Fae Second Chance

Chapter 12 -Does he love me

Chapter 12

I am sitting at my desk that morning going over everything I heard John and his dad talk about the night before.  It sounded like John didn’t know about the persuasion.  Maybe he didn’t, maybe he knew I was fae but not that he was using my powers for his benefit, maybe I had read this all wrong.  I still had questions about the ‘research’ he was doing and why David thought I could be dragged into it.  I stared at my computer more confused than ever.  I am tapping my pen on the desk and decide to call Jordan.  I call her on the office phone still not quite trusting the cell phone.  She answers on the first ring.

“You, okay?”

“Yes, I need to talk.” I hurry out the rest because I feel silly worrying over all this, “I heard John and his dad talking last night.”

“Oh no, what did they say?”

“That John is doing some type of research that is not associated with why he was sent here.  Also, his dad told him he should stop unless he wanted to drag me into it.  John said that I did not know I was magic and thought I was human and to leave me out of all this.  I do not think he knows he is using my gift.”

Jordan was quiet for a moment.  “Are you sure he doesn’t know?”

“I don’t know.  I don’t know anything right now.  I want to believe him.  I hate the idea of my marriage being a sham for all these years.”

“Yes, I can understand that.  Do you still love him?”

I groan out in frustration.  “I don’t know.  I am such a mess.  What should I do?”

“I thought you should have left him when you first found out he knew something, but ultimately that is your decision.  If you still have feelings and want to make it work that is up to you.”

“You are not helping,” I groan. 

Jordan starts laughing, “Not trying too.  What did he say about the research?”

“Nothing much, I just heard that the government doesn’t know, and he is working with some organization.  They didn’t say much.  Oh, and John’s dad has some contacts on the magic and government side, and both seem pretty well informed.”

“That does not surprise me.  Large corporations are usually a lot more plugged in than the government is.  They have the money to throw around and get information.  What about this organization he is working with?”

“I have no idea who they are, he kept saying that he is working for ‘them’ and ‘they’ will not know, I am just assuming he is working for someone.”

“Yes, that make sense.  With the information you showed me there is no way he could be doing this type of research on his own.” 

I can hear Jordan tapping something on her desk.  Finally, she says, “I will let Peter know what you told me, but I truthfully think you should get out of there.  I am afraid that you are going to stumble across something really dangerous.”

“I want to know the truth about everything and if I leave all I will know is that he knew something about me.”

Jordan hums into the phone, “Just admit it, you want to know if he actually loves you or if he is just using you.”

“Yes, I do want to know if he loves me.  He’s been my husband for these last 8 years.  I don’t know who I’ll be if I leave him.”

There is silence on the phone.  God, I sound pathetic. I hate that I have become that woman who needs her husband to have any self-worth.

Jordon finally clears her throat and says, “Well, it is up to you if you leave or stay.  Just know I’ll be here for you if you need anything.  And Amelia, please be careful.  We do not know what he is doing exactly, and I would hate for anything to happen to you.”

“Thank you, Jordan.  I really mean that.  It has been a long time since I have had such a good friend.”

I hang up the phone and feel more confused instead of less.

I decided I would see where I stand with John.  I fix us a nice romantic dinner and waited.  After a few of hours I look up at the clock to see how incredibly late it is.  The food was cold hours ago and the candles are now burned down to nubs.  I have drunk half the bottle of wine waiting for John and I am just furious with him now.  I cleared the table of the food, but I left the evidence of the candles, wine, and flowers to see if he would notice.  I then went to bed and cried myself to sleep.  I was angry and confused and I thought this would help me figure some things out.

I was woken up by John crawling into bed.  I kept my eyes shut and pretended to sleep.  I didn’t want to talk to him.  I was still hurt by him not coming home at a decent hour.  I realize that I was not as important as his job or his father!  While his dad was here, he was home at a decent hour every day.  He settled and went to sleep.  He didn’t even kiss me.  My heart breaks again as I try to go back to sleep.

The next morning, I am treating John to the silent treatment, and I am not even sure he notices it.  I think he finally realizes he is missing something when he walks into the living room and notices the table.  The candles are puddles of wax, and the flowers are drooping.  The plates and wine bottle are still sitting there.  There is one lone glass with the remnants of wine but everything else looks untouched and just plain sad.

