Labels

BEVERLY'S POV And then I think to myself that maybe I was designed to be alone..- anonymous. It is not everyday that you hear about the most popular guy in school attempting to commit suicide. That was actually the last thing that I expected to hear this morning. I always knew that the first day of my senior year would be filled with a dreary attitude, because honestly, who likes the first day of school? But I never knew that dread was also going to mingle with the topic of death. "Why are we even talking about him?" "It is not like he actually died." "Who would have known that Everest was such a freak?" "He probably tried to kill himself because he realized how much of a demon Cara was. If I was dating the devil's spawn, I would try to kill myself too." I honestly thought that this was a rumor. A terrible rumor. Everest Finley is the most popular guy in school, so it is not that surprising that rumors would be circled around him. I once heard that he had an affair with the mandarin teacher, but then I realized that our school does not even teach Chinese. But even the teachers huddled outside their classrooms, glancing around every so often as they whispered in heated conversations. Taking sips from their ceramic coffee mugs and nodding their heads, as they engaged in their own whisper fest. I walked through the halls, stunned by how it seemed like no one even cared. These people practically worshiped the very ground that he walked on for the past three years. Everest was one of those people that you couldn't help but just like. I don't have any friends. Being one of the only black girls at a predominately white school made me stick out like a sore thumb. I didn't really fit in anywhere, so I am always kinda just thrown off to the sidelines. Although Everest was my complete opposite, he was admired by everyone. He is the quiet jock, and when he would talk, he would sound so polite and well educated. He was ridiculously amazing on the football field, and was so humble and modest about it. It seemed as though I was the only person who felt even an ounce of sympathy. Just because his body wasn't dead, doesn't mean that his soul wasn't barely living. I wonder what made him want to die. Everest had the whole world at his feet, so why did he want to leave it? I remember him picking up my books once. He didn't even look at me as he gave them back to me. My books fell off my desk as I scrambled to leave the classroom, and as he was walking down the aisle and out of the class, he bent down and laid it down on my desk. It was such a simple thing for him, for anyone to do, but I appreciated it anyway. That was just about the only interaction that I had with Everest Finley. After that day, though, I watched him. I know that sounds incredibly creepy, but I did. I noticed how he tugged on his lush sandy brown hair when he was thinking. I noticed how he was always polite and respectful, even when his friends were actually stuck up and rude. I noticed how his eyes weren't exactly blue or green. It was like the two colors were fighting for dominance, the blue in the lead most of the time. If one thing was for sure, Everest Finley had some breathtakingly beautiful eyes. I noticed how he laughed a lot and had one of those smiles that were perfect -- rehearsed even. Everest has been the topic of the whole school for all of today. By the time lunch rolled around, it was like hearing every conversation all at once. It was absolutely disgusting, and my heart went out to Everest at that moment. His girlfriend, Cara, sat at the usual popular table. A handful of cheerleaders and inbetweeners at her side as she cried. Nash Spive, Everest's best friend, wrapped his arm around Cara in an attempt to calm her down. "How could he do this to me? I cannot handle this kind of stress." The cafeteria was so loud, but I was able to make out the words that passed through Cara's lips. Nash's face held no kind of emotion as he rubbed her back in a soothing manner. I entered the line. "Everest is so selfish."  "Seriously, he really failed his suicide attempt." "His story is now on the news. Do you know how bad this makes our school look?" "Imagine if he comes back. That would be so awkward." "I don't care if he is crazy, I will still suck him." Hearing all of those conversations just made me realize once more just how sick humans really were. They were filled with no compassion. They were heartless. They were selfish. They didn't care to even try and understand, they just judged with no sympathy.  Their words made me sick. I can't even explain to you how happy I was that I didn't have to stand in the line anymore. Every conversation was about the boy who tried to kill himself. It was about the boy who was no longer labelled as the king of high school, but as the boy labelled as a crazy person who attempted suicide but failed. I bought my water and exited the line. I gripped the bottle as I passed the popular table and noticed that Cara was now laughing and smiling. That was quick. She must have reapplied her makeup when I was still in the line because her mascara was no longer running down her cheeks. I hurried and made my way to my spot. The one place where I could be alone and eat --the library. It is not like anyone notices that I don't eat lunch in the cafeteria. No one is ever in the library on the east wing. If someone were to need a book, they would use the library in the west wing of the school. When the new library had been built, it seemed as though everyone had forgotten the east wing library. Which now provides me with an escape from everyone. Sitting at one of the old oak tables, I pulled the brown paper bag out of my backpack and unscrewed the cap of my water before I took a sip. Alone.  But that is how I am used to being anyway, because that is what I have been labelled as, 'The invincible girl.'