Cry of Heart

Chapter 3: A New Found Friend

KAI

"You have no right to decide for me. You f*****g people always get to decide about my life! When will I get the chance to decide for my own?" He furiously said with tears in his eyes. I saw his pain through those words. I was about to explain why I did it, but he tried to grab the bread knife sitting on my left. I was shocked, but was able to slide it away from him. Then, he ran. I was wrong for thinking he's going to kill himself in front of me—which really scared me to the bone. He's just diverting my attention so he could run away. Clever. I snapped back to the moment, it's not time to adore his wit. I called his name, but he ignored it. I ran to the counter and paid for the food we ordered, which we didn't even touch. Then, followed Aiden outside. I took a quick look at Aiden's parents who just entered the diner. They're both looking around, finding their son.

"I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Serrano." I mumbled and walked outside. There I saw Aiden running and took a left turn. I followed him immediately. My heart felt like exploding for I know what the dangers I brought to Aiden's mind. I shouldn't have done that, but I really don't know what to do. I wish there's a course for understanding and knowing the right approach for suicidal people. I might look like I got it all under control, but I don't. I'm just buying some time so I could hand over Aiden to someone who's more appropriate and reliable in handling situations like this.

When I reached Aiden, I saw him sitting with his head pinned down to his knees. He's crying. We're at the dead-end of an alley and he's sitting next to a dumpster. I took a step back to where he won't see me, but can still hear his weeping. I sat there and waited for him, giving him time to be alone—which is technically not, but at least, he thinks he is. All I heard from him was sobbing, kicking off things, punching the dumpster, and sometimes hitting himself, but I just let him do all those things. Let him cry it all. Maybe he suppressed all these emotions for a long time and exploded tonight, thanks to my idiocy.

"How long have you been there?" My eyes were closed when a voice suddenly echoed in the place. I stood up faster than the speed of lightning with my eyes now wide open. I didn’t realize minutes had passed by.

"Not long." I answered nervously. I can now clearly see him with the moonlight. He's totally messed up. His eyes were swollen, messy hair, dirty clothes, and raging aura. "I'm just glad I found you." I said looking away, trying to avoid his gaze.

 "Me too." He plainly said, which shocked me. When I was about to look at him again for what he said, it's too late for me to avoid a flying fist.

"f**k!"

"Aww!"

Different uttered words, but same timing. I fell to the ground as soon as his fist touched my face—God, it numbed my jaw—while he was holding his fist and complaing about how painful that was for him. Really, Aiden?

I stood up and tried to stand still. "Okay, first, that was your first time? Damn you hit well." I said in awe. "Second, I sure deserve that." Still trying not to tumble down to the ground. I shook my head and touched the end of my lip where it stings. There was a bit of blood. I looked at his hand. His one-of-a-hell blow caused him cuts on his knuckles. "Third, you can just cut off your hand if you're really planning on destroying it instead of ruining it little by little." I said pointing out to his wounded hands.

"You know I can punch you again." He threatened. I raised my hands in surrender. I sat down and leaned on the wall. He did the same, but far away across me.

"I really don't know what to do with you. I'm sorry. The only way to save your life is to call your family—which I thought was right for you." I started talking. He just looked at me still with fire in his eyes. I continued. "They are still at the diner, I think. They didn't see us. I texted them when we were at the hospital, but didn't tell them who I am. I just invited them for a dinner to talk about their son. Don't worry, I didn't tell them you were trying to kill yourself. I won't take that away from you. I was in doubt if they're going to come, but they did. Because it's you. It's their son." He's now looking at the moon. "I get it, Aiden, your relationship with your parents is not good. I have no idea what problems you guys have, but you have to talk to them. Settle the problem, instead of, you know, ending your life. They may be abusive parents, but—" He interrupted this time.

"What are you blabbing?" He said with furrowed eyebrows. "Who told you that?" I shrugged as an answer.

"I just thought you guys are not in a good state. You're running away from them."

"They are not the problem. I am. They are too perfect to have a son like me. They're all better off without me."

"Is that what you guys think? That leaving is the answer and we're better off without you?" He looked at me for a moment then stared at the moon again. "Let me tell you the reality: you die, they mourn. You find peace or whatever there is after death, but here, they will face and live with the fact and pain of you being gone. They get to live every day with questions: what did I do wrong? Is it me? Is it my fault? Am I not enough to keep him alive? Your father, mother, and sister, they will miss you so bad. Your mother will come to your room every night feeling your clothes and pretending she's hugging you. Every damn night. Your sister, reminiscing through your photographs, blaming herself because she thought she was never a good sister. Checking your room every morning in hopes he will see you there one day, but she won't, ever. And your father starts drowning himself with sadness. Your death will tear them to pieces. You will just pass on the pain far more than you could ever comprehend. And then—" I was interfered by a slipper that flew into my face. It was him. I frowned.