He looks at the table and back at me.  I have my arms crossed against my chest and I am staring angrily at him. “What’s this?” he asks.

“Nothing, just a romantic dinner I planned.  I thought we could spend some time together, but you never said anything about being late so . . .” I wave my hand at the sad table.

He looks over the table again and back at me. “Sorry babe, I got caught up at work.”

I am stunned and I am looking at him as if he has lost his mind.  “Uh, huh.” I grunt and I walk past him to the kitchen to start the coffee.

 He follows behind me and wraps his arms around me pushing his front to my back and whispering in my ear, “I could come home early tonight?”

I pull out of his arms and turn to face him.  I know he can see the angry on my face and I push away from him further. “Sorry, all out of candles. But the leftovers are in the fridge.  Enjoy.”

I storm out of the kitchen and grab my briefcase.  I will get coffee on the way to work.  I slam the door as I leave the apartment.  He calls my phone a several times as I walk to work.  I hit decline every time. I finally calm down a little and walk into the small coffee shop y my office.  I am standing in line when a text pops up.

John: Answer your phone damn it.

Amelia: Why?

John: So, I can say I am sorry.

Amelia: You just said it.

The phone rings again and I shake my head and answer it. “What?”

“Why are you being so sensitive about all this.  I had to work.”

“You could have called or text to tell me you were going to be late, but no, I don’t deserve that kind of consideration.”

“Now, you are just being silly.”

“Fine, you apologized so I am hanging up now.”

“Amelia, wait . . . “

I hang up the phone before he can finish that statement and I order my coffee.  The phone rings a couple more times and I decline all the calls again.  As I walk into the building, I turn the phone off.  I really do not want to talk to him right now.  I am not worried he will show up here.  I am pretty sure he has no idea where I work and there are too many magic people for him to tolerate.

Work seems long today, and I am still fuming at John and in a really bad mood.  By the time I reach our apartment I am determined that I will go out tonight.  I have no idea where and I don’t want to disturbed Jordan during the evening when she is with her family.  I have basically made up my mind that I will drop off my stuff and go out to dinner by myself and just walk around the park.  John can sit here by himself when he finally comes home and wonder where I am for a change.

As I step into the apartment the smell of roses assaults my senses.  Everywhere I look there is a bouquet of flowers. There are new candles on the table and take out containers of food sitting on the kitchen counter.  John is coming out of his office/bedroom looking very pleased with himself.

“I thought we can try to do this again.”  He says smiling at me.

I am a little in shock as I take in the scene.  I am thinking about telling him no and turning around but he has this sad hopefully look in his eyes and I just can’t.  “Yes, that would be nice.”

His smile gets bigger, and he comes up to kiss me lightly on the lips and takes my briefcase from my hand. “You know I love you so much right.”

“Yes,” I stutter. “I love you too.”

He sets my briefcase down and pulls me to the table.  He holds the chair out for me, and I sit down.  He then escapes to the kitchen and reemerges with the food he bought. He serves me Thai food, his favorite and pours me a healthy glass of wine. We eat and chat about nothing in particular.  I am happily buzzed and full when John stands and comes over to me.  He pulls me up and hits a button on his phone and I hear soft jazz flowing through the portable speaker somewhere in the room.  John swings me around and starts to slow dance with me.  We have not done anything like this since we were first married so many years ago.

I do not know if it is the wine or the romantic mood, but he leans down and kisses me.  The kiss gets deeper, and his hands start to run up my back tangling into my hair.  He pulls back a few minutes later and smiles at me and takes my hand to lead me away from the table.  He stops momentarily to blow the candles out and finally leads me to our bedroom.  As the door clicks close, I think what the hell am I doing.  But I know what I am doing, I just want to feel loved and wanted again.  I loved the way this made me feel like when we first met, and he was my everything.  I just want to feel normal again.  As John kisses and touches me, I lose myself into the feeling and just relax.  I will deal with all of this tomorrow, for tonight I am just going to be a wife in love with her husband.