ever make me do anything else, that he would just let me dance for money.. and for years it's the only thing that pays all my bills and takes care of my brother and that's all that matters to me.. for now at least. We will see how long this works out, because my Ex found out about my performing as a stripper and called me a w***e after he was caught cheating on me with another girl.. Then he dumped me and said he would tell everyone about me and my secret double life of being Misty the stripper.. but no one has said anything to me and it's been months now.. almost a year since then.. So I'm just hoping that he never told anyone about me and was just saying it to be an asshole. But either way, he is still with the girl he cheated on me with and they both perform most shows with me as well.. so I can never forget about him or her.. which adds extra stress to my life, but I just pretend like I don't notice them if anything, because I love to perform so much that I won't let him determine what I do with my life.. I have made other performing friends and that helps with keeping them out of my mind besides the actual performance, which helps distract myself as well. I'm brought back to the present and away from my deep thoughts from the ripping sounds filling the room, followed by the shooting pain and numbing that trails right behind this oh-so familiar task. RIP! RIP! RIP! This sound echoes through the room as she tears away what feels like my skin, but is apparently just the hair upon it. "So the landing strip of hair again I presume.." I just nod at her in response before she continues, "So I have to ask, do you just have a man you want to impress all the time or multiple men.. or what? You're always getting waxed every week and that's more than most can say." the beautician says to me as she waxes all of my hair from my legs, cleaning them up and headed to my private spot between my legs to make a 'landing strip' as she calls it. I don't know how she can always act so casual with me, as if she hasn't seen every naked inch of my body. But I always go along with the conversations anyway, because I'm not an asshole. "I do this for my work." I told her vaguely, not wanting to mention I have to look nice for not just my performances in the theater but also on the pole. RIP! RIP! "What are you a model or something?" She asks me as I glance over at her for a moment before answering, "Pssh.. A model? ha... no... Let's just go with, or something." "I have always wanted to ask you for years now and never had the guts.. are you a dancer?" She curiously inquires of me and I know she won't stop until I give her an answer. "I do aerial yoga performances with the theater." I stated to her as she looked at me confused, so I explained as best as I could to where she would understand. "I perform at the theater by hanging and dancing in the air with cloth." Her eyes went wide in shock. "I have heard about you! My brother told me about a performance with a woman hanging from sheets while singing and he said it was magical!" She exclaimed to me as I smiled, knowing I left a great impression like that. "Well, tell your brother thank you for his nice compliment.. My brother loves my performing as well.. He said it calms him as much as it calms me. "Awe, that's so sweet.. I'll have to come watch you sometime.. do you have another performance coming up?" She asks me as I nod.. we are getting ready to start selling tickets this week actually.. I can make sure to save you and your brother some tickets for me, you know, for always taking care of me." I suggested as she waves it off.. "I will pay for the tickets myself but I would love, that if you could set some to the side for me." She asks me as I smile at her stating, "I'm going to be at a booth right outside the theater selling tickets tomorrow afternoon.. stop by anytime before 4 and I'll be there." "Ok that sounds like a plan! Well let's rub this on there so there is no irritation and you're all done.. so same time next week?" She asks so nicely, that I just nod and hand her the money with a tip involved, of course. "Thanks again.. see you tomorrow." I say to her as I waved and left the place to head to my theatre practice.