My Jaded Love, Dangerous Desires

7

Oli POV

I step off the elevator and smile when she looks up at me.

Her eyes have a glimmer of mischief in them and it makes my heart flutter to see. She hasn’t looked at me like that for a long time now, and seeing it fills me with hope.

Her smile makes my heart feel light and makes my stomach flip with excitement.

I wish her face was the first thing I saw every morning and the last thing I saw at night.

That would make my life complete.

“Hey did you find a dress?” I ask.

She smiles and nods her head.

Her hair falls in front of her face and I can’t stop myself. I gently brush it behind her ear, making her cheeks blush a light shade of pink.

She looks into my eyes and I can see something brewing in them, something magical and promising.

“I’m sorry about the paper.” I blurt out, remembering why I had come down here in the first place.

I slide a small box of chocolates towards her.

She looks at them curiously.

“It’s ok. It was a good picture. What’s this?” She says, picking the box up and looking at them.

“A thank you for helping me pick out a tux.”

She smiled at me and my breath caught in my throat.

She is so beautiful.

Even without trying.

“You didn’t have to get me these. I had fun.”

“I was wondering if you're free at all later on?”

She looks up at me with a cheeky smile that I've missed immensely. This was her smile that held promises of exciting things. This was the smile she saved only for me, and seeing it made my heart soar.

“I finish work at 5. I actually wanted to talk to you. Maybe we could go to my place. Is that ok?”

She wanted to talk?

My heart started to race at the thought of her not wanting to see me anymore.

“Yeah, of course. Do you want me to drive you home or just meet you there?”

“I’ll take you if you want. I have my car here and you can get a cab back or just meet me at mine. It’s up to you.” She spat out quickly.

“I’ll come back with you,” I answered, smiling at her.

She was cute when she got herself all flustered.

“I’ll see you here at 5,” she said, smiling at me with that big and beautiful smile.

I walked back to the elevator, excited that she wanted to see me and worried about what she wanted to talk about.

I think back over everything we had spoken about the last few days, but nothing comes to mind.

“I just got off the phone with Cass. There are a few possibilities for some filming locations nearby and she’s asked if I can go and look at them. Do you want to come and check them out?”

Max’s voice was loud and clear, ringing out across the suite.

“Sure,” I grumbled, my mind still thinking about Cait and what she wanted to talk about.

Fück, it was going to be a long day, I thought to myself as I grabbed my stuff.

I found myself getting excited about the elevator door opening.

When it opened, it was the perfect view of the hotel's front desk, the perfect view of Cait.

The door slid open and her beautiful face smiled over at me.

“Oliver! Can I get a picture?”

A girl screeched, running towards the elevator.

Max stepped in front of me with his arm out to stop the girl from trampling me.

“It’s ok,” I smiled, patting Max on his shoulder.

The girl squealed more jumping up and down, passing her phone to Max.

She stood beside me smiling whilst Max took the picture, passing her the phone back.

“Thank you. I love you, Oliver.” She shouted excitedly.

Her voice was high and giddy.

She threw her arms around my neck tightly.

I tried to push her off, but it was like a Vulcan grip.

Max gently pulled the girl's arm off and I was finally free.

“Sorry, I just love you so much!” She screeched some more.

“It’s ok. I’ll see you around.” I said, walking away and rubbing my neck.

I’m sure she was trying to break it.

I glanced back over my shoulder to see Cait glaring at me.

Her eyes flashed with anger, and her brows furrowed.

“Shít.”

“What?” Max asked, looking back to see what I was looking at.

“What did you do?” He asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, completely clueless.

“I honestly don’t know. I bought her some chocolates.”

“Is she on a diet? Diabetic?” He pondered, genuinely trying to help me.

“No. I don’t think so anyway.” I looked back to see the glaring Cait was talking with her friend Mikayla now.

Great, that's all I need two pissèd off women.

“She doesn’t need to diet. She’s perfect the way she is.” I added.

Max shrugged.

“If you can understand women, you need to write a book, my friend. You will be the richest man alive.” He chuckled, climbing into the car.

The minutes seemed to tick by so slowly today, we looked at a couple of good locations for possibly filming here, which would be great because I would get to see Cait again.

As we drove back to the hotel, the pit in my stomach started to gnaw at me.

I felt sick thinking of what she could want to talk about, then the look she gave me as I was leaving.

I walk into the hotel foyer just as she’s walking out from a door behind the desk.

“Are you ready?” She asks, her voice flat.

“Yeah. Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She says snappy and cold.