"Your story sucks and it’s too dramatic." Aiden said as his tears continued to flow. I chuckled. I stood up and walked towards him. I offered my hand after that.

"Fancy a long, night ride? Just so you could shake off all the things that happened today." I asked him. He refused and threw my hand away. Again, I deserve that.

"What makes you think I would give it another shot this time? Your lies and betrayals." He stood up and was about to leave me when I grabbed his arm. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and handed it over to him.

"Trust me, I know now what to do and what not to." I guaranteed him. He raised an eyebrow, took my phone, and put it into his pocket.

"So, we skipping tomorrow's class Mr. I-know-now-what-to-do-and-what-not-to?"

"Well, if that would not hurt your I-am-a-future-summa-c*m-laude ego, then yes." I answered. He lightly punched me in the stomach.

We started walking on our way to my car. We took a different way, just in case his parents are still at the diner. When we reached the parking lot, his parents' car was no longer there. I was relieved, Aiden was not. I think he knows how much he makes his parents worried about him. Why can't he just go home and talk about whatever's going on? He's already inside the car when I remembered we haven't had our dinner yet. As I was planning to go inside the dinner, Aiden quickly got out of the car and called my name.

"Where are you going?" He asked suspiciously. I just made a face because of his trust issues.

"We haven't had our dinner yet. I'll just buy some. I'm really starving. You stay in the car, I got it." I said and didn't wait for his reply. I ordered the same food we ordered earlier except milkshakes. They took them again 15 minutes to cook it all. I spent that 15 minutes checking the car and looking at the queuing orders. When my orders finally came, I took a quick bite of the fries and walked towards the car. I was about to tell Aiden that dinner's ready, but he's already sleeping. I chuckled. Crying really makes people sleep. I got in the car and put the food in the back seat. I looked at Aiden, who's silently sleeping—which we don't want to disturb—and put on his seat belt. I started the engine.

Two hours had passed and we're still on the road. Aiden's still sleeping. I took a pit stop at a gasoline station and refueled. There I saw a novelty shop near us, but about to be closed. I went there immediately. It is named Rainbow's Store. I smiled a little. For a simple store, I think its name is a bit cheesy. Anyway, I bought us bags of chips, drinks, blankets, sheets, and pillows. As I was putting these things in my cart, two shirts caught my attention, so I also added them. Just in case we need spare clothes. I headed my way back to the car as soon as I was done with the little shopping. I put them all at the back of the pick-up.

"Holy God!" I hit the door of the car the moment I stepped into it. He's awake and enjoying his burger, which I bet is not hot anymore.

"Does my face scare you that much?" He asked. I just laughed. "Apologies. I ate your food" He said still munching.

"No worries, I ate mine. That's all yours." I answered, then started the engine. He continued eating.

"How long have I been sleeping? Where are we going? What are those things at the back?" He asked one after another.

"Woah. Easy, man." I said, looking back and forth to him and on the road. "You slept for 2 hours at least. We're going to my favorite place. You'll love it. We're a couple cities away from your home, don't worry, you're safe with me."

"Safe my ass." He mumbled. I can't believe the attitude. "Don't you have friends?" He asked again. I took a glance of him. What’s with the sudden impolite manner?

"Depends."

"Depends—WHAT?"

"I have seasonal friends, summer friends, classroom friends, casual friends, and oh! Internet friends."

"You're a loner."

"Excuse me?"

"Admit it. You're a loner. I see you all the time during weekends. You don't go out. I don't see friends coming in and out of your house. You barely see the sun."

"Okay, that's ironic. You see me all weekends, but I'm inside our house? How's that possible? Unless you have binoculars and peeping—"

"Stop feeding your perverted mind."

"I go outside—"

"Yeah, to water plants."

We hit a stop light, so I paused for a moment and let pedestrians cross.

"I am never going to have this conversation with you anymore." I mumbled while tapping my index finger on the steering wheel.

"Because I'm right." He whispered then whistled. I instantly gave him my glaring eyes. "Oh, no. Who said that?" He acted like it wasn't him. I narrowed my eyes.

"Stop it." I mouthed.

"Or what? You're going to tell your summer friends? Internet friends?" He kept pissing me off.

I was about to take this conversation to a much higher level of intensity and annoyance when a loud and long car horn took us both by surprise. The car took the other lane and honked at me again. I checked the stop light and it says Green.

"Sorry!" I apologized waving at him. "That's on you." looking back at Aiden, then I started driving again.

"Oh, come on, you made a friend! A road friend." He insisted on annoying me.

"Oh, really? Look at yourself. Do you have friends either? Where are they now? Obviously not here! So, neither of us has friends here, because if you have, they should be here with you. They should be helping you with whatever problems you are dealing with right now! Got 'ya!" I said without thinking and stopping. He was silent all of a sudden, so I looked at him for a moment. His eyes are now fixed outside. Okay, was that over the line again? I was just messing with him like he was to me.

