Our Stupid Feelings

arranged marriage
realistic earth

“I haven’t had s*x in over six months, assh*le. All because you! So, yes, I am slightly pissed.”

I didn’t really plan to admit this. I mean, I had no plans of marrying Jax, but my words could easily be interpreted in ways that they shouldn’t be, and I could see they surprised him.

“Thought you had switched me out for someone else,” he said, as he started to smile that evil smile again.

I was so angry right now. He was purposely pushing me, and he knew what it was doing to me. Like him, I didn’t like to be cornered. I didn’t like that someone was forcing me to admit some things I wasn’t ready to really talk about. I was a private person. He was too. Maybe why we worked so well together, sadly, it also made it impossible for us to really let the other in. We didn’t like it when things came too close, but Jax had clearly spent those six months working on that, because now he seemed all in.

“I haven’t seen Luke since I went out with Megan, shortly after she came back to Chicago,” I told him.

He seemed even more surprised.

“And I haven’t slept with anyone else. So, I am not going to apologize if I feel slightly hurt that you are now rejecting me, when it is clear that you did this to me! You f*cked with my head!”

“What happened?” he just asked.


“That night? Why did that night change anything for you?” he asked me, making me swallow hard.

I didn’t remember that much about that night, but I did remember what I confessed to Megan. There was no way I was telling him, though. He was playing with me, and I didn’t like that, so there was no way I was giving him anything.

“That doesn’t matter,” I said. “You are the one being a jerk tonight.”

“For taking you out?”

“You know what you are doing!”

“Oh?” he just asked.

I wanted to pull my hair because he was pushing me a lot tonight. Normally, he wouldn’t go so hard on me. I loved our banter. I loved our teasing and challenging the other, but things were different tonight. He was purposely trying to push me to my limits, and I didn’t like it.


Kat is a firm believer in the solo life, convinced that relationships only complicate matters. She's content with her independence and sees no reason to change, until Jax makes her a promise that challenges everything she thought she knew. Despite her best efforts to keep her guard up, Jax's mere presence quickens her heartbeat, leaving her questioning her resolve.

Meanwhile, Jax is certain that Kat is the one for him. He's determined to make her his wife, but he knows it won't be easy. With Kat's tendency to run, he's prepared to work hard to win her over and seal the deal with a ring. As their romantic game unfolds, can they navigate the complexities of marriage? Will Kat give in to Jax's advances and accept his proposal, or will her fear of commitment drive her to flee once again?

