SHATTERED HEARTS

16 - Stubborn

Third person's POV

Katherine walked inside to the sight of both babies curled up around rose and she let out a sigh before walking over to them where they sat in the little two sitter couch that was just after the front door. Rose looked up once she heard the sigh that Katherine let out and gestured towards the babies which had Katherine picking up the little girl who grumbled something before snuggling more into her mother. They were asleep. She sighed sadly.

She didn't like coming home to them asleep but at times it couldn't be helped and it made her feel guilty but she tried in return spending as much time as possible with them whenever she was free. She thought as a smile curved along her face as she thought of tomorrow. It'd be on a Sunday and she'd get time to spend with them. She had missed them a lot. She thought as the smile disappeared from her face at the thought of how much time she spent away from them. She cradled Carly further into her embrace as she made to walk to the bedroom.

Rose stood as well before they both headed to the not so large bedroom and they tucked the babies in. It wasn’t a large house it was a one bedroom tinny apartment but Katherine didn’t find an issue with it. As long as she and her little fellas had a place to stay it was all good. And they fit in all right.

Though the place wasn’t large somehow she had managed just well. A tiny kitchen, a combo washroom, a not so large living area and a bedroom, that was okay for now. The bedroom consisted of a double bed on one side of the room as the banker single bed occupied one side making some sort of L and then there was a small closet on the other end that was opposite the double bed and next to the banker bed and a drawer next to it. The door was just ahead at the empty side. Though the room was a bit squeezed it was okay for now and she planed to move out soon once she sorted the kindergarten fees. Katherine thought before proceeding to tuck the little girl on the lower bed. Before she took Charlie from Rose's arms and tucked the little guy in as well. Carly never liked high places and as much as Charlie was ready to for go the upper one Carly didnt want it which Charlie gladly took.

After making sure the babies are both comfortable Katherine walked out and walked by the kitchen area before grabbing a glass of water before walking back to the living area where she joined Rose who had followed her back.

"You seem tired, each day I see you it keeps getting worse, you know I could always lend you a hand right." Rose sighed as she looked at the girl who had become her bestie over the few years they had known each other for.

"I’m okay, I’m not fragile and you know my answer already about your proposal. I just need to sleep it off." Katherine answered before she tossed a hand and ran it through her short hair that was rapidly growing into a bob, she didn’t feel like shaving it again, she had been doing so for a couple of years but now she just wanted to let it grow back till she felt like cutting it.

"You really are the most stubborn person I know. It's not like I’m taking you for charity case but I want to do it for my friend and those little fellas in there, you could take it as a loan if you wish and would give it back one day but at least let me help you." Rose begged but as she looked at Katherine she could tell the answer just before she was even given it. This frustrated her even more she could tell that her friend was struggling, she had been ever since they met but she refused any help at all, stubborn as ever.

"No Rose, I’m okay and besides you are helping, you gave me that job, an office assistant so yeah you’ve helped. When I need help I’ll ask." Katherine answered.

"You really are a stubborn one." Rose said frustrated.

"So I have been told." Katherine let out as a sad smile crept onto her face and as soon as it was there it disappeared, if Rose hadn’t been looking at her trying to read her so that she wouldn’t end up strangling her she would have missed it. But seeing her friend back to the stubborn and tired girl from a few seconds ago she let it go.

"Promise you’ll come to me if you need anything even if I wont have it we’ll find a way." Rose said pointedly making Katherine groan.

"Promise me Katherine.” Rose pushed.

"Fine I promise.” Katherine let out. And a silence that wasn't uncomfortable engulfed them.

****

"Thank you Rose, for looking after them and me too." Katherine said after some time. And Rose pulled her into a hug.

"Don’t make me sentimental right now. You don’t need to thank me I’ll always be there for you." Rose whispered.

"Now you’re making me sentimental." Katherine said and the two chuckled before they let go. And Rose looked at Katherine with a serious expression that had Katherine sighing and slumping her shoulders.

“When was the last time you slept Kathy.” Rose questioned looking at her friend with worry creeping in, from the posture that Kathy had assumed she knew the answer but she needed for Kathy to talk to her which was why she prodded and she made sure the girl was cornered. Talking would always help unbound someone from the torture and the fight within and it would have her understanding her friend better and they could reason together and work out a solution. More so even if it couldn’t, talking always releases the burden within. And she wanted her friend to have that. Unleash her troubles.

“Yesterday Rose.” Kathrine answered with a tone that suggested that she didn’t want to discuss the topic that was being brought up but knowing her friend and the look she was being given she sighed once more before looking away from Rose.

“They are back but they’re not as terrible as they were before.” Katherine said in a low voice if anything she didn’t wish to discuss this subject more so with her kids just the next room. Just as she had expected Rose didn’t say a word she always did this and Katherine appreciated it.

Letting her unwind at her own pace in telling her what was up with her. She never liked the apologies in between and the words of comforting her which never really did. And Rose understood that. Katherine looked at their interlocked hands where Rose was rubbing a few circles here and there probably unconscious of her actions or conscious whatever it was the little gestured, she appreciated it, it kept her mind from being too consumed.

