My Darling Vanessa

The Interview

“HOW are you feeling right now?” Puno ng empathy na tanong ni Vivienne Salonga sa interviewee niya.

Nakatuon ang tingin ni Michelle sa orange flame sa fireplace at mesmerized niyang pinapakinggan ang mini-firecrackers na nangyayari sa pagtupok ng apoy sa nakalagay na mga dried barks duon. Very slowly na tumingin si Michelle kay Vivienne na akala mo ay nagising ito sa trance nang tanungin siya ng sikat na entertainment host. Hindi niya pansin ang nakapaligid na mga camera men at staff ng The Filipina Today sa living room ng nirerentahan nilang log cabin para sa kanyang interview.

“What should one feel if the love of your life suddenly left you for another woman, Vivienne?” Balik tanong ni Michelle sa interviewer. “Should I feel devastated? Should I sulk and stay inside my room all week? Should I be angry and cuss them to my heart content on TV and media?”

“You could do all that, Michelle. It’s your choice. You’re the one who is hurting. You could choose whatever way you want to feel and own your pain.” Malumanay na sabi ni Vivienne. Parang lumalabas tuloy na on-air therapy session na ang nangyayari imbes na interview.

“Ang hirap pala ng ganito, Vivienne.” Nagsimula nang mag-sparkle ang mga mata ni Michelle dahil sa namumuong luha. “I can’t function properly. I feel off-center eversince that night.”

“The night when Daniel didn’t show up on his birthday celebration at the Marriott?” Pagkaklarong tanong ni Vivienne.

“Yes.” Maigsing sagot ni Michelle na surreptitiously ay kumuha ng tissue sa box ng Kleenex na nakapatong sa table sa tabi ng couch niya. Ipinahid niya ang tissue sa gilid ng mga mata niya.

“Kaya ang nangyari, out of frustration after you learned that he’s not around for this celebration you meticulously prepared, you lashed out your anger for everyone to see, and was even video recorded which eventually was uploaded on the Internet.” Hindi question kung hindi parang declarative statement ito from Vivienne na hinihintay niya kung iko-confirm o ide-deny ni Michelle. O kung may babaguhin siya sa sequence ng mga nangyari.

Nag-sip muna si Michelle ng Earl Grey tea sa fine china cup bago sumagot. “Hindi ko siya ide-deny, Vivienne, because it was all captured on video. Pero you can’t blame me for being upset that night. I felt cheated on. And since Daniel was not around to lash out all of my anger and frustration on him, I,” nag-hesitate saglit si Michelle habang ine-edit sa isip ang sasabihin. Ibo-broadcast ito sa show niya. Kailangan piliin niya ang sasabihin at makakuha ng simpatiya sa audience at sa mga fans niya. “I did what everyone saw on the video.”

Pinasadahan saglit ni Vivienne ang cue card niyang hawak kung saan nakalagay ang mga balak niyang itanong kay Michelle. “Sabi mo you felt cheated on. Does this mean you already know or have an inkling that Daniel will be spending the eve of his birthday with the actress Vanessa dela Rosa?”

“I already know they’re seeing each other. For about six months. They met at a local film festival that Daniel’s network hosted and one of the films exhibited starred Vanessa dela Rosa. Naturally, she graced the festival gala and they were introduced to each other. At first, I only dismissed her as one of Daniel’s short lived flings. You know, Daniel and his army of flings. Now you see them, now you don’t. I thought Vanessa would be one of the short lived ones. I underestimated her stealth in stealing Daniel from me.”

“How and when did you realized that this isn’t just a fling but a really serious one?” Agad na sundot ng tanong ni Vivienne.

“He started spending more time with her. He prioritizes her more over me. I had to take a backseat because she got down with the flu and required his attention. Or she’ll celebrate her birthday in Hong Kong and wanted him to accompany her on a shopping spree. Him being late on our Valentine brunch at M Cafe because apparently spend canoodling with her at her condo last night. It hurts, Vivienne, to see your man slowly slipping away from you and you seem so helpless to do anything about it.”

“Hindi n’yo pinag-usapan ito ni Daniel or hindi mo man lang siya kinumpronta?” Passively na tanong naman ni Vivienne.

“Kinausap ko siya, Vivienne. We even fought. I even went the guilt trip route by asking him what would our son feel if he learned about his promiscuousness with this amoral actress. Pero wala. He wouldn’t budge with his resolve. And I know for a fact that he would drop me and Owen anytime to appease her mistress’ whims.”

