It’s always been you

Chapter #5

Elias ate breakfast with me and we kept the conversation very light. We strayed away from anything negatively emotional, which I greatly appreciated.

Talking about my education and how I wanted to study business made me feel a lot more comfortable. Elias knew business, he was good at business and he ran his late fathers’ like an absolute pro. He had built it larger than ever and expanded it all around the globe.

I wasn’t exactly sure what it did because it was built to help military contractors and whatever else. I knew that Ennis had a big part in getting new contracts with his connections to the military, he was a prominent figure.

Elias was excited to learn about what I wanted to do with my future, he asked a lot of questions and I was happy to answer them. He wanted to help me with entrance exams and anything he possibly could.

If only my father was as excited for my future, but he never would be and I had accepted that a long time ago. Having Elias would be plenty enough for me now.

I had tried everything that Elias cooked for me and he was really happy about it. It all tasted amazing and I praised him for it, he gave me that beautiful grin of his and I could feel myself blush under his gaze.

I loved looking at him, being able to fully admire him in real life and not just in my dreams. I don’t exactly recall the age I was when I first started to dream of him, but dream him didn’t do the real him justice at all. I wanted his image burned into my memory for the rest of my life. For times when he wasn’t around for me to be able to look at… or if he found a woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and stopped visiting me again.

Yes, I know he said that he would never leave me again but it was still a possibility. Nothing in this life was ever guaranteed and people were always constantly changing.

Elias was a very consistent person though. He was the same man I knew five years ago. Kind, caring and considerate.

“What do you do on the weekends? Your parents didn’t really tell me anything other than you constantly study and read.”

My parents were right but then again they didn’t really know me because they never took the time to. “I like walking in the park and feeding the ducks… I like being outside as much as I can be. I like nature and the forest. I grow.. uhm, flowers…” I sounded so boring but not once did Elias stop grinning at me. He was intently listening, nodding his head.

“I love nature and the forest too. Did you know I have a cabin in Greenville, up in the mountains along the waterfront? I would love to take you up there. I was planning to go sometime soon but… how about today? You don’t have anything planned do you? We can stay until Sunday night. It’s gorgeous, you’ll love it there.”

I knew that area well. There was a mountain ski resort in the area that I had gone to with my parents many times when I was younger. I was pretty sure Elias and Ennis had come at least once.

“Yes! I mean.. y-yes please. I’d love to get out of this house. It sounds wonderful.”

“It’ll be perfect. We can do whatever you want once we get there. Pack some things, I’m going to go do the same. Meet me in the living room in thirty?”

I nodded enthusiastically. My stomach was full of nervous butterflies but this was going to be one of the best times of my life, I just knew it.

I wondered how many times Elias had stayed at his cabin in the past five years or if he did at all. If he did, he had been so close and I hadn’t even known it. If only… I would have driven there myself and begged him to let me stay with him.

It was time to stop dwelling on the past though. It wouldn’t do me any good and there was nothing I could do to change it. I needed to start living in the present, in this very moment, right now.

The drive would only take about two and a half hours and I needed to make sure that I was prepared with everything that I would need for the drive and for the rest of the weekend.

When I made it back up to my room I began to look through all of my drawers. Three pairs of jeans max, a good amount of shirts so I had choices. I mostly chose t-shirts because I wore a lot of flannels or my leather jacket. Some boots and converse… it was pretty chilly here in Maine. And then I remembered the resort and packed warmer things just in case as well. I’m not sure we would have the time to go but one could never be too prepared. As my mother used to continuously remind me.

I’m pretty sure one of the reasons I never really, fully got along with her was because I liked the more simpler things in life. She was a fashion addict and was always dressed up, face full of makeup. Don’t get me wrong I liked to look nice too but the effort just wasn’t worth it for me, I had more important things to do. Like making sure I was ready to get away from my parents…

When I finished packing and headed back downstairs I found Elias on the living room couch, next to his suitcase. He was wearing dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt. He looked so freaking good!

He looked good in everything. His muscles were really prominent under a regular t-shirt though and I couldn’t help but ogle him. In fact I’m pretty sure my mouth had fallen open and I only realized when he cleared his throat.

CRAP.

“You alright, Addie?” His tone was mischievous and when our eyes met again, I found amusement all over his face. My heart skipped hard and I nodded awkwardly.

“Y-yeah. I'm good, all ready.” I forced an awkward smile, again hoping that he would let this weirdness go. I was being so obvious.

“Cool. Let’s head to the garage. I have my jeep in there.” I nodded and followed him. And yeah, I had gotten a jeep because ever since I knew Elias, he had one. He had a lot of cars but it’s what he drove the most and it made me like them a lot.

I followed behind him and when we got to the car he put our suitcases into the trunk. The moment we were both in the car, garage opening, I felt my nerves bubble up again. The close proximity was intimidating. Being surrounded by his amazing smell, tantalizing.

I loved this man so freaking much. I craved to know more about him. There were so many things that I wanted to ask him but I just didn’t have the courage.

We were now on the way to his cabin and we would be in this car for two and a half hours. I was already quiet. He knew that I had been checking him out and he found it amusing. What would I do next to make a fool of myself?

Don’t think about him in the bathroom, don’t think about him in the bathroom! Don’t do it Adeline!

