Her Humanity

Sympathy

Crocodile tears and Puppy eyes,

Those I can't determine from lies.

Walls that are as weak as sand,

My repeated fall to sympathy still stand.

: A short poem created while having afternoon coffee in my small silent room. Riddling on and on about plans for the nearing future only to recall one's kryptonite and laugh at the realization. Calling my own name only for criticism to come after. Mumbles and whimpers filled the room for a moment, whilst it felt like an eternity to me. A choir of cries of regret and pain, followed by laughter of embarrassment, then after came a pause to catch my breath, only to start tearing up again. And the cycle continues as I walk back and forth across the room until I weep myself to sleep.

Most of the time, I would only sit in one corner of my bed then weep myself to sleep. But there are some times when I just stare at my plain white wall, listening to the sound of melodies with a mix of motivation and depression. All I can think during these moments is that I am now who I questioned when I was young and bold; when I was still too young to know how stained I would be for digging too deep downwards and not upwards.