Nag-sip muna ng tea si Vivienne bago ulit nagtanong. “So, you think Daniel is already in love with Vanessa and in return has fallen out of love with you?”

Kumuha muli ng Kleenex tissue si Michelle at ipinunas ulit ito sa nagluluha niyang mga mata. Tumango lang siya. Parang effort na kung magsasalita pa siya ay tuluyan na siyang humagulgol.

“How sure are you about this?”

Dumaan muna ang ilang segundo bago sinagot ni Michelle ang tanong ni Vivienne. “On the morning of his birthday, I met up with Daniel at the Marriott executive lounge. He confessed that he spent the night with Vanessa on a deluxe suite he paid for. He also told me that he already proposed to her...” Nag-caught ang voice ni Michelle. Itinakip niya ang hawak na tissue sa bibig. Sa akto ng paghikbi niya ay aakalain mo na hindi na niya kayang ituloy ang sagot niya.

“Are you okay to continue this?” Nag-lean over pa si Vivienne para hawakan sa kamay si Michelle.

Tumango naman si Michelle at pilit pinakalma ang sarili. Ilang beses pa siyang huminga ng malalim bago tinuloy ang sinasabi. “I slapped him. I cursed him on his face. And I don’t care if he fires me or ax my show on this network. He cheated on me. Binalewala niya ‘yung seven years namin of being together like it’s all for nothing. He dumped both me and our son Owen over this actress brings just because he’s finds her more appealing and exciting. And I’m angry, Vivienne. I’m revolted by them.”

Pagkatapos ng speech na ‘yon ni Michelle ay nag-lapse ulit siya sa pag-iyak. Duon na tumayo si Vivienne saka niyakap nito ni Michelle na nag-slump agad sa shoulders ng entertainment host. Para tuloy na-drain ang energy ni Michelle sa course ng interview niya with Vivienne.

Lumapit naman bigla si Owen na hawak ang Air Force One toy nito at kaagad na inusyoso ang Mommy nito na umiiyak habang yakap ni Vivienne.

“Mommy, why are you crying?” Inosenteng tanong ng unico hijo ni Michelle sa kanya.

Kumalas naman si Michelle sa embrace ni Vivienne nang marinig ang boses ni Owen at ito naman ang niyakap nito.

Nakatayo naman sa tabi ng cameraman si Julian at pasimple nitong pinapahid ang luha niya sa mata gamit ang thumb. Sino ba naman kasi ang hindi madadala sa interview ng kapatid niya? Ipinakita ni Michelle ang vulnerability na never pang nakita ng viewers niya sa show. At first time ding makita ni Julian na imbes na nagto-throw ng tantrums kapag upset ay ang helplessness nito ang ipinakita ni Michelle sa kinalabasan ng relationship niya kay Daniel sa interview session nito kay Vivienne Salonga.

“Hindi ako sanay na nakikitang ganyan si Michelle. I like her feisty side more kahit minsan I’m scared of it.”

Natigil sa pag-e-emo si Julian nang marinig ang boses ni Dexter. Tumabi pala ito ng tayo sa kanya, pero nakitingin pa rin ito sa eksena ni Michelle. Obviously, nag-cut na ang director ng show na si Jaypee at ngayon ay masinsinang nag-uusap sina Vivienne at Michelle. Nakayakap pa rin ang isang kamay ni Michelle kay Owen na okupado na ngayon sa paglalaro ng airplane toy nito habang pinapahiran ng Kleenex ang tears sa mga eyes niya habang nakatingin kay Vivienne.

Pinagmasadan saglit ni Julian si Dexter na cozily attractive sa suot nitong Gap cashmere sweater, Calvin Klein jeans at Koio Capri Castangna sneakers. May hawak pa itong cafe macchiato na nasa take-away cup ng Starbucks. Bakit alam ni Julian? Madalas niya kasing ini-stalk ang i********: ni Dexter at alam niyang ito ang madalas na orderin nitong kape sa Starbucks.

Inalis ni Julian ang tingin kay Dexter bago pa nito mahalatang nakatitig ito sa kanya at tiningnan ulit sina Michelle na nakapuwesto pa rin sa may fireplace. “Ako rin.” Mahinang pag-agree ni Julian kay Dexter.