“I don’t want to go back to that but at the same time I can’t seem to help it. Especially whenever I look into Carly’s eyes for longer than needed it takes me back there. I don’t want to associate my daughter with him in whatsoever way possible but I can’t help it. I have tried to flap the images around with my daughter instead of him. Instead of seeing his agonized eyes I try to picture the face of Carly smiling at me and it was working, and then it just stopped. And now whenever I look at her eyes for more than a while images of that night keep coming back and its terrifying. I can’t be that mother Rose. I can’t be the mother who hates her child just because of the unfortunate events that occurred that was never the child’s mistake.” Tears flew from Katherine’s eyes as she looked down at her hands trying to calm herself down. She couldn’t be crushed by this it was already five years. Five years and still the thought of everything that happened threatens to take her back to that hole. And now not only was she at the receiving end of it but her daughter could possibly be. Then what good was she for being around if she let that happen. That was even more cruel than her mother had been leaving her behind, at least… no she couldn’t go there.

She thought.

“I can’t let the memories drown me like this Rose. It’d kill me to live to a day that I’d not even be able to look at my daughter. And it’d all be my fault for allowing myself to. I love both of them so much and I can’t have all this bulkiness swallowing me up and destroying the little family that I was gifted.” Katherine added before wiping her tears away with her other free hand then looked at Rose.

“If sleeping is what will cost me my daughter Rose, then I’m okay not having it. They’re my everything and I’d go to any lengths for them, and if it means less or no sleep at all, I’m ready, more so it only means I get to spend that little time with them even if they’ll be sleeping I know it will be more worth than sleeping.” Katherine whispered the words out before finally looking at Rose willing her to understand her.

“I know it’s not healthy and don’t go all doctor on me right now. But it's what I need, right now else I'll hate myself even more.” Katherine said and Rose sighed before she spoke up.

“I’m not about to.” She whispered.

“I’m glad I wasn’t going to let you anyway. For now though can you drop the subject of my sleep pattern.” Katherine asked and Rose sighed, she had somehow foreseen this statement. And right now as much as she wanted to start advising Katherine on other methods to cope and what’s so not, she had to be the friend that her friend needed right then and not a doctor. She had given her advises that could last her a lifetime ever since they met that day.

“I’m sure John won’t mind if I stay out for one night.” Rose whispered and she braced herself for the argument that she knew Katherine would give.

“I’m sure he won’t mind but what would we be doing.” Katherine asked which surprised Rose and she gave Katherine a skeptical look.

“What I’m not about to turn your company away I could use some and well I’m sure John can survive a night without his cuddles but you need to tell him before he goes crazy waiting for you.” Katherine said in a teasing tone and Rose hit her shoulder playfully as a smile lit her face. Katherine was trying to distract herself Rose could tell and so she played along.

“Yeah, we don’t want him ruining girls night by barging in here.” Rose said as she took her phone out and started typing.

“God no, we don’t want that. I’ve been waiting ages for such an enticing evening we can’t have it ruined.” Katherine said as she bumped Rose’s Knee and whistled which had Rose hitting her once again as she chuckled. Her friend was a nutcase at times, She thought as a smile lit up her face as she read John’s text which had her being shoved.

“No, please no, don’t go all love sick puppy on me please, I can’t handle that.” Katherine said mimicking her friend’s all puppy eyed expression and then she wore a disgusted face that screamed ‘yaky' just as soon.

“No I was not. He was just saying goodnight.” Rose said and a beautiful blush spread across her cheeks which she patted before looking away, she couldn’t believe she was getting embarrassed this easily. Katherine cracked a smile seeing her friend’s flustered face.

“Come on cherry let’s get something to do to pass time for our girls night.” Katherine said as she emphasized on the cherry and Rose swatted her arm away that was tugging at her hand. She could tell Katherine was making fun of her and she looked at her mad before a smile soon mirrored on her face and both girls giggled.

God it was so nice to have a friend Rose thought as she looked at Katherine who had stood up and was going through a small box, she didn’t know what her friend was looking for but she knew whatever it was would be what they were going to use to kill time. And looking at Katherine right now she could see the five years she had known the girl were doing her some change. She looked way mature than the girl she had met five years ago.

Rose looked at her for a while longer and she couldn’t believe five years had gone by just like that. Who would have thought that the girl crying at her clinic five years ago would latter on be her friend. A smile crossed her face at this thought, and the fact that both of them didn’t mind the age difference at all it was crazy, she was about eight years older than the girl before her but that didn’t matter.

“Here.” Katherine interrupted her train of thoughts raising a deck of cards and Rose looked at the smile on Katherine’s face and even though she doubted playing decks would be fun she nodded because of it.

That smile was rarely there and whenever it was around it made you want to smile too and she’d do anything to keep it at that. She didn’t mind spending a night awake, moreover tomorrow was a Sunday and they both didn’t have any work.

Katherine had made her actually reconsider this. The girl worked even on the most ungodly hours but on Sundays she made sure her schedule was free to spend the day with her twins even though at times she’d go to church and then be back she made sure her Sundays were only exclusive for her kids and that challenged Rose to change her schedule, she used to clock in at her clinic eleven in the morning and at two she’d clock out, even though it was just a few hours she decided to do better especially now that she had the twins around and John seemed to appreciate that, even though at times she had to leave especially when there was an emergency and she’d be needed there.

“Bring it on.” Rose said and Katherine smiled before assuming her earlier position and shuffled the cards before laying them and the two braced themselves for a game night well more like poker night and every now and then Katherine would go and check up on the kids. There was a peaceful and happy vibe that both females felt and it gave them a hope for tomorrow being better how wrong they were for they didn’t realize then the damage they had inflicted.

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