Shít, I really don’t have a clue what I’ve done.

~~~

Cait POV

I felt good knowing tonight I was going to get everything off my chest.

I needed this more than I realized.

I never got to have this closure with Oli.

I needed this to move forward instead of always looking back.

I heard the ding of the elevator and glanced over to see his handsome, smiling face looking at me.

Then the bottled blonde platinum-haired bimbo from the other day bounced over to him, smiling and sćrėaming about how much she loved him.

He stood next to her whilst Max took his picture, then she practically pounced on him, her arms wrapped around his neck, and she pushed her face close to his.

My mind went to a dark place.

All I could think about was if he was sleeping with the blonde.

When he stood and posed for a picture with her, was he thinking of her in other ways than just a fan?

When she hugged him, was he thinking of taking it further?

Did he give her his number so he could meet up with her later?

“You’re deep in thought. What’s up?” Mikayla asked, snapping me from my hate-filled contemplations.

I saw him glancing back over his shoulder at me, and I couldn’t help the look I gave him.

“Nothing.” I snapped, making Mikayla put her folder of paperwork down.

She pulled my arm, so I turned to face her, her brows drawn together and her lips set in a hard line.

“Don’t give me that crap. You’re not fine. What did he do?”

I let out a huge sigh.

“Nothing! I’m mad because he had a picture with the bimbo who checked in the other day. She practically pounced on him. When I saw him with her, all I could think of was him and her. Together. What is wrong with me? I feel so bad for hating on that girl now as well.”

My stomach felt like it was twisted, a huge knot being pulled inside me.

Mikayla pulled me over to the other side of the desk and sat me down.

“You are a woman who has been hurt in the past. Hell, I’d be pissèd if someone was pawing all over my man and I wasn’t cheated on.”

“He’s not my man!” I say, raising an eyebrow at her.

“It’s natural to feel these things, Cait. He hurt you and you did everything you could to avoid him.”

Why did I have to tell Mikayla everything?

“Have you spoken to him yet? Actually sat down and spoke about what happened between you two?” I shook my head.

“He’s coming over tonight to talk. I listened to what you said and you're right. I can’t live in the past.”

“That’s my girl. You need this more than you realize. As for the bimbo, I wouldn’t sweat it. You show me a woman who would like a girl been like that with their man.” She swirled the chair around so I was facing the desk again.

She leaned down to my ear and whispered.

“Now get back to work.” Pushing me forward off the chair.

Just as I was leaving the back office where I kept my coat and bag, Oli walked into the hotel. He looked bleak.

But handsome still.

“Are you ready?” I asked, walking towards him.

“Yeah. Are you ok?” He sounded dispirited.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I snapped, sick of being asked if I’m ok and now feeling bad again for being mean.

The drive back to my house was filled with awkward silence.

The air was thick with tension and it felt suffocating.

“I’m just going to get changed. Make yourself comfortable. There’s some wine or beer in the fridge. Help yourself.”

I ran upstairs and put on some jeans and a loose cami top.

When I went back down, he was sitting on the sofa with a bottle of beer and a second one that he passed to me as I walked over.

I sat on the chair so I had space to think.

Being close to Oli made my brain think of other things.

“I want to talk about what happened 8 years ago.”

He tensed up, taking a sip of the beer and putting it down beside him.

“Ok.” He looked at me, waiting.

“Why?”

That was all I could think of at the moment.

“I was stupid. I had been out drinking all day and all night with my friends and I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. I honestly didn’t even know where I was or who I was with until I saw you standing there with that look on your face. I know that’s a shít excuse, but it’s honestly the truth. I don’t remember that night. Any of it. I don’t remember meeting any girls or even making it home. That night is a blank to me even now. I have tried so many times to remember why I did what I did, but I can’t. It’s just a void in my memories that ended with heartache. I have hated myself ever since that day.”

He looked agonized as he spoke.

“I tried to find you afterward. I even flew out to you, but I never saw you.”

“I know. I saw you.” I whispered.

He looked into my eyes, trying to see if I was telling the truth.

“I saw you sitting outside in your car. After the fourth day, you finally gave up and went home.”

I took another sip of my beer, hoping it would give me some courage to have the rest of this conversation.

“I didn’t give up. My mom called to tell me gran had passed. I had to go home. I came back after her funeral but they said you had changed dorms and they didn’t know which one you had moved to.”

I felt a pang of sadness in my chest hearing his gran had died whilst he was trying to see me, and I was surprised he came back.

I never changed dorms, and no one told me he came back either.

“I saw you again. After that. When my dad died, the night of his funeral. I saw you in your garden looking up at the stars.” He smiled, remembering the moment I was talking about.

“I wanted to be there for you, but I didn’t want to upset you more than you already were. I was wishing on a shooting star.”

“What did you wish for?” I asked.

“You to be happy and have a fulfilling life.”

His face was doleful.

I wanted to sit beside him and make him feel better, but I couldn’t.

I needed to do this.

“Did it happen more than once? Did you ever cheat on me with anyone else?” His eyes shone as he looked into mine.

“No, never. I would never do anything to hurt you, Cait. I don’t understand why I did what I did myself. I truly don’t. You were the only one I ever wanted.” He sounded sincere.

I looked at him, studying his face, and I could tell he was telling me the truth.

“What exactly do you want, Oli? From me, at this moment in time?”

“I want you to know how much you mean to me, how much I regret what happened back then. Even now, I still hate myself. I want you to be happy and have everything that you ever wished for and I want to show you I’m different. I want you to trust me again. I want us because, without you, my life has been void of any happiness. When I saw you, it was like the lights were switched back on for me.”

Wow!

“How could I trust you?” I asked.

His eyes shone, tugging on my heartstrings.

“I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust. I will be open and honest about everything. I will communicate with you and I will do my damnedest to make sure you know how special you are to me. How much I cherish you? I will spend the rest of my life proving to you I am worthy of your love. I know you can’t forgive me.”

My mind started racing.

Did he really mean everything he was saying?

Could I trust him again?

I could learn to trust him, I suppose.

“Cait. I can’t say that you will trust me again, but I will try my hardest to make you believe in me.”

He slid across the sofa so he was sitting closer to me.

He sat at the edge and took my hand in his.

My skin tingled from his touch and my stomach had butterflies fluttering inside.

“I’m sorry for what I did. Deeply from the bottom of my heart. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. It’s always been you.” I absorbed his words.

They bounced around my head.

“If I do this, how would it work? I live here and you live hundreds of miles away. How could I trust you when I wasn’t there? My mind would be constantly thinking the worst. I did it today with the girl asking for your picture.”

His face looked like it registered something before he smiled at me, moving closer so our knees touched now.

“I would move here for you if that’s what it took. I would fly back and forth for filming or take you with me. I don’t mind spending every waking minute with you. In fact, I would love nothing more. If you gave this a chance. I do what you say. We take things as slowly as you like.”

I took a deep breath.

My heart was telling me to go for it and my brain was in agreeance, both brain and heart in sync with each other.

“We take things slow. I mean it, Oli. I need to learn to trust you again.”

He smiled that big smile that makes my heart flutter.

“I will take it as slow as you want.” He leaned forward, but I pulled back.

His eyes flashed with hurt.

“I’m not there yet,” I said.

“Ok, can I take you out tomorrow?”

I smiled at him and nodded my head.

“Yes, I would like that.”

