SHATTERED HEARTS

18

Alex's POV

Uncoiling myself from the position I had coiled into once he's gone I push myself against the wall groaning out in the process as I did so and I should have just stack coiled if I didn't want all the pain that came from moving about but any pain that I can get my hands on is always welcome. I pushed myself next to the cell's bed and pulled myself up with the help of its edges and for a moment I was glad I got the lower one.

I pulled myself up and successfully managed to sit on the tiny bed before laying myself on it as I let the pain from the movements sink in every nerve as well as the pain of the hits. I never once tried fighting back, there was no point really when I wanted more like needed this pain and kept calling for it. And well most people were accommodative of the presence of a weak inmate who couldn't even defend himself. They found a toy to let out their frustrations on and I gladly let them. At times the beatings escalated but not even then I fought, I mean I had done worse, this beatings were nothing compared to what I did not even when it escalated to something else. I deserved this and more. The officers never really seemed to care, at times they did but other times they just watched on. It depended on who had his hands on me at the time, and whenever it was Dom I knew no officer would come to help not that I wanted them to and I appreciated their nonchalance, in a sick way I was glad when I got moved to the same cell as Dom. He had requested it. Didn't know who he was to be calling the shots but I didn't care. All that mattered was I got my pain whenever. That was all I lived for.

The only downfall to all this was I couldn't be with my old man. I was worried about him. I was not gonna lie, I almost drove back home the day I had decided to turn myself in just so I could stay with him.

I had driven the evidence myself to the police station that day after I had remembered the car that I had not allowed myself to use over the years after one of my failed turn ins.

I had forgotten that in my hazy mind I had driven it to apartment in the city. One I had gotten Dad to get me in my freshmen year in campus. I had to do alot of errands in his office in exchange but I didn't mind. Instead of getting me the tiny apartment I had shown him he had gotten me a three bedroom apartment and a guest and I couldn't have been more happy, same design as the tiny apartment I had wanted. I had thought of so many things I'd do to the place of cause with her help but well...

I remembered I had ditched the car there. Took a taxi and just as I had left it, it was still there untouched. I had called my old man then because I knew if I walked into his office I might not go through. But then again just looking at him would have been enough motivation to turn myself in. I was a disgraceful son, I didn't deserve his love and he didn't raise me to be a monster.

Called him before chatting with him for a while telling him I was okay and he didn't have to worry about me like he had been doing the last few years before dropping the bomb. I knew my father had connections and he would get me home as soon as my ass was presented with a case. And I didn't want that. I also didnt want him to hear about all this from someone calling him to inform him that I was in jail.

Told him I was going to turn myself in and he shouldn't do anything to alter that. We argued a lot him trying to understand why I'd do that and me not willing to tell him how much of a disgrace I was. In the end he ended up asking till when I'd be in there and I told him I didnt know.

He asked again what it is I had done. Told me he'd find out what my charges were if he wanted but he wanted me to tell him myself and I finally did. Tried not to cry as I told him everything I had done and from the silence I knew he was probably going to disown me but him snifling on the other end undid me. I cried even more, tears I had been holding back but they couldn't be held back anymore. I had told him if he disowned me I'd understand but he told me he needed time but he would never disown me, I was his only son but I had disappointed him. That statement had cut across my heart like a live bullet. I can still feel its impact even today. He had told me to do what needed to be done. He had wanted to know the girl but that I dont think I'd be able to tell him. It'd torment him the more. He had met Kate back then and he had of cause joined mum in teasing me afterwards saying I had great taste in choosing a girlfriend. I didn't want him knowing I was even bigger of a monster than the one he thinks I am. I am the worst disappointment ever. I had disgraced not only my father but my mother may her soul rest in peace. The thoughts of my old man drove me back to my dilemma.

The last time I saw him, he had come over after a month of me being sentenced, he didnt look okay and I knew I was to blame. I had caused him all that anguish. He was supposed to be retiring but even that I wasn't letting him do so in peace. I was the epitome of a bad son, a disgrace in human. And even though I told him not to come here. I knew he wouldn't listen so I told him I wouldn't see him even if he did. I was being selfish but I didn't want him being dragged to this. Him visiting prison every now and then, I couldn't subject him to that. This was my own path I was meant to walk alone and not drag others along in it. I deserved all this but not him.

He had made me promise to keep contact instead and I did. He was the only one I was talking to. Everyone else I had ghosted them. Well, that just consisted of Scarlett and her friend Trevor I think only. I didn't want to see anyone. Didn't want to burden them with the visitations. And most of the time I was a piece of art marked black and blue, that'd just worry them even more. The last thing that I wanted.

