Heart desired

//chapter 3//

I waited at the hospital for three days.

No one visited me exept someone called Andrea from Cecelia's orphanage. She told me that she managed to convince the headmistress of orphanage to let me stay after I sneaked out.

As soon as I saw her, distance memories flooded inside me, almost fainting me at the process. They were all blurry and incomplete, but it was enough for me to know that she was the only friend Cecelia had.

I honestly didn't know what to say to her. So instead trying to start a small conversation, I asked her the only thing that I knew about Cecelia.

"Did you throw my things away?" I asked, not wanting to see Cecelia's diary being misplaced.

"No. Thanks to your attitude, I am the only one who even went to your room to grab some clothes for you. Others are simply enjoying the fact that you are not there." She said.

"Oh." I said in a low voice. So everyone hated Cecelia.

After she went away, I went through the things she brought. There wasn't anything specific in them that caught my attention. But when I was discharged and wore a dress of hers, something caught my eye.

There was L.S. letters embroidered to it.

Who is that? I wondered. As if on clue, a memory came to my head.

A boy who looked insanely familier held Cecelia's hands. She blushed, giving herself to his touch, almost as if melting. He pulled her towards his chest and embraced her. Gently whispering "happy birthday." Then he gave her the dress and left, saying that he is busy. Cecelia clutched the cloth and inhaled it sharply, devouring the boy's scent.

As soon as that memory ended, I almost gagged. Gross! Does that mean I have to date Cecelia's boyfriend, whoever it is? Goodness, I'd rather die.

Besides, even though I had met so many boys and have seen some people in tv shows and blah blah blah, the only person who caught my attention was simply a dream. I have interacted with more than hundred boys and haven't felt anything for them till him, which was a relief since I was starting to question my own sexuality.

Yeah, I was crushing on an idol.

So nevermind. The first thing I'll do after killing the person Cecelia want will be breaking up with her boyfriend.

I was surprised at the fact that I was coming to except the fact that I have to kill someone to live. Am I becoming a heartless creature?

Whatever. First thing first. Let's get the heck out of this insanely boring hospital.

When I reach the entrance after paying the bills with the cash Andrea has given me, she was waiting for me. I was glad, because if she wasn't there, I will be completely at a loss since I didn't know the directions.

As we got into a bus, I noticed that Andrea looked sad. Despite not knowing her, I wanted to comfort her because it is the last thing I can do for her lost best friend.

"Hey. What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nasha Rawyer." She replied, making me choke on my own salvia.

"Who?" I asked to make sure.

"The writer of Midnight Hunt, you i***t. She is... dead." She said, making me sigh in frustration. I haven't even completed that series. But to show that I am shocked, I pretended.

"How? When?"

"The day you got into the accident. Didn't anyone tell you?"

"About what?"

"That you killed her!" Andrea exploded. "If you haven't sneaked out that night, you wouldn't have slammed into her and she'd probably be still alive right now!"

I looked at her mouth wide. Does my readers care this much about me? Why? Because of my books? Or stories? How can I make it up to them now? I never felt so lost. Only if I hadn't slept late that day. If only I had asked Daniel to drop me at home, instead of near the mall. My stubborn ass was the real fault of me dying.

Andrea must have taken the expression on my face wrong, because the next moment, she was apologizing. "Hey, I didn't mean to yell at you like that. It just came out of my mouth. Sorry. You know how I am with my words."

No I don't. "Yeah." I muttered anyways.

"You went to see him, right?" Suddenly she asked quietly.

Not knowing what to say, I just looked at the building we were passing. I heared her disappointed sigh. "You should just forget him. He and you are in two different worlds now. I don't really understand why do you still love him after all those things you went through because of him." She said, shaking her head to make the moment a little dramatic.

"I know." I replied, still looking out of the window. "Don't worry. I will break up with him soon."

"No way!!" Andrea clapped her hands together, literally beaming.  "What made you this wise? Tell me!"

It's what you get when you like only one dream boy. Beside, dating someone who doesn't even know that I excisted will be the last thing I will do. Beside, if he try to kiss me, how gross would that be?! I shuddered at the thought, searching for a perfect excuse to tell Andrea. "He is very busy and I always get in the way. I don't want to be a burden." I said, making up what I only know about him due to the memory I saw. Beside, it felt like something Cecelia would do.

"You are too good for him, Cecily. Oh. We are here." I got up with her and went to Cecelia's orphanage.

And was welcomed by a blaming headmistress and bunch of glares.

I ignored them as well as I can since this was none of my business. After headmistress gave me three or four huge warnings to throw me out she let me go.

Inside the orphanage, my feet automatically went on to direction of Cecelia's room as if she did it subconsciously all the time. Andrea waved at me and after I was inside the room safely, I began my business.

"Under the wardrobe." I murmured to myself, searching. Of course there was a diary and it seems like often used.

I held it in my hands, afraid to flip the page because that would mean I have to face the actual reality of killing someone.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

My heart was going crazy as my new hands began to shake. Sweat dripped down from my forhead. I gulped and flipped it open.

And gasped in shock. No way!! No freaking way!!

I looked at it again, not believing my eyes.

Cecelia Blackwood

♡ + ♡

Luke Silverstone

♡ ♡ Happily ever After!!!!! ♡ ♡ 

No way! I thought as I looked at the name. Luke Silverstone. I know him. To be honest, he is my idol.

I sulked to the bed, suddenly jealous. So he was really taken. What a dream crushing moment.

And then, as if a boulder was placed on my shoulders, something hit me.

The name on the first page. Kill him please. Cecelia's words echoed in my head and suddenly the world began to spin around me. Since Cecelia is already dead, then only name remained was Luke's. Which means...

In order to live more than two years, I have to kill my idol.