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Our Stupid Feelings

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arranged marriage
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Blurb

“I haven’t had s*x in over six months, assh*le. All because you! So, yes, I am slightly pissed.”

I didn’t really plan to admit this. I mean, I had no plans of marrying Jax, but my words could easily be interpreted in ways that they shouldn’t be, and I could see they surprised him.

“Thought you had switched me out for someone else,” he said, as he started to smile that evil smile again.

I was so angry right now. He was purposely pushing me, and he knew what it was doing to me. Like him, I didn’t like to be cornered. I didn’t like that someone was forcing me to admit some things I wasn’t ready to really talk about. I was a private person. He was too. Maybe why we worked so well together, sadly, it also made it impossible for us to really let the other in. We didn’t like it when things came too close, but Jax had clearly spent those six months working on that, because now he seemed all in.

“I haven’t seen Luke since I went out with Megan, shortly after she came back to Chicago,” I told him.

He seemed even more surprised.

“And I haven’t slept with anyone else. So, I am not going to apologize if I feel slightly hurt that you are now rejecting me, when it is clear that you did this to me! You f*cked with my head!”

“What happened?” he just asked.

“What?”

“That night? Why did that night change anything for you?” he asked me, making me swallow hard.

I didn’t remember that much about that night, but I did remember what I confessed to Megan. There was no way I was telling him, though. He was playing with me, and I didn’t like that, so there was no way I was giving him anything.

“That doesn’t matter,” I said. “You are the one being a jerk tonight.”

“For taking you out?”

“You know what you are doing!”

“Oh?” he just asked.

I wanted to pull my hair because he was pushing me a lot tonight. Normally, he wouldn’t go so hard on me. I loved our banter. I loved our teasing and challenging the other, but things were different tonight. He was purposely trying to push me to my limits, and I didn’t like it.

***

Kat is a firm believer in the solo life, convinced that relationships only complicate matters. She's content with her independence and sees no reason to change, until Jax makes her a promise that challenges everything she thought she knew. Despite her best efforts to keep her guard up, Jax's mere presence quickens her heartbeat, leaving her questioning her resolve.

Meanwhile, Jax is certain that Kat is the one for him. He's determined to make her his wife, but he knows it won't be easy. With Kat's tendency to run, he's prepared to work hard to win her over and seal the deal with a ring. As their romantic game unfolds, can they navigate the complexities of marriage? Will Kat give in to Jax's advances and accept his proposal, or will her fear of commitment drive her to flee once again?

This book can now be bought as paperback on Am@zon

*Book Three*

Recommended to first read: Our Loveless Marriage and Our Pointless Fights

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Chapter 1: A Surprise Visit
-Kat- “Well, did you take a test?” I asked as I walked into my apartment, pressing my phone to my ear while slowly shedding all the warm clothes I had bundled up in to ward off the cold. I always hated winter. I could never stop freezing. “Okay, then take a test,” I told Megan. She kept going on and on about how she was scared she might be pregnant because she was late. “Well, maybe if you didn’t want a child yet, then perhaps you should have gone on the pill like me,” I chuckled as I walked further into my apartment, listening to her ramble on, letting her get it out of her system. I knew when she was finally done panicking, she would go buy that test and see if she was pregnant. I knew Nathan and she were planning on having a family, but Megan was still working on her dreams, and a baby was not really what she wanted yet. I sighed as I walked into the kitchen to get something to drink. I hadn’t bothered to turn on any lights except the one here. I drank the glass of water before putting it down on the counter as I continued to listen to Megan coming up with all the reasons why she couldn’t have a child right now, and then I listened to her constantly going back and forth about whether she was certain that she was pregnant or not. She was only five days late, nothing to be concerned about. I smiled a little as I continued into my bedroom, turning on the light, only to notice something on my bed. Was that a dress? “Put it on,” I heard a dark voice say. I screamed and almost jumped into the doorframe as I noticed someone sitting in the corner of my bedroom. “Uh, Megan, I have to go,” I informed her. She complained, telling me not to leave her. She had clearly not even noticed I had screamed. “Yeah, uh, take the damn test, and let’s talk later,” I told her before hanging up. Then I walked further into my bedroom, looking at the dress shortly before turning my eyes back to the man in front of me. “Jax?” “Missed me, kitten?” “I told you not to ever call me that,” I snapped, crossing my arms. He thought it was funny because my name was Kat… Kitten… Kat, hilarious. I rolled my eyes as I heard him chuckle. He slowly stood up, and that was when I saw he was dressed to impress. Sh*t, he looked good—white shirt, black pants, a flashy watch on his wrist, and that stupid grin that somehow made me melt. “Wait. How did you get in here?” I asked, confused. He shrugged. “You broke into my apartment?” “Define broke in,” he teased. “Came uninvited!” I retorted. “Then, yes,” he admitted, without a hint of guilt. “Goddammit, Jax, what the hell?” I asked, throwing my arms out to the side. I wanted to be angry. I mean, who the hell does something like this? But the sight of him made me happy. I had missed him. “The dress,” he said, glancing toward it briefly. I turned my head around, looking at it as well, before focusing on Jax again. “What is this?” I questioned. “We are going out for dinner.” “And is that some kind of code?” I inquired. He looked a bit confused, narrowing his eyes slightly before responding. “No...” “Really?” I asked, crossing my arms. “Do you want it to mean something else?” he challenged, smiling at me, revealing a flash of his white teeth. That stupid smirk... I couldn’t think straight when he looked at me like that. “No!” I exclaimed. “Then it means dinner.” “As in…” I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t believe it just meant dinner. Oh, yes, maybe because he had declared he was going to marry me! “As in dinner,” he reiterated. “Will a ring magically appear at this dinner?” I asked, just to be sure. “Do you want a ring to appear?” Oh God, he was playing with me! Damn him. “No!” “Then a ring won’t appear,” he assured, as if there would be no problem finding a ring if I asked for one. Did he already have one prepared? I mean, it had almost been six months since we last saw each other. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had gone out to shop for some jewelry. “Really, Jax. Why are you here?” I questioned, lowering my arms. “To take you out for dinner. Am I not speaking English here?” he retorted, getting tired of repeating himself. “Oh, I don’t know. You are the one saying you were going to marry me, then disappear for six months, and now come back to take me out for ‘dinner’, and something tells me it isn’t just dinner,” I said. He smiled, chuckling a little and shaking his head. He took two steps forward, not that it brought him much closer. My guess was he was advancing slowly to gain power. “It’s just dinner, kitten,” he assured me. “I don’t believe you,” I countered. “I mean, I guess I could have dinner brought to us, but then that would surely be a waste of a good dress,” he remarked, glancing at the dress again. I glanced back at it. It did look quite nice. A short silver-golden dress, shimmering in varying hues, accompanied by matching silver shoes. However, I couldn't shake the suspicion that there was a deeper significance to it all. “Just tell me why you are here.” “I’m going to say the same thing,” he sighed. “Taking you out for dinner, or are you not hungry?” I was hungry. I had planned to shower quickly and then grab something to eat. “I am,” I said. He smiled, pleased. “Then change. Meet me in the living room in about 10 minutes, and let’s go.” “10?” “Better hurry, kitten,” he told me, as he walked past me, smiling so smugly. I turned to the dress as he left the room. I was not sure if this was a good idea, but I had to admit I was interested in knowing where this was going. Were we getting married tonight? And if yes, did I want to?

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