I closed my eyes as I let my thoughts go back to the dilemma in question and stop wondering around, to my old mans voice the last time I had talked to him over the phone and I really was worried.

He had been coughing though he tried to suppress it most of the time I could still hear him. And his voice was weak. This alone worried me adding to the last image I had of him, the worry just double up.

It might be nothing but still I was worried and he was the only one I got in this life if something happened to him I'd die. I had friends but that would be until they found out what I did which would be soon and they'd no longer want to be friends. I can practically see Scarlett all mad at me for destroying her friends life. I know I won't have any of them to call my friends by the end of all this then I'd have just my old man which was why I said he's all I got I can't loose him. Its selfish of me but I want him alive when I walk out of here. If I'll ever do.

I was in the right mind to call Scarlet but knowing her she'd start giving me lectures and I didn't want that so that only resulted to Trevor. I didn't know the guy well but Scarlet had mentioned that they were close before. I hoped he could really give me an insight. I know Scarlett would in no doubt take care of paps as she considers him her father but I needed to know. Well that was if I could get up from here. Or I could talk Dom into letting me use his phone and I'd have to pay back somehow and I wasn't going to like that transaction but I didnt mind at all.

"Dom." I called more like cloaked out but I didnt know if he heard as I was met with silence, so I called again and I could tell he heard me from the gruff he made.

"You've grown some balls, calling me like I was your b***h this late." He let out and on any other day I'd have ignored him but I needed to know if my father was okay or there was something he wasn't telling me.

"I need a favor." I voiced out.

"At this hour boy the only favor you're going to get from me is a nose bleed if you don't shut the hell up." He let out and I groaned in annoyance.

"Can you just do me the favor first then you can do the kicking later on." I asked beyond frustrated

"What do you want boy?" He groaned and I could tell his level of annoyance too was growing. At this we'd just end up driving each other crazy. This wasn't the first time I had pushed this had only then I was pushing in order to get a beating and now I was pushing to get my hands on a phone.

"A phone." I said.

"Wait for your turn to make a phone call tomorrow. Now shut up I'm not in the mood to get my hands soaked just after I took a bath." He let out. At this point I was playing a game that would result with me wounded and on the floor again I knew it from his voice but I wouldn't let go. Kept pushing till he was standing by my bed with my his hands on my shirt as he pulled me close to his face. I still kept pushing my case and he almost smashed me to the ground but in between at some point he didn't. Dont know why but I was glad.

"One phone call. Thats all you get and if it doesn't get answered we're done." He called as he let one arm go from my shirt before shuffling along his bed and he got a Burner phone out before asking for the number and I recited the number thanking heavens I was good at memorizing numbers. He dialed before putting the phone next to my ear still with his other hand holding my shirt and me close to him. The phone rang and as Dom kept looking at me as if he'd tear me apart. I almost thought Trevor wouldn't pick up till I heard his gruff voice.

"Yeah, who is this."

"Its me Alex." I let out hoping he'd know who it was and not start asking which Alex from Dom's look I could tell I didn't have time.

"Alex, how are you calling me at this time and why."

"Well I dont have time to chat I need to know if my father is okay." I questioned and he let out a sigh.

"Scarlett is taking care of him." He said and I frowned at his answer.

"Thats not a good enough answer. Now can you tell me." I replied frustrated.

"He is okay, He just caught a cold otherwise he is okay but doc told him to lay down the work for a while." Trevor said and I sighed, but then I remembered Dad didn't have anyone to hold the business for now. I was the stand in and I'm here, Scarlet can't she's a nurse and Trevor a doctor, well I'm f****d.

"Who is standing in." I asked even if I knew I was opening room for a discussion I wasn't ready.

"Your dad said something about a cousin of yours, so yeah. You should have been here." He said and I sighed.

"Not now Trevor Gotta go." I said as I looked at Dom who took the phone away from my ear before ending it then he detached the battery and the card from the phone.

"I'll take my cut sometime later on." He said and I sighed before he let me Go. I knew what that statement meant and I had known this was an option when I was asking for the phone. It had happened a few times but this would be the first time that I had gotten something from it. Didn't mind any bit of it, I knew I deserved everything the dished me but I'm at least glad i got to know my old man is doing fine, And I'm sure Elle would do a good Job trying to hold up the company till my old man got there. I just regret that my old man was going through all this stress and I wasn't there next to him, helping him. But I'm glad he's okay. Its only a little more to two years till I'm back. I hope he can hold on till then.

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