"I'm sorry. I was just kidding. I offended you so much." He apologized while still looking outside. Oh, right. Now, I'm the bad guy.

He remained silent for another minute, and then another, and then another after that another. After a long 15-minute awkward silence in the car, we finally arrived.

"We're here!" I announced after I shut off the engine. Aiden got out of the car before I could even see him. I followed him.

"It might not be as beautiful as your version back in your city, but at least, it's safer." I said referring to the fence in front of us. "That's your city." Pointing to the left side of the view. It was clear with distant lights—looks like a peaceful community. "And there's mine." Pointing to the right side where there are tons of lights and buildings. Unlike theirs, mine's crowded, busy, and kind of chaotic.

"Why did you bring me here?" He asked looking at me. I turned to the view.

"That view you see right now, that's just two cities. That's just a factor of a bigger picture. That there's a wide world out there waiting for you to be discovered." I answered and looked up at the sky. He did the same.

"Wow." He uttered while looking at the sky filled with stars.

"You might want to lay down while enjoying the view. That'll hurt your neck. Come." I gestured him towards the car. I took the things I bought a while ago and handed it all over to him. His face was asking. I turned down the tailgate and started setting up the bed. I was able to finish setting up all alone because this guy right here was so occupied of the view. I giggled. "Glad you like the place." I sat on the truck bed and he did the same too.

"I only have 3 worlds in my entire life: school, house, and church," He began telling his story. I gave him a soda in can and one of the chips. "So, these," gesturing around. "It's all new. I may be a 21-year old, about to be awarded with the greatest honor kind of guy, but the reality, I'm tired of that. You know, living a life far from what I really want. The facade, pretensions, and masks. It's all consuming and exhausting." He stopped all of a sudden. "Anyway, thanks for bringing me here." Changing the topic and patting my shoulder.

"You know what, you're right. I'm a loner." I started with a new conversation. He put down his soda, removed his shoes, and sat at the center of the truck bed. He tapped the space beside him, telling me to sit on, so I did. I sat opposite to him with our feet laid down. We're now facing each other. He signaled me to continue speaking. "I shut the world when my mom died five years ago. I chose to be alone, in everything. That's why I have classifications, classes of friends." He's just silently listening. "I'm sorry about what I said about your friends. I've gone overboard." I added and he just nodded.

"Actually, someone really wanted to be your friend. Five years ago, a kid moved to a small, friendly neighborhood—let's name him Kid A. He's got a cute neighbor, Kid B. Kid B wanted him in his circle, so he went to their house and asked him if he wants to be his friend. But, Kid A refused, he said he doesn't want any friend. Kid B had his first rejection at an early age, poor boy. He has gone home and tried to live with that horrendous experience for the last 5 years. The end." He shared a little story.

"Wait, don't tell me—"

"Yes, it's you. Obviously." He said, and my eyes almost fell off my face.

"I remembered!" I said in awe. "Well, to clear our grudges here, in my defense, the day I moved—well, practically I didn't move at all, but okay, let's just put it that way," He rolled his eyes. "That was just a week since my mom left us. Cut me some slack, I was 16 and moody and teenager—"

"And rude." He added. I laughed. Okay, added.

"I mean, that kid was lonely. He just lost his mother, you have to forgive him." I persuaded him.

"Okay, apology accepted." He nodded and we cheered to our drinks.

"Wait, you said wanted, so you don't want to be friends with me now? Was that because of what happened?" I asked seeking for enlightenment. He put down his drinks and chips.

"Yes, wanted, because you're my friend now. Do you really think I would come all the way here with a stranger? You really have a lot to learn about socializing." He answered and gone back to eating again.

"Oh, really. That's nice. I thought making friends in my age would be so hard, well, this one's fine and—" I said nodding, then he suddenly cut me off.

"Hey, rich guy, we're just friends. We're not best friends, you've got a long way to run before you pass that."

"Okay, okay." I said, raising my hands. "So, what now, dear friend?" I started pissing him off again.

He made this scrunchy face while his eyes were twitching, "Eww." He complained.

"Okay, now, kidding aside, why are you doing this again? Why are you keeping me sane and alive? No offense meant, you could've just left me there on the mountain and go on with your life. Why? What's with the help?" He asked. I took a moment to think about it. When I found the words I am looking for, I deeply sigh.

"Maybe I saw my 16-year old self in you? When the world started going against you and there's nothing to hold on—and worse, no one. I felt that and saw it in your eyes again. It was like a déjà vu, but in a different body." I answered. In my disappointment, he just made this horse-like sound after I said that. He’s really something.

"For a guy, you really are a dramatic one. Certainly."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You asked me."

"Yeah, right. Well, thanks. This wasn't a bad night after all. To friendship!" He offered a toast.

"Talking about dramatic?" Referring to his toast. I smiled and nodded. "To friendship!" Then we clacked our cans.