~~~

THE FOLLOWER POV

I found where she lives it wasn’t hard.

Some people are clueless as to what information is actually out there on the internet.

“Caitlin Holmes.”

Her name leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

Her home looks cute, typical.

A beautiful girl wins the heart of the movie star and has a cute home and cute town to go with it.

Everyone seems to love her here as well.

Everyone is so eager to give up information just to keep up the pretense of being friendly.

I stay back in the large bushes in her garden as I watch her.

Her movements are graceful, like a ballerina dancing a beautiful dance.

She glides past the window, looking elegant even in the drab uniform she has to wear.

I wait for her to leave.

She bounces down the path towards her car.

I wait a few moments to make sure she’s gone before making my way to her house.

I walk around the outside of it first when I spot that she leaves the window open for her cat.

“Ídíot.”

I laugh to myself.

I open the window wider and slip inside.

Her home is clean and cozy.

Images of her and Oliver flash through my mind as I look around.

I bet he enjoys spending his time here with her.

Who wouldn’t?

Anger courses through my veins, thinking of them together.

I make my way to her bedroom, opening and closing the drawers to see what she has.

I pick up some of her lacy underwear and place them back down, and notice something tucked underneath the knickers at the back of the drawer.

It’s a purple vibrator with one of the bunny heads that vibrates against your c**t.

“One of those girls.”

I throw it back into the drawer, looking over to her bed.

I lay down resting my head on the pillow and imagining how she feels laying down here with Oliver.

“What makes you so special?” I muse to myself.

Yeah, she’s pretty, and she seems nice.

I saw her opening the door and letting people walk through whilst she held it for them and she let a man who only had milk go before her in the store.

But I can do that stuff.

A noise from downstairs startles me.

I inch towards the door, putting my ear against it, listening.

I can’t hear anything.

I pop my head out, but I still don’t hear anything.

I sneak through the house, checking to make sure no one is here when I see her cat. A black thing with white paws.

“Hey pûssy cat,” I say as I run my hand over the small feline.

“You wanna come home with me?”

I pick the cat up and make my way back to my hotel.