I did it again. My cheeks burned intensely and I turned my head to look out the door window, trying to hide the red shade of my skin.

“Addie?”

I didn’t look at him as I responded to him. “Yeah?”

He took a few seconds before he spoke again, which made me have a tiny freak out moment before I had to remind myself to breathe.

“How much of my conversation did you hear this morning?”

Wait, what was breathing again?

My ears did the ringing thing and when I didn’t answer he called my name again.

“W-what?” I had no choice but to look at him. I had spaced out. How did he know that I had heard him? He must have seen me… I really wasn’t good at being sneaky.

“Addie, it’s okay. Just breathe.” He continuously looked over at me as he drove. Back and forth from the road to me. The concerned expression was back on his face.

“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn't have…”

And then he gently placed his hand on my thigh and squeezed. “Just breathe, focus on breathing. I’m not mad at you, not whatsoever.”

I hated that he could read me so well but it was also a blessing because he knew how hard he could and couldn’t push. I was really hoping that I wouldn’t always overreact like this though, he just did things to me… things I couldn’t let him know about, that made it much harder.

“I’m good. I’m okay… a-and I didn’t hear much. I think…the end of the conversation. But I really didn’t hear much. Your voice was muffled in the kitchen. How did you know?”

His hand was still on my thigh and it was really hot. It felt like it was searing through my jeans and into my skin.

“I could see out of the corner of my eyes when you went to go down the stairs and then quickly moved backward. I notice things, I’m always watching my surroundings when I’m not looking directly at everything. Ennis has taught me a lot of what he knows and now it’s just become a habit… what made you not want to come down when you heard me?”

I took a moment, focusing my attention on how good his hand felt on me. His fingers squeezed tighter again and I almost whimpered.

“I… I don’t know… I didn’t want to disturb you?” It sounded like a question and it made Elias laugh. I loved his laugh and I couldn’t help but smile through the anxiety tickling my chest.

“Addie, excuse my language but, you can’t lie for s**t. You never could. I’ve always admired that about you too. It’s just you and me right now, there’s nothing that you need to be afraid of. You can literally tell me anything. So I’m going to ask again, what did you hear that made you not want to come down?”

Anything. Did he even understand all that really came with that word… for me anyway? I did trust him but this was stepping into forbidden territory that I thought I’d never be able to touch. I was pretty sure he was talking about me though…not completely, but pretty sure.

“I thought… I thought you were… talking, t-talking about me… which doesn’t make any sense because of the things you were saying…” Great use of words Addie, you English so well. I was clenching my teeth now, fully and thoroughly irritated with myself.

“I was, Addie. I was talking about you.”

WHAT? “Huh?” I had no idea how to respond to that.

He moved his hand a little higher up on my thigh and I swallowed hard. I felt like my breaths were becoming shallower.

“Why do you blush so hard when you look at me? Why do you stutter and shake when I’m near… or when I touch you?” Again he squeezed the place he was holding on my thigh and this time I couldn’t stop the whimper that wanted to break free from my lips.

I hadn’t realized the car had stopped and I didn’t know how long we had been driving at that point but we were stopped at some convenience store. He had undone his seat belt and was now completely facing me.

It felt like slow motion as he leaned in and I felt his breath on my lips. His eyes held mine and there was no way I could look away right now.

“Tell me, Addie.”

I watched his eyes fall onto my lips before he looked back up.

“Tell me, I’m just going to kiss you anyway.” He didn’t give me a chance to respond again because I let out another whimper and his lips were on mine.

My eyes fluttered shut as he parted my lips with his tongue. I moaned into his mouth and he followed, letting loose a deep, guttural noise into mine.

He tasted… so good, I thought I might cry. Our tongues clashed with a madness I couldn’t comprehend. The kiss started gentle and turned into what I could only describe as violent in a matter of seconds.

His one hand was still on my thigh and the other made its way to my hair where he was gripping… hard. I whimpered again in surprise.

He bit my bottom lip, growled and then ran his tongue over it before he pulled back and released his tight hold on my hair.

“s**t. I’m so sorry, Addie. Are you okay? I didn’t mean to…” This time I grabbed onto his shoulders and pulled his mouth back onto mine and he let out a whine like moan that I swear I could feel all the way down into my core.

He devoured my mouth again for what seemed like forever and then the both of us were gasping for air. He chuckled softly, pressing his forehead to mine. His eyes bore into mine with an intensity that I had never seen before. Want… need, burned there.

Nothing I had ever seen in any tv show, any movie, had ever prepared me for this… could ever compare to this. My body felt like it was humming, vibrating with the same need I could see in his eyes and feel in his kiss.

Elias wanted me. My soul was on fire.

“Do you understand, Addie? How I feel?”

“I-I think so…” He needed to actually fully tell me or I wouldn’t be 100% sure.

Again he chuckled and sat up as he shook his head. The heat hadn’t left his eyes and they were very hooded. He bit his lip as he gently cupped the back of my neck.

I felt incredibly hot and… wet. I had never experienced this before and the hold he had on my neck had me panting. He looked down at my lap for just a moment before he locked his eyes with mine again.

“I’m going to make sure that you, thoroughly, without a single doubt do understand and never, ever forget or mistake exactly how I feel for anything else. You are mine now.”