*Book Three*

Recommended to first read: Our Loveless Marriage and Our Pointless Fights

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Chapter 1: A Surprise Visit
-Kat- “Well, did you take a test?” I asked, as I walked into my apartment, pressing my phone to my ear, as I slowly got rid of all the warm clothes, I had to wrap myself in, in order not to freeze. I always hated the winter. I could never stop freezing. It was just really the worst time of the year, and I couldn’t wait for spring to come back. “Okay, then take a test,” I told Megan. She kept going on and on about how she was scared she might be pregnant, because she was late, and she was definitely panicking. “Well, maybe if you didn’t want a child yet, then perhaps you should have gone on the pill like me,” I just chuckled, as I walked further into my apartment, listening to her rambling on, and I just let her get it out of her system. I knew when she was finally done panicking, she would go buy that test and see if she was pregnant. I knew Nathan and she were planning on having a family, but Megan was still working on her dreams, and a baby was not really what she wanted yet. She was only twenty-three, after all. I got it if it was too early. I wasn’t even sure I wanted a child ever. I was just leaving it up to fate. If I one day decided I wanted one, I would get one. If not, then it was not a huge loss to me. Though, when I imagined who the father would be, only one face came into mind, and I knew I had to push that idea away. Jax had not made any sorts of moves since he promised he was going to marry me at Megan’s gallery months ago. I hadn’t heard a word from him actually, and since then I had gone into a dry spell… actually, it had been quite a while. Ever since I went out with Megan actually, and got horribly drunk and started missing Jax like crazy, I had not slept with anyone. It was so unlike me. I did not get hung up on some guy, but I couldn’t get Jax out of my mind, nor his promise. I sighed as I walked into the kitchen to get something to drink. I hadn’t bothered really turning on any lights, except the one in the kitchen. I drank the glass of water, before putting it down on the counter, as I continued to listen to Megan coming up with all the reasons why she couldn’t have a child right now, and then I listened to her constantly going back and forth about whether or not she was certain that she was pregnant. She was only five days late, nothing to be concerned about. Her period had never been like clockwork, but there was no doubt that she and Nathan were not being overly careful, and they were also humping like bunnies. Would it be so weird if she had gotten pregnant? No, not really. I smiled a little as I walked into my bedroom, turning on the light, only to notice something on my bed. Was that a dress? “Put it on,” I heard a dark voice say. I screamed and almost jumped into the doorframe, as I noticed someone sitting in the corner of my bedroom. “Eh, Megan, I have to go,” I told her. She complained, telling me not to leave her. Megan had clearly not even noticed I had screamed. She was too occupied by her own panic, but I really couldn’t talk right now. “Yeah, eh, take the damn test, and let’s talk later,” I told her before hanging up, then I walked further into my bedroom, looking at the dress shortly, before turning my eyes back to the man in front of me. “Jax?” “Missed me, kitten?” “I told you not to ever call me that,” I said, and crossed my arms. He thought it was funny, because my name was Kat … Kitten … Kat, hilarious. I just rolled my eyes as I heard him chuckle. He slowly stood up, and that was when I saw he was dressed to impress. Sh*t, he looked good. White shirt, black pants, a flashy watch on his wrist and that st*pid grin that somehow made me melt. “Wait. How did you get in here?” I asked, confused. He just shrugged. “You broke into my apartment?!” “Define broke in,” he said. “Came uninvited!” I got out between gritted teeth. “Then, yes,” he said, but did not look guilty at all. “God dammit, Jax, what the hell?!” I asked, throwing my arms out to the side. I wanted to be really angry. I mean, who the hell does something like this? But the sight of him actually made me happy. I had missed him. No matter how little I wanted to admit it, the truth was I had missed him, and that little voice in the back of my head, that had told me he had forgotten me, finally turned quiet, as he stood there in my bedroom. “The dress,” he said, and looked towards the dress. I turned my head around, looking at it as well, before looking at Jax again. “What is this?” I asked. “We are going out for dinner.” “And is that some kind of code?” I asked. He looked a bit confused, narrowing his eyes slightly, and then said, “No.” “Really?” I asked and crossed my arms. “Do you want it to mean something else?” he asked and smiled at me, so I could see a little of his white teeth. That st*pid smirk … I couldn’t think straight when he was looking at me like that. “No!” I said. “Then it means dinner.” “As in …” I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t believe it just meant dinner. Oh, yes, maybe because he had declared he was going to marry me! How on earth could I just believe dinner meant dinner, and it wasn’t a secret code word for going to a chapel and then taking me away? I mean, Jax was the type who always had some sort of trick up his sleeve. “As in dinner,” he said. “Will a ring magically appear at this dinner?” I asked, just to be sure. “Do you want a ring to appear?” Oh God, he was playing with me! Dammit, him. “No!” “Then a ring won’t appear,” he said, as if there would be no problem finding a ring if I asked for one. Did he already have one prepared? I mean, it had almost been six months since we last saw each other. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had gone out to shop for some jewelry. “Really Jax. Why are you here?” I asked, lowering my arms. “To take you out for dinner. Am I not speaking English here?” he asked, getting tired of repeating himself. “Oh, I don’t know. You are the one saying you were going to marry me, then you disappeared for six months. And now you have come back to take me out for “dinner”, and something tells me it isn’t just dinner,” I said. He smiled, chuckling a little and shaking his head. He took two steps forward, not that it brought him that close to me. My guess was he was advancing slowly. I did not like being cornered, so he took it step by step. Very smart, but I saw right through him and narrowed my eyes. “It’s just dinner, kitten,” he promised me. “I don’t believe you,” I told him. “I mean, I guess I could have dinner brought to us, but then that would surely be a waste of a magnificent dress,” he said, glancing at the dress again. I glanced back at it. It did look quite nice. A short silver-golden dress. Depending on the light, it would shine in different colors and silver shoes to match, but I just felt like all of this had a double meaning. I mean, no guy would say they were going to marry you and then just take you out for dinner saying it was all a joke. It would be a very long and weird joke, if that was his plan, or was he paying me back? I mean, did he … I don’t know, want revenge? No, Jax was not the revenge type, was he? God, he was doing this to me. He was making my head come up with all sorts of explanations for his sudden appearance, and he knew it! He knew what he was doing. It was not fair. “Just tell me why you are here.” “I am going to say the same thing,” he sighed. “Taking you out for dinner, or are you not hungry?” I was hungry. I had planned to shower quickly and then get something to eat. “I am,” I said. He smiled, pleased. “Then change. Meet me in the living room in about ten minutes and let’s go.” “Ten?!” “Better hurry, kitten,” he told me, as he walked past me, smiling so f*cking smugly. I turned to the dress as he left the room. I was not sure if this was a good idea, but I had to say I was interested in knowing where this was going. Were we getting married tonight? And if yes, did I want to?

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