“Whenever I think of you, I just can't help but smile. Falling in love with you is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, and I've never been happier in my life. I know this feeling will last forever.”
Hey Addy, my princess:)
If you’re reading this then I might not be there with you right now, but I’m sure you would be having fun, having your hot chocolate daily, right?
Oh, I’m not mad, I’m happy to know that you are living your life but not like I wanted you to, there would be hundreds of problems roaming around you, and one thing I can guarantee, you might have cried all out already and slept out your tiredness.
That’s all good, now at least you would be able to understand what I’m going to tell you. So, pull your socks up, little lady!
So, before that, I wrote something for you just like you asked many times and I didn’t have time earlier, but here you go;
Long before you were born,
You owned a piece of my heart.
My fine precious granddaughter,
I love you from the start.
With eyes that sparkle very bright,
and your big glowing smile;
You always can make me laugh,
you help me make my life worthwhile.
I hope you know that I am here for you,
each and every day.
I stand with you to good and bad,
I will help in any way.
You give me great memories,
I cherish in my soul.
Precious time is spent with you,
They are worth more than gold.
I’m so very proud of you,
you shine just like the stars.
I will always love that baby girl, and the woman you are now!
Wooh! All done- that’s the letter you wanted for Christmas, right?
But, there is something I have been wanting to talk to you and I know this is a difficult conversation. And you know what- you are a very cunning girl, never asked a single thing about your parents.
But, that’s not it! This is my duty to tell you everything that happened and that will happen, but you have lived a very sophisticated life till now Addy, and I don’t know where to start.
Is my writing getting messy?
Oh, hell YES!
You know why because I’m scared.
I’m scared to even think about what will happen to you when I’m gone. How will you fight? But, you have got a brave heart just like your mother and a genius brain- just like your father. So, I know you will get through.
Jesus. The truth is, for so long I had forgotten what it was even about. I have been stuck in one place after Jack and Rose’s death. In a cave, you might say. A deep, dark cave.
And then you came into my life. For the first time in a long time, I started to feel things again. I started to feel happy. But lately, I guess I have been feeling distant from you. Like you are pulling away from me or something.
I miss reciting those stories to you every night, making Hot chocolate for you at night, watching westerns together before we doze off.
But I know you are getting older, growing, changing. I guess, if I’m being really honest, that’s what scares me. I don’t want things to change, so, I think maybe that’s why I came here back to London, to try and stop that change. To turn back the clock, to make things go back to how they were, but I know that’s naive. It’s just now how life works. It’s moving, always moving, whether you like it or not, and, yeah sometimes it’s painful, sometimes it’s sad and sometimes, it’s surprisingly happy.
So, you know what?
Keep on growing up kid. Don’t let me stop you. Make mistakes, learn from them. When life hurts you because it will remember the hurt. The hurt is good, it means you are out of that cave. But, please, if you don’t mind, for the sake of your poor old grandfather, give me a heads up whenever you date and bring a guy home, and don’t forget the rule of the door open three inches.
That’s where Adeline stopped reading his letter, it was painful. Painful for her to read the things which he wanted to say five years back, it was his last words to keep her grounded, to keep her connected to him while he was gone and save her from losing herself.
People could grow strong enough to whisper at the iron bars that hold them and see them bend out of their way, like the craziest magic. That's what love can do: fix souls, fix brains, cure us all. Adeline wished she could have mastered that way, but it's hard when you've been starving for so long. You could sit and call for help. You could act like there was no cage, wear a mask of coping and normality. You could rage against the bars. Yet what love makes simple, no other thing could solve. There was another escape route, yet it was one into another great pain. It was possible to be so emotionally starved that you slipped through the bars, no longer bound but with your soul crumbling. That was her way out.
What followed was endless emotional marathons on bleeding knees. She learned how to hide the pain, how to look normal. She understands why some go cold inside to escape the pain of isolation, why they let their empathy wither and die: numbness over feeling, mental anaesthesia. She refuses. The thing is, regardless of the pain, She believes that living with an incomplete soul is a form of death, and She would rather be a humane human in pain than a zombie needing to bite others to feed.
Closing her eyes, Adeline leaned back on the couch when she felt the gush of wind touching her cheek, but she did not open her eyes as the familiar scent entered the room and for some unknown reason she felt her nerves calming down as she asked:
“Why- why did you hide these?” Adeline questioned, pain was eminent in her voice.
“It wasn’t a good idea.” Answered a rough, similar, muffled voice.
What will happen next?
Will he tell her the reason, why he hid the documents for the last five years?
Will Adeline let Ace know about the documents?
Will she read the letters further?