Begging for rejection

Chapter 16 - Decisions

Alexandria POV

I inhale the sandwich Sophia made for me and after I’m finished Sophia comes to me and says “So what about a tour of the house?”.

“Sure” I say a little excited, I really was intrigued with how big it was and I really never stayed in a pack house before.

We leave the boys in the kitchen and head to the elevator… yes, they have a freaking elevator inside their house.

“Let’s start from the bottom up” Sophia says as she pushes the elevator button.

We start the tour of the mansion, house my ass, this place is huge, the first floor was the kitchen, the dining hall, the arcade room, yes, they had a f*****g arcade in the damn house that’s how big it is and a small movie theatre plus a huge living room and that’s just the first floor.

The second floor contained of a big library, a formal dining room for when the alpha have guests, the alpha, beta, gamma and Luna offices and a conference room.

The rest of the second floor was divided by a huge double door, behind which were rooms of the other pack members who choose to live in the pack house, almost all of these rooms were with ensuite bathrooms.

The third floor and half of the fourth floor was the same, rooms for the pack members with the other half being for the not so important guests like Sophia said and the fifth floor was for the VIPs guests and the suites of the three ranking members and their mates and of course that gorgeous kitchen.

We go to the kitchen to get something to drinks, that tour was exhausting with how big the house was.

I grab a water bottle and sit down by the counter, Derek comes and sit on the stool next to me and says “hey, if you are done here, let’s talk in my office, okay?”.

I nod my head and suddenly my throat is dry again so I gulp the rest of the bottle in one take, what’s gonna happen now?, I think to myself.

Derek and I head to his office, we walk in awkward silence till we reach his office’s large mahogany double doors and I’m nervous all of a sudden.

Is this it? Is he going to reject me now?... why am I nervous? It’s what I wanted … right?, I keep thinking to myself as we enter the office and I’m seated on the couch or what I like to call it Dean’s couch while he sits on the chair opposite to it.

It’s the first time I actually notice how big his office is, it even have a big fireplace right across from where I’m seated, a sitting area with 2 chairs and a couch in front of it and huge big windows from the ceiling to the floor on each side of it.

“First, I need to apologies…I should have had more control over Rex, I never imagined he would hurt you, that we would hurt you… I’m so sorry, I promise you that will never happen ever again” he promises me looking straight into my eyes, I feel the truth behind his words and I believe him.

“It’s okay, I understand… that couldn’t have been easy for you either, to find out that the mate you’ve been waiting for is your nemesis” I say offering him a gentle smile.

“Yeah, I guess the moon goddess likes to torment me … and about all the things I said about Luke” I don’t let him finish and cut him off.

“Oh no, that one is on me… I know what I was doing and how that would affect you…I just thought that if you knew I had a husband you’ll just reject me and let me go, but we saw how that backfired” I say chuckling a little.

“Still, I’m sorry for what I said and for what happened to you” he says with eyes full of emotions.

“It didn’t happen to me, it happened to them… and it will happen to you if I stayed here for long”.

“You don’t need to worry about me I can handle myself; this pack won’t easily go down”.

Is he for real?, he doesn’t get it, He doesn’t understand the risk, Adam will come after me no matter what, he is not easy to be taken down either, believe me I’ve been trying.

I feel all my anger and frustration of my situation coming back; I stand up raising my voice as I say “But it can, and why risk it in the first place, I’m not worth it”.

“BUT YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING” he shouts while standing up as well and I’m speechless.

He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration and takes a deep breath to calm himself down.

“Don’t you get it? I’ve been searching for you for the last 10 years… do you know how long that is?... I finally find you and you are everything that I ever wanted … beautiful, strong, and selfless… I know what you are doing is just to protect me and who else would forgive someone so easily after choking them, you have a big heart too” he says taking slow steps towards me with every word and I’m not backing away.

“And I got all that from spending just few days with you” he reaches his hands up lacing his finger in my hair till his hand reaches the back of my head while his other hand goes around my waist pulling me towards him, I involuntarily put my hand on his arm and my other hand rest on his shoulder, he rests his head on my forehead, our noses touching and I can feel his breath on my lips as he says “you don’t know your worth… you are priceless”.

I feel my knees go weak as his lips brushes mine, he is about to kiss me and I want him to…no, I have to stop this.

“Stop” I barely whisper as I push him a little bit away, far enough to see his eyes.

“Why” he says pleading me with his eyes to let him kiss me.

“Because you are wrong, I’m not strong, I’m on the run and hiding and I’m not selfless, I’m not protecting you, I just don’t want another death on my conscious” he shut his eyes for a moment clenching his jaws then reluctantly lets me go.

I know what I said was harsh, and it hurts me saying it as it hurts him hearing it but this has to stop, I can’t fall for him and he can’t fall for me.

He needs to remember that I’m a hunter and I’m far from that perfect woman that he is describing.

He walks away and goes to sit on his desk chair while I sit on the chair in-front of it.

“you know it’s not just about me, if your pack knew who I truly am they-” I start to explain but Derek cuts me off “They will never accept you, I know, and if word gets around there is no telling what the other packs would do, I can’t put my people’s life at risk, someone like you can’t be my Luna” Derek says with expressionless face.

This last part really hurt, someone like me?... but it’s only fair I just did the same to him.

“Then it’s settled” I tell him mimicking his expressionless face.

“Yes, the rejection is going to be painful and I’ll be vulnerable for a couple of days and we just had a rogue attack plus the neighboring pack is already waiting for any reason to take us down, so just let me make sure everything is settled and secure then I’ll do what needs to be done” Derek says all business now.

With that, I nod not really having anything else to say then stand up and start walking to the door as soon as I touch the knob I feel him coming up behind me, he puts his hand on mine stopping me from turning the knob and opening the door,

I look back at him and my back is just inches away from his chest, he looks down at me and says

“just know you’ll always have a special place in my heart and whatever I do from now on is not with the intentions to hurt you”.

I look at him confused and he lingers a kiss on my temple and says “I will miss you Ria” and with that he lets go of my hand and heads back to sit on his desk.

I stand confused for a second then open the door and leave… what does he mean by that?, as I walk down the hall, I touch where he kissed me and wish it was on my lips, I look up and I find Sophia waiting for me, I look back and see Dean and Dylan going into the office.

What’s going on? And when did they get here?

I reach Sof and she grabs me and turns me around and back checking my body “what the f**k are you doing Sof?”.

“Checking for injuries of course, you know every conversation you two have ends up with s**t been thrown around or somebody bleeding … oh and a rogue attack” she says dead serious and I burst out laughing and she laughs with me.

She is totally right, every time me and Derek argue it ends up in disaster.

“Your room is ready, you did a number in there” Sophia says with disapproving look then start yawning and I start yawning with her, it’s after midnight and today was a long day, I know I just woke up few hours ago but I’m tired physically and emotionally.

We say our goodnights and we each head to our rooms I enter my room and to my surprise it actually looks spotless with new furniture.

Did they have them already stored? Do people go apeshit crazy often in this place and destroy the furniture? I can’t think anymore and just dive into bed and spread my limbs looking like a star fish and fall asleep.