Love Beyond Chaos

Chapter 6

"I do realize that." He replied in the hottest voice I've ever heard, hands tugged in his pockets.

"Go and take a seat and make sure this doesn't repeat itself." Mr. Dennis added and continued his closing remarks.

He made his way inside and I realized the way he moved with effortless grace and girls were gushing over him. He didn't seem to care though; he walked straight ahead and didn't take a glance at them.

He was looking for a seat and our eyes locked. I immediately looked away, trying to control the blush creeping on my face. From the corner of my eye, I noticed he walked towards me and sat down beside me.

I quickly grabbed a textbook and pretended to be reading it. He suddenly came closer to me and looked at the book I was reading. I kept a straight face and continued looking at the textbook even though I wasn't focused and my heart was beating fast.

He started chuckling and the sound of his voice was just heavenly.

"How can you read a textbook upside-down?" he asked and I looked at him to see him smirking at me. I looked at the textbook in my hands and noticed they were upside-down. I mentally face palmed myself for showing my stupidity.

I quickly covered my face with the textbook in humiliation. He smiled and shoved his hands inside his pockets.

"I'm Blake by the way."

I looked at him, my face still hidden in the textbook, only my eyes were visible.

"My name's Lexi." I replied shyly.

He wanted to say another word but the bell rang and all the students trooped out of the class, heading to the cafeteria. I stood up too ready to leave when his voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Lexi..."

I turned around quickly; I thought I was going to have a whip flash.

He came towards me and smiled.

"Do you mind if I sit with you during lunch?" he asked, rubbing his neck.

I looked at Laurey and Dylan and they were giving me thumbs up and nodding their heads.

"Mhmm... okay." I replied with a smile.

He smiled and we all started heading to the cafeteria. He was talking to Dylan while I was talking with Laurey.

"So... what's with you and Blake?"

"Nothing." I replied with a straight face, but the tint of blush on my cheeks gave me away.

"Oooooh! I saw that blush. C'mon, Lexi... he asked to sit with you during lunch. He has never done that to any girl before. I feel a chemistry building up." she replied wiggling her eyebrows.

"There's nothing going on. He just wanted to sit down with me, that's all." I replied with a shrug, even though I knew deep down I wanted it to be more.

Wait... What did you just say Lexi?

"Hmmm... if you say so." She let it go even though she wasn't convinced.

We entered the cafeteria hall and it was packed with students, eating, gossiping and laughing. Immediately we entered a girl with brunette hair approached me with a smile.

"Oh my gosh! You're Lexi right? You were so cool the way you confronted Mrs. Cathy today. And I really love your hair." She gushed and quickly ran away.

I looked confused and bewildered. What was that about? I looked at Laurey and Dylan and they had the same expressions on their faces. I shrugged it off and went to collect our food.

Dylan found a chair at a corner and we sat down chatting and laughing.

"So, Lexi... tell us about yourself." Dylan asked, looking at me.

"Yeah... we don't know anything about you yet." Laurey added with a smile.

I felt uncomfortable because I didn't know if I could trust them with my secrets or pasts.

"Is it really necessary?" I asked with a pout.

"Of course... how do you want us to be friends if we don't know anything about you?" Laurey asked with a frown.

"We're not asking for your deepest darkest secrets." Blake added with a chuckle.

My smile faltered.

My fingers tightened around my fork.

The laughter around the cafeteria suddenly sounded distant.

I swallowed hard.

Then the memories started flooding in.

The pain I had to go through because I trusted too easily.

"Oh my gosh! Lexi, why are you crying?" she quickly scooted over to me and wiped my tears.

"Lexi, are you okay?" Dylan asked, looking at me.

I looked over at Blake, he was just silent but you could see the worry and concern etched in his deep brown eyes.

"I-I'm fine. Something just entered my eye." I quickly stood up. "I need to use the restroom." I shot them a fake, weak smile before walking to the restroom.

Once I reached the restroom, I locked the door and slid down and sat on the floor. I hugged my legs to myself and buried my face in between my knees.

Once I was sure I was alone, I let all my feelings out. I cried out all the pain and suffering I've buried deep in my heart for so long. The trauma, the pain, the aftermath of the event; all the things I have passed through and hidden with a fake smile.

I cried because my first real attempt of making friends and making a fresh start has gone down the drain.

I cried because I haven't gotten over my trauma, even though it has been two years.

I cried because I always have a way of ruining opportunities to make friends and leave the past behind.

I cried because now, Dylan, Laurey and Blake wouldn't want to be friends with me again.

I cried because my first crush won't find me attractive because I'm a broken girl with a broken heart and broken life.