Our Stupid Feelings

Chapter 3: Frustrated

-Kat-

I couldn't grasp it. What was his game plan? I just couldn't wrap my head around it. He talked about marriage, but left out crucial details, and I detested riddles. I wanted clarity, straightforwardness, but here was Jax, frustrating me to no end with his vague responses.

"Like what you see, kitten?" he quipped, lifting his gaze from his plate, evidently aware of my scrutiny.

"Don't call me that!" I snapped.

He merely chuckled. "But I like it," he teased, his smirk sending shivers down my spine.

His smirk always spelled trouble, even when unprovoked. It made me squirm uncomfortably as he observed me intently. He leisurely reached for his drink, savoring every movement, then ran his tongue along his bottom lip—a sight that monopolized my attention. Okay, it had been too long since I last had s*x. That was the issue, right? That explained why Jax looked more enticing tonight than ever before, why the idea of dragging him to the bathroom tempted me.

Perhaps that was precisely what we needed—to rid ourselves of this tension physically. I sensed he noticed the shift in my demeanor, the way my body warmed at the thought of having him all to myself, naked and at my mercy. Goodness, I wanted it.

"Aren't you hungry, kitten?" he prodded.

I swallowed hard, my throat parched. Reaching for the water in front of me, I took a sip before shaking my head faintly.

"I'm not really hungry for food," I confessed. Perhaps I was making a mistake. Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to this, but I found myself clenching my thighs together tightly, hoping to alleviate some of the throbbing sensation between my legs. It bordered on painful, how desperately I craved him in this moment.

I was terrible at abstinence. I yearned for s*x, and I yearned for it desperately. It was all because of Jax. He had messed with my mind. I hadn't been able to be with anyone else, but now he was here. Now, he could satisfy that need, and the way his green eyes darkened with lustful intent told me he wanted it too.

While I had experienced satisfying s*x with others, nothing compared to being with Jax. I couldn't explain what he did to me, and I couldn't claim it was healthy, but I was utterly addicted.

"What are you hungry for then, kitten?" he inquired, his voice low and husky as he leaned in closer, resting an arm on the table.

I couldn't resist leaning closer too. Our eyes locked, and as I shifted forward, my legs squeezed together tightly. The edge of the chair pressed against just the right spot, and I knew he noticed the subtle movement of my body as I sought more.

"Are you teasing that needy p*ssy against the chair, kitten?" he murmured, lowering his voice to ensure no one else would hear.

I nodded, biting my lip in response.

"I told you I wasn't hungry for food," I reiterated.

I had been starving before we arrived, but he was messing too much with my body and mind. I couldn't focus on anything else but him.

"And I will ask again, then what are you hungry for?" he persisted.

As if he didn't already know, but he wanted to hear me say it. He always loved making me admit that I wanted him. There was something about it that seemed to ignite a fire within him, and he became even more passionate when I begged him to f*ck me. He especially lost control when I spoke in a voice that conveyed my desperation, as if I couldn't bear another moment without him inside me.

"You," I panted.

We were so close to each other now, our faces mere inches apart. Why didn't he just kiss me already? Instead, he reached out, his hand caressing the side of my cheek. I welcomed the touch. It felt so good, especially in my heightened state of arousal. I wasn't moving enough to actually org*sm, and I had no intention of doing so in this restaurant, but I cherished his touch nonetheless. However, he surprised me by suddenly withdrawing.

"Stop moving," he ordered, in a tone I had never heard from him before.

I couldn't even think to disobey. My body ceased its movements on its own, and I stared at him in shock as he leaned back in his seat, a smile playing on his lips. Why did he want me to stop? He must have noticed my confusion. Normally, all it took was a lustful glance from me, and he would be all over me, but now he just sat there, smiling.

"Why are we here?" I asked, growing annoyed and increasingly frustrated that he wasn't showing interest in me.

I also felt a pang of rejection. It was evident he had no intention of whisking me away to the nearest bathroom for some relief.

"I already informed you," he stated firmly. "We are here to eat dinner."

"F*ck your dinner," I retorted, not harshly, but certainly with an edge.

"Now, that wasn't very nice, kitten," he remarked, his smile taking on a darker tone.

I sank back into my chair, arms crossed and eyes narrowed, engaging in a silent battle of wills. He seemed unfazed by my petulant behavior, but I couldn't help it. He was driving me crazy, provoking reactions from me that I wouldn't usually exhibit.

"You're the one not being very nice!" I exclaimed.

"Because I won't make you come right here in the restaurant?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I narrowed my eyes even further.

"Or because I won't succumb to your temptation?" he added.

I leaned in closer, both hands firmly planted on the table, and lowered my voice intentionally, "I haven't had s*x in over six months, asshole. All because of you! So, yes, I am slightly pissed."

Admitting this wasn't part of my plan. I had no intention of marrying Jax, but my words could easily be misconstrued, and I could see they caught him off guard.

"I thought you'd replaced me with someone else," he quipped, his signature smirk creeping back.

My anger surged. He was deliberately pushing my buttons, fully aware of the effect it had on me.

"I haven't seen Luke since that night I went out with Megan, shortly after she returned to Chicago," I revealed, noting his heightened surprise. "And I haven't been with anyone else. So, forgive me if I feel a bit hurt now that you're rejecting me when it's clear you're the one who messed with my head!"

"What happened?" he prodded.

"What?" I inquired.

"That night? Why did that night change anything for you?" he pressed, causing me to swallow hard.

I didn’t recall much about that particular evening, but I vividly remembered what I disclosed to Megan. However, there was no way I was sharing those details with him. He was toying with me, and I wasn't about to give him any leverage.

"That's irrelevant," I deflected. "You're the one acting like a jerk tonight."

"For taking you out?" he countered.

"You know exactly what you're doing!"

"Do I?" he teased.

I wanted to tear my hair out. He was pushing me harder than usual tonight. Normally, we engaged in playful banter and teasing, but tonight felt different. He was deliberately testing my limits, and I didn't appreciate it.

"Listen," he interrupted, his smirk fading. "Let's enjoy this dinner, okay? Then we'll take a short walk, where you can fill me in on the last six months, and then we'll head back to your place."

"We will?" I asked, feeling a glimmer of relief at his promise.

He nodded reassuringly.

"What do you say to that plan?" he asked.

I deliberated for a moment before nodding in agreement. "Okay."